


She Chose Me

by supersmileys (gingerninja)



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: F/M, Mystery, spoilers for 4x16
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-07
Updated: 2015-07-02
Packaged: 2018-03-16 18:39:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 43,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3498809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gingerninja/pseuds/supersmileys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set post Season 4 finale (with spoilers). After something happens that Harvey never believed could possibly happen, he goes and talks to Louis to settle it. But when emotions are running high, and it's Louis and Harvey...no-one can expect civility.</p><p>Harvey gets a new secretary, and everyone tries to move on. But that's easier said than done.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Can-Opener

_Rattle, rattle._ The box of thumbtacks Harvey was holding betrayed the fact that his hands were shaking. He tossed them aside across his desk and clenched his fists to try and steady himself. The news of Donna going to work for Louis had all but rendered him immobile, but it hadn’t properly sunk in until he noticed that most of Donna’s possessions had already moved from her desk. This made Harvey wonder how long they had been gone; Donna had clearly made the decision at some point earlier on in the day to abandon him. He didn’t want to think about when the exact moment she had come to that decision. To do so would force him to remember how he had pissed her off with his attempt at an explanation for the other night.  
  
Donna had said she loved him, but words evidently meant fuck-all anymore. If she really loved him, she wouldn’t have left him. _Yes she would._ Donna working for him was her acceptance of the fact that they couldn’t be together. But it sure as fuck didn’t feel that way. Especially now. Back when he had first learned about Donna’s rule, they had slept together once. It was easy to forget and move on professionally back then, but they had come a long way. That rule was outdated. Donna’s rule was designed to stop her from getting hurt from temporary flings. What they had was better than any fling. They had understanding, history, trust and unwavering loyalty. Until now.  
  
To leave Harvey for Louis was the worst possible outcome. He’d still see her every day, an unflinching reminder that she hung him out to dry for the one person that he couldn’t ever let himself lose to. Would she ever go back to him?  
  
The pit of his stomach turned absolutely rotten as something occurred to him. He almost didn’t want to check, but he knew that if he didn’t check it would keep him up all night. Harvey drew himself up from his desk and made his way over to Donna’s (he couldn’t say ‘the desk that used to be Donna’s’ just yet). It took a moment and a long, purposeful exhale before he sought to confirm his suspicions. He slowly reached out for the top desk drawer and inched it open.  
  
The can opener was still there.  
  


* * *

 

  
There had been only one other significant time that Donna had not been working for Harvey, and that was when she was fired during the lawsuit against Pearson Hardman. That had been awful, but this time it seemed even less likely that Donna would return to him.  
  
The status of their relationship was called into question by the very person Donna chose to leave him for.  
  
“ _Do you love Harvey Specter?!”_ Louis had grilled Donna to the point of humiliation. The look of betrayal Donna had given Harvey as she left the law firm after storming out incited an unprecedented rage in him. At that point, Harvey had been this close to kicking Louis’ teeth in for how he had treated her. This time, the animosity was the same, but it was as much self-loathing as it was resentment of Louis.  
  
Donna’s sorrowful look as she told him she loved him the night before was even worse. Because she had obviously thought about it, made a choice and decided to follow through. While he pleaded for her to stay out of urgency and desperation, she was apologetic but calm. It was almost the same pity that she’d accused Harvey of having for her – and he finally knew how it felt. Donna was trying to tell him that it was okay. But it wasn’t. Donna was gone, and the whole life they had built together had crumbled with it.  


* * *

  
  
Louis Litt was surprised to find his long-term colleague and rival sitting at his desk when he arrived the work the next morning. Even more surprising was the dark circles and downturned face on Harvey, when it was meant to be an occasion to celebrate.  
  
“Harvey, what are you doing here? I assume you didn’t hear the good news?” Louis looked positively chipper, and already Harvey was holding back an urge to punch something within arm’s reach.  
  
“You mean, the ‘good news’ that I was left up shit creek because you stole my fucking paddle?” Harvey hadn’t meant to raise his voice this early on in the conversation, but it was the perfect storm of a lack of sleep, Donna’s departure and Louis’ punchable face that brought his volume level up several notches.  
  
“I meant the news about Mike and Rachel. They’re engaged. Donna’s organising a celebratory breakfast for them when they come into work.” Harvey felt a twinge of guilt. He had ignored all calls and messages he had received throughout the evening and he had had no desire to check or respond to any of them unless they were Donna.  
  
“That’s great news,” Harvey muttered, lowering his voice. As good as it was for the betrothed couple, it served as another reminder that apparently every relationship Harvey touched turned to shit. Even if it took more than a decade.  
  
“You don’t sound so pleased about it. What are you doing here, Harvey?” Louis asked again, this time his tone was more serious. He had deliberately ignored Harvey’s earlier outburst because he wasn’t going to acknowledge any childish behaviour from Harvey. If Harvey wanted something, he would have to respectfully and maturely ask for it for Louis to even consider.  
  
“Louis, we need to talk.”  
  
“About what?” Louis knew exactly what, but there was no way he was going to make this easy for Harvey. Harvey was beginning to seethe, but it only increased the desire for Louis to stay as calm as was possible.  
  
“About…Donna.” Ah, the infamous Harvey Specter jaw clench.  
  
“My new secretary? She’s been so good to me lately. After everything with Norma, it’s been wonderful to have a person there at my side who understands my needs before I need her to. We’re going to make the best legal team Pearson Specter Litt’s ever seen.” _Like fuck you are._ Sure, Donna was the best legal secretary New York would ever see, but nothing would top the Harvey/Donna Dynasty (a working title; their brainstorming sessions about the name of their partnership had been cut short one day and never continued). Donna had been instrumental in Harvey’s success, but that had been because their relationship was more balanced. The only thing Harvey could see ahead for Donna if ( _when_ ) she went to work for Louis was her being used as an emotional crutch and running around _for_ Louis, not _with_ him. This was a step down for her. But instead of enunciating any of these feelings, Harvey came out with a far more juvenile response.  
  
“You can’t have her,” he snapped.    
  
“Excuse me? I can’t _have_ her? Are you listening to yourself right now? She’s not a toy, Harvey.” Louis was incredulous. He had _hoped_ that the shock of Donna leaving would make Harvey see sense and grow the hell up. That was evidently wishful thinking.  
  
  
“ _I_ sure as hell know that, but the question is, do _YOU?!”_ Could Louis see that Donna was not an emotional stuffed animal to cry to whenever things got difficult? Louis had _no_ fucking idea about what was going on, and he was delusional if he thought he knew the truth.  
  
“She’s my friend as well! What the hell’s the matter with you? If you’re so upset with this, why are you talking to me? Why don’t you go talk to Donna herself? Oh, I know why. Because it’s her choice, and _she chose me.”_ Every single truthful word out of Louis’ mouth dug into Harvey’s heart. His insides were twisting, and still Louis kept talking.  
  
“You can’t _stand_ the fact that for once, you fucked up and you lost, and you can’t fix it! You’re pissed off because all you are is a sore loser, a shitty boss and an even shittier friend.” _BAM._ Harvey had Louis pinned up against the wall, his forearm pressing tight against Louis’ windpipe. Louis was slowly going red, but he almost looked vindicated at Harvey’s fury.  
  
“I’m pissed off because I love her, _and you took her away from me_ ,” Harvey growled, with a murderous darkness in his eyes.    
  
“Then _prove it,_ ” Louis hissed, cherishing the opportunity to rub this in Harvey’s face. Harvey eased off the pressure and let Louis go, but he had tripped Louis’ anger switch, and the wrath was flowing.  
  
  
“Oh wait, you can’t! You _drove her away,_ and she came to me. You were too scared to be honest about your feelings. What’s the matter, Harvey? Too scared to let her walk all over you? Do you even know her at all? Do you even _care?”_ This was all what had angered Louis the most about Harvey over the years. How he took people for granted. The sense of entitlement that dripped off his every limb, his every word. The way people threw themselves at his feet. Even those who deserved better. Especially Donna.  
  
“ _She knows I care!”_ Harvey shouted, his voice cracking.  
  
“ _BULLSHIT!”_ Louis roared. His last word echoed through the silence that then filled the room.  
  
“What’s going on here?” A third voice came from the door. Donna. After the happy news she had received about Mike and Rachel, she had turned up to work to see both her old and her new boss panting as though they’d just run a marathon, and – _why_ did they both look like they were on the verge of tears?  
  
“Don’t make me repeat myself. What is going on here? _Louis?_ ” she added dangerously. Louis gave a tell-tale sniff, and tried to swallow the lump in his throat, but didn’t say anything. Before she could prod him any further, Harvey jumped in.  
  
“You left this behind,” Harvey said hoarsely. He pulled out the can-opener from his pocket, and Donna’s day immediately turned upside down. She had deliberately left it behind because it would hurt too much to keep it with her as a reminder she had had with Harvey.  
  
“It’s yours, you were the one who took it,” Donna insisted. She was trying to subtly plead with him not to take it, because if she did take it she didn’t trust that she wouldn’t back down from her decision to work for Louis. Which was partly Harvey’s intention.  
  
“I took it for you, for OUR ritual. It was a gift.” Harvey’s voice was soft and tender. Louis had to turn his head away. He had always known that Harvey and Donna had loved each other in whatever fucked up way they had, but this was different. This was a side to them he’d never seen.  
  
“Keep it,” Donna whispered, refusing to take it. But when Harvey picked up her hands and placed the can opener in it, he closed his hands around hers. She didn’t want him to let go. Donna couldn’t look him in the face, or else she’d start crying. Last night she’d been so sure of her decision, but he was reminding her of the feelings she’d forced herself to swallow in order to allow her to leave Harvey. Harvey couldn’t stand the sight of Donna about to cry, unable to meet his eyes, but he kept holding her hands, the can opener between them.  He wasn’t ready to let her go. When a tear slipped down Donna’s cheek, he knew he was about at breaking point.  
  
“Harvey, I’m just across the hall. It’s going to be okay. You’ll be fine. Louis needs me more than you do right now. He's willing to work with me and trust in me. You don’t need to worry about me. I’ll be right here.” It was unclear who was meant to be comforting whom, but Donna through her tears was trying to reassure Harvey.  
  
“The only reason why I’ll be okay is because you taught me how to be okay,” Harvey whispered back to her. _No, Harvey, please don’t. Don’t make this harder than it already is._ Louis wanted to vomit. He had truly, honestly thought that their love was over. This he could never compete with. Donna would always love Harvey. No matter what he did, what he said. Harvey would always be number one.  
  
“I trust you, too. You kept all of your important promises to me. I won’t ever forget that. But you’re Harvey goddamn Specter. You’re going to continue to be awesome and kick-ass, and I will always be around to cheer you on, even if I’m not right there. You know how I know this? I’m Donna.” She sounded more like her normal self, and Harvey let out a choked laugh. Donna always knew how to make him feel better.  
  
“Now take the friggin’ can opener, add it to your ball collection and for God’s sake, go congratulate Mike,” she ordered, her voice even stronger. Harvey took this as his cue to leave. He nodded, and leaned his head forward to hers. With the slightest bit of hesitation, he kissed her on the cheek. It felt safer. Harvey could have kissed her properly, and he knew that she would have kissed him back, but it wasn’t the time nor the place. Plus, Harvey finally felt more confident that this wasn’t goodbye. So it was okay to go.  
  
When he left, Donna all but collapsed into the nearest chair, burying her head in her hands.  
  
“I need a day,” she heard Louis say, and she started shaking from uncontrollable laughter. Louis interpreted this as silent tears, and he quickly rushed over to comfort her. Maybe her tears were both from laughter and sadness, but either way it was damn therapeutic. When she felt it was safe to lift her head, she smiled up with glistening eyes at her new boss.  
  
“We’re going to be okay, Louis.” It was as much for her benefit as for his, but it seemed to lift his spirits as much as hers. Donna knew that Harvey had been about to kiss her. For the first time, she felt like she knew exactly the extent to which he loved her. And she understood why he hadn’t. But now there was one less barrier preventing them from being together. She had made Harvey take the can opener, because he was the one that needed to open that can of worms that was their relationship. And when he did, she’d be ready with the whipped cream.  
  
Harvey had thought that he had lost her from her changing jobs. But it was quite the opposite. By choosing to work for Louis, she was choosing Harvey. She just hoped that he would be wise enough to see that she had left the ball in Harvey’s court to make the next move. But she had faith. Donna had trained him well.  


	2. A Successor to a Secretary

_**Six Weeks AD (After Donna)** _  
  
With a whistle and almost a spring in his step, Mike Ross slid into Harvey’s office ready to antagonise his friend and co-worker.   
  
“Is that a new secretary outside?” The woman sitting at Donna’s old desk was unfamiliar to Mike, but this exchange had become so commonplace in the past couple of months that it was quickly reaching the point of absurdity. Harvey didn’t even bother to look up from his morning newspaper; he knew what Mike was hinting at and he wasn’t going to bite.   
  
“You know that answer already.” If Mike wanted a proper answer from Harvey, he was shit out of luck. However, Mike had been in a jubilant mood ever since he and Rachel had gotten engaged, and his smugness levels had escalated exponentially. Despite Harvey’s apparent descent into misery, Mike wasn’t going to let that bring him down. In fact, he was feeling almost charitable that morning. Mike would help Harvey by getting him to admit what the problem was in his life. He would do this by taking one of the first pieces of advice Harvey had ever given him: push it until it hurt.   
  
  
  
“Is she number eleven or twelve?” She was actually number thirteen, but Mike was curious to see whether Harvey was even keeping count. Or whether Harvey even cared.   
  
“I thought you were supposed to have some kind of freakish memory, don’t tell me that was all a lie as well.” Still not even a glance in Mike’s direction. The coffee on Harvey’s desk was untouched, thanks to an unfortunate episode with his ninth secretary – an optimistic but naïve young man who had tried to introduce Harvey to chai lattes. The poor soul didn’t last past ten o’clock on his first day. Since the incident, Harvey had sworn off coffee unless he could verify its origin.   
  
“Ouch. So, what’s her name?” The digs weren’t making a dent in Mike’s mood – and he had a mission. The more Harvey seemed offended, the more Mike knew where to prod.   
  
“Are you implying that I don’t know the name of my own secretary?” This was better. Harvey’s slightly raised voice indicated to Mike a sign of guilt – he hadn’t bothered to learn the woman’s name.   
  
“ _Your_ secretary? Oh, so you actually personally hired someone this time?” Jessica had been kind enough to oversee the hiring of Harvey’s secretaries to ensure that they wouldn’t result in harassment suits. Not to mention the fact that Harvey had been repulsed by the idea of hiring a replacement. Rachel and Mike had had the foresight to approach Jessica before Harvey dumped the minutiae of his workload on them. She had done her best and hired a number of bright and talented individuals, but Harvey had had an issue with every single one. One unlucky woman had been let go as soon as Harvey turned up to work and laid eyes on her red hair. But Harvey was a gentleman. He had let her have a full day’s work before summoning her into her office to deliver the bad news. Plus, Harvey had appearances to keep up. If Donna or Louis had seen her leave less than an hour after arriving, they would have won.  
  
It wasn’t an official competition. Louis had actually been graceful and tactful about the effect Donna’s departure had had on Harvey since their confrontation. He had done so by avoiding Harvey entirely except when it came to official business. Jessica was aware of the situation, but she wasn’t going to intervene until it actually affected performances, which so far it hadn’t. She didn’t know the dirty details, and frankly she didn’t want to know. Any attempt she had made to get the story from the parties involved had proved fruitless. Louis would clam up and shrug it off, Harvey would respond with a glib remark, and Donna? Donna would refuse to answer any questions without her attorney present. When asked who that attorney might be: “I refuse to answer without my attorney present.”   
  
  
Mike smiled when Harvey didn’t answer his question. He made himself comfortable on Harvey’s couch, propping his feet up over its right arm. It was time to break through Harvey’s stonewalling by swinging in from a different angle.   
  
“So, have you talked to Donna yet?”  That name hadn’t been uttered in Harvey’s office ever since she had left it six weeks earlier, and saying it aloud was akin to blasphemy.   
  
  
“You wanna get yourself fired?” Lately Harvey had no trouble sending people on their merry way out to survive by themselves in the big city.   
  
“Fired? I may as well go work for Louis.” Mike instinctively ducked in anticipation of Harvey going Incredible Hulk on his ass; but all he received was a lethal glare.   
  
“Oh come on, too soon? It’s been six weeks, Harvey.” Perhaps he was downplaying the gravity of the situation, but Harvey wasn’t going to move on OR make nice with Donna in his current mental state. Both Harvey and Donna were so incredibly stubborn that it was going to take a miracle to fix it. Donna was insistent that there was nothing to fix. She was perfectly fine with the situation. _Yes,_ she was sure.   
  
“As an engaged man, may I offer you some advice?” Mike inquired sagely.   
  
“No, you may not. You can, however, get the hell out of my office.” The conversation was over, and Mike had officially outstayed his welcome. Just before Mike left, he lowered voice to inform Harvey of something he thought would be of interest to Harvey.   
  
“Your new secretary stole that coffee from Louis’ desk this morning. It’s guaranteed good stuff, Donna made it herself.”  
  
Harvey waited until Mike had left to pick up the coffee and take a satisfied sip.   
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
The filing room was the last bastion of peace, quiet and consistency at Pearson Specter Litt. Donna had found her stride working alongside Louis, and they were working out really well.  But despite the success of her new job, it still took some getting used to. But when she was in the filing room, it was like she had never left. Rarely anything ever surprised her or caught her off-guard in the filing room. Except for the curious sniffling sounds coming from a far-flung corner.

 

It was Harvey’s new secretary Sadie, a bright young 23 year old whom Jessica had hand-picked with great care. Donna and Sadie had never formally met, but Donna already knew everything there was to know about her. She had been monitoring the new secretary situation in secret, and was eager to make sure her successor was worthy of stepping into her footprints. Which is why she had suggested to Oliver Sampson that Harvey was always eager to try new hot beverages.   
  
Donna already had a somewhat of a grudge against Sadie for stealing the coffee she had made for Louis earlier that day, but the sound of Sadie crying softened Donna somewhat. The thought of Harvey trampling over another innocent party as he continued to play a martyr was maddening. This had gone on long enough. If Harvey was so eager to churn through secretaries until someone put their foot down, Donna would do her darndest to make sure he couldn’t get rid of Sadie.   


“Oh my God, Sadie, are you okay?” Donna treaded carefully over to Sadie, armed with a tissue. She was acutely aware of the fact that Harvey couldn’t see her talking to Sadie, or she’d be out within the hour.  Sadie gratefully took the tissue and wiped her eyes. 

 

“Harvey threatened to fire me for stealing from Louis and ruin my prospects of ever working in New York ever again.” If Harvey had truly wanted Sadie gone, she would be banned from the building already. Sadie didn’t know it, but she was already closer to succeeding than almost all of her predecessors. Apart from Donna herself, of course.   
  
“What did you say to that?” Donna’s arms were crossed in a display of standoffishness, but her curiosity betrayed her.  In order to get Sadie through this marathon of a trial period, she needed to know her strengths and weaknesses.  
  
“I asked him why he had waited until after he finished Louis’ coffee to make that decision – and then I suggested that maybe he should stop drinking coffee if he needed caffeine to figure out if something was illegal or not.”   
  
“You _didn’t._ ” This girl had balls.  This meant one of two things: 1) Harvey would admire her more than other secretaries and keep her around or 2) he would take offence to her damaging his fragile ego. A balance needed to be struck. Plus, it was entertaining to see someone else besides herself and Mike who could knock Harvey down a notch or two. In his current mood, however, the only sure-fire way to ensure Sadie’s job security was to give Harvey the impression that Donna hated her.    
  
“Okay, Sadie, I’m going to forget the incident with the coffee and help you out if you promise never EVER to do it again, okay?” (Sadie nodded hastily) “Good. Now, before we continue, how are your acting skills?”   


* * *

  
  
“Do you hate me all of a sudden?” Harvey jumped as though he had seen a ghost. Donna had been slipping in and out of his thoughts all day, and to have her appear right in front of him was jarring.   
  
“Donna! What the hell are you doing here?!” They hadn’t spoken since she had insisted he had taken back the can opener. At the time, he had been confused and desperate and upset. But now he was just bitter. Whose fault that was could be argued either way, but there was no love lost between them now. Or so Harvey believed.   
  
“I’m going to say it one more time: Do. You. Hate. Me?” Donna was taking a serious gamble here. If Harvey was as unstable as she guessed he was, he could easily affirm her question. Even if he didn’t mean it, it would still hurt. She knew Harvey and how he tended to react, except when it came to her. Harvey took a typical Harvey Specter deflection by leaning forward and pressing a button on his intercom.   
  
“Sadie, did Donna have an appointment?” Harvey knew her name.  That was a step in the right direction. Sadie had also been smart about deciding to cry in the file room – Harvey never went in there.   
  
“No, Harvey,” Sadie replied dutifully. “She completely ignored me.”   
  
“You don’t have an appointment, and you disrespected my secretary? Then I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” He took great joy in the power he (thought he) held over Donna in that moment. The look on her face mirrored how she had made him feel. Harvey was relishing the feeling; it had been notably absent in recent weeks.   
  
“Tell her if she goes near Louis’ desk or mine ever again, I will see to it that you will be making your own coffee for a very long time.” Harvey’s smile broadened at Donna’s threat.   
  
“Tell her yourself. If you march in here without an appointment again, I will have you trespassed from this office.” His tone was matter-of-fact, and Donna unexpectedly found it hurtful. He seemed less irrationally upset over her departure and more as though he had progressed to a cool hatred towards her betrayal. At any rate, Donna had laid her groundwork for Sadie’s survival and that was all she had intended to do. It was time to leave. Sadie gave Donna a small smile which Donna did not return as she headed back across to her new desk.   
  
When it rolled around to 8pm, Harvey acknowledged Sadie’s good work for the day and went home feeling better for the first time in weeks. Donna swallowed the tears she’d been holding in all evening, and for the first time in six weeks regretted leaving Harvey. She hadn’t even considered the possibility that he might actually be okay without her, and now that he was settling in, Donna was terrified.  
  
Maybe she was losing her touch.


	3. A Few Good Questions

It was a day where Harvey lived up to his nickname of ‘The Closer’. His grinning face told Sadie all she needed to know as he strode past her desk, but she knew he’d want her to ask anyway. She followed him into his office, where he was propping his feet up on his desk in triumph.   
  
“How did we do?” Sadie asked, placing a well-deserved coffee on his desk. He tilted his head in the direction of his scotch, and she grinned and grabbed the bottle and brought it over to him with two glasses.  


“Crushed ‘em.” Harvey replied, pouring himself a glass of scotch. He swirled it around in his glass and then added to his coffee. Sadie had already made his coffee Irish before she brought it in to him. She considered warning him, but figured that it was a celebration and he wouldn’t care.  

 

“What was the damage?” Sadie asked, holding out her glass expectantly. With a raised eyebrow, Harvey pretended to withhold the liquor before pouring her a glass as well. She perched on the edge of his desk and took a sip. Scotch wasn’t normally Sadie’s preferred drink of choice, but when the expensive stuff was on offer, she wasn’t about to say no.

 

“$15 million.” This was higher than they’d been expecting with the settlement in question. To acknowledge his win, Sadie held her glass out as if to toast him, and Harvey accepted her toast before downing his coffee in its entirety. He then picked up a pile of folders from his desk and held them out to his secretary.   
  
“I know you were anxiously waiting to see how this settlement was going to go, but you forgot to file these. You better do it now while I’m still in a good mood.” Sadie rolled her eyes at him, but took the folders from his hands. She went to finish her scotch before she left, but Harvey was quicker and he finished it for her.   
  
“You’re going to be drunk in a few minutes,” Sadie warned him as she headed out the office. Harvey gave her a dismissive wave, and smirked as he craned his neck to get the very last dregs of his coffee. The celebrations he’d had with Donna after a successful case bubbled to his mind, and it dampened his spirits a little. He was quick to push it out of his mind so he could enjoy the moment. Donna wasn’t needed to win. But his next visitor to knock on his door quickly changed his temperament on sight.  
  
“Terrence Wolf, what the hell are you doing here?” He hadn’t spoken to the DA since the case involving Donna, and Harvey had been eager to obscure that incident from memory. Terrence had been expecting such a greeting, and he was all smiles as he delivered his message.   
  
“Once again, Harvey, you’re linked to some very shady crime-committing employees.”   
  
“What the hell are you talking about?” Harvey’s defensive tone was thanks to the ever-lasting concern that Mike’s cover would be blown. The answer was not what Harvey was expecting.   
  
“Your newest secretary, Sadie Clifford, is wanted for questioning relating to an incident in midtown over the weekend.” _Sadie?!_ Terrence Wolf evidently wanted Harvey’s head on a silver platter, and it didn’t matter who he brought down in the process. It had failed with Donna (even when Donna _had_ actually done something wrong), but to pick on Sadie was just a cheap shot.   
  
“Is she under arrest?” Harvey wasn’t feeling particularly amicable towards Terrence, and he had no plans on making his job any easier. He figured that Sadie would appreciate him stepping up to bat for her in this instance – especially as it was his fault in the first place.   
  
“She is not, but we would like it if she were to come downtown and talk to us.” Terrence admitted, and Harvey practically scoffed in his face.  
  
“Unless she’s under arrest, I can tell you right now that you can go fuck yourself.” Now that Harvey was in the position of power – his office, Terrence coming to _him_ for co-operation – it was the golden opportunity to say what he’d been thinking for several months.   
  
“I’m disappointed to hear that, Harvey. You don’t even know what’s happened.”  
  
“And until she’s under arrest, I don’t give a shit.” Terrence shook his head with a sigh, but knew when it was fruitless to pursue co-operation. Sadie was returning from the file room when he was on his way out, and he gave her an intimidating gaze which she shrugged off as she re-entered Harvey’s office.  
  
“Who was that?”   
  
“That was the DA, trying to stir up trouble where there is none.  If he approaches you, do not talk to him under any circumstances,” Harvey warned her.   
  
“Have I done something wrong?” Sadie asked with a laugh as she handed Harvey his updated schedule.  
  
“Well, you’re not under arrest, so I don’t think we need to worry.”   
  
“I think we can have another drink to that!”   
  
  


* * *

  
  
Harvey wasn’t worried, but Jessica was curious. Terrence gave her a small nod as he stepped into the elevator and she stepped out. People from the DA’s office were rarely seen within the halls of Pearson Specter Litt without something serious occurring. She had her suspicions about what could potentially be the problem, and she knew where to find her first port of call.   
  
“Mike, would you see me in my office tonight at 10pm? I need to talk to you about something.” Mike was perplexed as to why Jessica would want to see him under such circumstances, but he wasn’t exactly in a position where he could refuse. It sounded serious, but he tried to downplay his apprehension.   
  
“Uh, sure. I’ll be there.”  
  
“Good,” Jessica replied, and before he could work out what was going on, she had already left.  


* * *

  
  
Jessica’s office was unusually dark when Mike approached it from the hallway. Naught but a dim lamp was illuminating from within. Had he misinterpreted Jessica’s message? He couldn’t have. His face pressed close to the glass didn’t spot a silhouette in her office, but maybe she was standing broodily in the corner. Mike started envisioning Jessica as the Godfather as he vaguely wondered why she’d summoned him for such a late-night meeting. 

  
“You’re early.” The voice from behind Mike sent him a mile into the air. He avoided cursing as he turned to face his boss. Jessica was smiling, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. His sense of disquiet increased, and he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was seriously wrong.

“Uh, yeah, well, it sounded important and I didn’t want to mess you around,” Mike tried to settle his heart rate.  He held the door open for Jessica to enter, and to give him a second to regain composure.

 

“Have a seat.” It was the couches that Jessica was gesturing towards. Impromptu disciplinary hearings and lie detector tests didn’t tend to take place between parties on couches, but with Jessica there was an exception for many rules.

  
“What’s this about?” he blurted out suddenly. Rachel was waiting for him at home, and if he was going to be punished, he didn’t want to wait.

 

“I want your opinion on something going on at the firm.” Jessica handed Mike a glass of water as a sense of goodwill. Also because she sensed his tension, and she knew she wouldn’t get straight answers from him in his state. Mike nodded uneasily in agreement, and she proceeded with her inquiry.

 

“How do you think the secretarial reassignments are going?” She worded her question in a way that made Mike uncomfortable. It was worryingly clinical; Mike couldn’t figure out her angle. Her voice was calm and emotionless, but someone was obviously in trouble. It didn’t sound like he was the one under fire, but that didn’t dispel his nervousness. Mike gave a noncommittal shrug. Jessica’s hard gaze lingered on Mike, and he tried his hardest not to squirm under her stare.

 

“Well, no-one’s been fired in two months,” was Mike’s guarded answer. He wasn’t planning on being more open with his answers until he knew who Jessica was concerned about. Harvey was still theoretically on probation in Jessica’s eyes for burning through 12 secretaries before Sadie. Mike didn’t want to accidentally implicate someone without knowing what was going on.  
  
“Do you know why Terrence Wolf was here today?” Jessica’s next question.  The mention of the DA threw Mike off; such a visit tended to be reserved for subpoenas and in Donna’s case, being informed of an arraignment.    
  
“Terrence Wolf? He was back here again?” Did they have another problem on their hands concerning their previous case?  
  
“ _Again_? When was he here last?” Jessica was incredulous. Was there a culture of criminal activity brewing right under her nose?   
  
“Uhhhhh….” It dawned on Mike that no-one had informed Jessica on what had happened with the case that nearly ended with Donna’s incarceration. He desperately tried to salvage the situation by down-playing it.  
  
“Look, Jessica, it wasn’t that big a deal. I’m not really the person you should be talking to; it was mainly between Donna and Harvey.” God, how he longed for the opportunity to bolt for the door. Harvey would have his balls for breakfast if he knew that Mike accidentally spilled the beans on something they had managed to keep quiet for months.   
  
“Donna and Harvey? Does it have to do with why Donna left for Louis?” _ABORT. ABORT._ There was no way that there was anything to say that would make the situation better. It was time to end the conversation.  
  
“Jessica, don’t put me in the middle of this. You should honestly be talking to the two of them about this, not me.” Mike had had an instrumental role in the case, but he didn’t think it was fair for him to explain the situation when they weren’t there to defend themselves. This at least gave him time to warn them that Jessica was onto them.  
  
“Alright, I’ve heard enough for now. You can go.” Mike didn’t need further encouragement; he scrambled from his seat and out the door before Jessica changed her mind.   


* * *

  
  
Mike was in panic mode the next morning. Jessica had called him asking him to attend another urgent meeting in one of the more discreet conference rooms, and he had a feeling he knew who would be asked to accompany him.  
  
“Sadie, can you tell Harvey when he gets in that Jessica is on his trail and that she’ll want to see him for an urgent meeting?” Mike asked breathlessly when he reached her desk. She eyed him warily.  
  
“Is everything alright?” Mike looked desperately over his shoulder to make sure Jessica wasn’t in earshot. He then leaned in so he could whisper to Sadie.   
  
“Look, this is serious. Just tell him if he asks that it’s about Terrence Wolf.” He didn’t wait for Sadie’s response – instead, he took off down the hallway so he could give Donna the same message. When he reached Louis’ office, a full-blown argument was in process.  
  
“DONNA! Where the hell is my dictaphone?” The honeymoon period was officially over. Louis’ roar made Mike jump from all the memories of his days in the cubicle. Donna needed to know that Jessica wanted to talk to her, but it wasn’t wise to interrupt when Louis was on a tirade. Mike hovered by the door out of sight until it was safe to come out.   
  
“Louis, you _know_ I don’t ever touch your dictaphone, we have this in writing.” Donna sounded exasperated; the dictaphone was a cornerstone in her employment agreement, and she’d have to be suicidal or have completely lost her mind to even consider touching it.   
  
“I always keep it in this very spot, and it’s not there! So someone must have moved it!” It wasn’t just the missing dictaphone. Louis was still getting used to Donna’s suggestion (and subsequent implementation) to cutting down his therapist sessions to twice a week instead of three times a week. She knew that it would be better for both Louis and his psychologist in the long-run, but in the short-term it had left Louis downright unbearable at times.   
  
“Are you implying that I’d violate our agreement?” Her voice dropped in volume dangerously. Donna could handle people’s mood-swings, but the one thing she would not tolerate was attacks against her professional demeanour.   
  
“Well, you already betrayed Harvey!” The second those words left Louis’ mouth he knew that he had made a huge mistake. Mike winced at Louis’ outburst - even he wouldn’t have dared to imply to Donna’s face that what she had done was a betrayal. But Louis had insecurities, even now when Donna was working for him. If Donna could leave Harvey, she could definitely leave Louis in the future. But it wasn’t the time nor place, especially when everyone was still feeling raw over the changes. With the exception of Sadie and Harvey, apparently.   
  
“Wait, Donna, I take that back!” It was too late. Donna was out the door, and she would have continued down the hall if it weren’t for her running into both Jessica and Mike.   
  
“Donna, I’d like and you and Mike to come with me right now.” Donna was still reeling from Louis’ accusation that she didn’t notice how guilty Mike looked as they followed Jessica down the hallway to the conference room. Mike, however, noticed how visibly shaken Donna seemed. She normally had immaculate composure, but she had been rattled hard. He knew she wouldn’t appreciate arriving at the conference room to see Harvey already waiting.   
  
Harvey wasn’t impressed at the arrangement either – upon sight of Donna entering the conference room, he was quick to his feet.   
  
“We’re not having this meeting now,” Harvey stressed to Jessica.   
  
“Sit your ass down, Harvey.” Jessica snapped. She was tired of him going behind her back and hiding things from him, and news of multiple visits from the DA did nothing favourable for Harvey. He begrudgingly took his seat. Donna took the furthest possible seat from Harvey, and Mike had to assume the spot in between them. At least she didn’t know about Rachel’s involvement in the case – the fewer people involved, the better.   
  
“I’ve brought the three of you here today to explain why the hell Terrence Wolf has been here so frequently in the past few months.” With Donna and Harvey barely speaking to each other, Donna upset from her argument with Louis, and Mike likely in the doghouse for spilling the beans, none of them felt like talking. Sadie slipped past in the hallway to sneak a peek at what was going on before continuing back to Harvey’s office. Across the floor, Louis unearthed his dictaphone down the side of his chair and his guilt compounded.   
  
Jessica anticipated that it was going to be a long morning, and she was prepared for that possibility. Between the three of them, it was unlikely that anyone was going to speak for a long period of time. As it had been proven that she didn’t know as much about the situation as she had initially thought, she was willing to wait for answers. As long as it took. She would get the answers she needed eventually. The real question was – who was going to break first?


	4. Goodfellas

“The three of you are not leaving until I get answers that I am satisfied with.”    
  
Under normal interrogative circumstances, Harvey would have been perfectly satisfied to wait until his companions broke first, but it wasn’t going to be one of those situations. If Donna told the truth, she would face serious consequences, and it wasn’t fair to Mike to expect him to explain the situation. He’d done enough damage anyway. Jessica had been slowly pacing the room, dwelling on how little she wanted to be in this situation where she had to play the school principal. But if significant events were happening under her nose and people were actively concealing them from her, she had to show that she had zero tolerance for such misconduct.  
  
“What did Mike tell you, Jessica?” Jessica wasn’t expecting Harvey to speak first. He sounded fatigued; this was not how he had planned to spend his morning, and he knew that it was going to have some form of unhappy ending. It just wasn’t yet clear for whom the meeting would hurt.   
  
Mike was all but slumped over; his chin was sitting on top of his arms which were resting on the table. His glumness was obvious, and he just wanted to get the hell out of there. He wasn’t sure who he was more worried about in that moment – Jessica for being involved, or Harvey for tattling. He glanced at Harvey nervously – it was hard to figure out whether Harvey was angry with him. Harvey was too busy glaring at Jessica to even notice.  
  
“Well, Harvey, all that I gathered from Mike was that Terrence Wolf has been here twice in recent months, and that you and Donna were the people to talk to about it.”  Donna was barely paying attention; her eyes were gazing at an invisible object across the room from her, and her mouth was downturned as if she was trying her hardest not to succumb to tears. She was still reeling from Louis’ accusation, and it was hard to focus on anything else.   
  
“I thought we operated on a ‘need to know’ basis,” Harvey argued. “There was a problem, it was dealt with, and we’ve all moved on.”   
  
“If there was an issue important enough that the DA felt it necessary to pay you a visit, I have a goddamn right to know.” She pulled a chair out from the table and sat down so that they were all on an equal level.  
  
“If the integrity of my firm is at risk, I _need_ to know.” Jessica stated with a dangerous calmness.  
  
“ _It’s not._ ” Harvey insisted firmly. _Okay_. If that was all the answers this line of questioning would extract, it was time for Jessica to try something different.   
  
“Donna, why did you leave Harvey to go to work for Louis?” Jessica wasn’t aware that it was a touchy question, and that it was likely to open up some ugly wounds. Mike buried his head into his arms, trying to block out the scene around him. He was envying the likes of Rachel and Sadie, who were blissfully unaware of the hell that was occurring in this conference room.   
  
Donna blinked through teary eyes in surprise of being addressed. She had completely missed the question asked of her.   
  
   
“What did you say?” she asked softly, breaking out of her reverie. It didn’t matter at this point what Jessica took from this meeting, working for Louis made no difference to the fact that   
  
“Donna, is there something wrong?” Jessica was unsure whether this was just a tactic to distract from her questions, but a rattled Donna was nonetheless unsettling.   
  
“I’m fine, I just have allergies.” Donna gave a sniffle. Over the years, working with Donna had meant that Harvey had a few behaviours and tendencies that had been ingrained into him. Most of them he’d been able to shake off since Sadie had become his secretary, but one still remained: the merest hint that Donna was crying made him incredibly edgy, and prone to punching things.   
  
“Jessica, let her go. She’s not needed here.” Harvey would be better to handle Jessica’s questions than Donna, and he was her superior at the time. All questionable actions were performed while he was in charge, and it was ultimately his responsibility. At least, that’s what he would have said had Donna’s case gone to trial.  Plus, he couldn’t trust himself to keep a level head while he knew Donna was in this state.   
  
“That’s not necessary, Harvey, I’m fine, honestly.” Donna knew she’d feel better if she came clean. Maybe she’d be fired, maybe she wouldn’t. She was tired of feeling guilty and conflicted over her decision to work for Louis. If she was fired, maybe Donna could finally be free of all the bullshit that came with working near Harvey Specter. But Donna also hated the thought of leaving Harvey for good. To the point where she didn’t even want to leave the room while he was still there fighting for her.   


* * *

  
**_12 Years Ago_** _  
  
_ “Alright, it’s time for your orientation.” It took several seconds of Donna proofreading a contract before she glanced up to see Harvey perched on the edge of her desk. She gave him a quizzical look as she put her highlighter away. Harvey was waiting with uncharacteristic patience for her to acknowledge him.   
  
“I’m sorry, are you talking to me?” Harvey’s statement had made no sense to Donna, and she wasn’t sure why he was bothering her with such nonsense when he had actual work that he needed to be doing.  Harvey shook his head disappointedly at her.    
  
“Your Robert De Niro impression could use some work.” So it was going to be one of _those_ days. She didn’t appreciate Harvey’s implication that she was underperforming in the acting department, and that was the first thing Donna needed to address.   
  
“That wasn’t my De Niro impression. If I was doing my De Niro impression, you’d be blown away.” Donna informed him, twisting her chair back and forth playfully. Harvey wasn’t even going to bother humouring her in her lie.  
  
“I know you haven’t seen Taxi Driver, don’t pretend that you know De Niro’s body of work.” Donna was clearly affronted as she recoiled slightly from her desk, folding her arms in defiance.   
  
“And how would you know that?” she challenged Harvey. He was actually correct in his assumption, but until she admitted it, it would stay conjecture. As long as he didn’t ask her to quote a specific movie, she could bluff her way out of this.   
  
“You don’t have a monopoly on knowing things,” Harvey informed her. “And it’s okay, I’ll keep your secret safe. But we _will_ need to fix that at some point if you want to keep working with me.”    
  
“What, are you going to give me homework?” Donna scoffed. She failed to see how a Robert De Niro movie would improve her job performance in any way.   
  
“Maybe later. But for now, there are some things we need to discuss.”   
  
“This is the second job I’ve had working for you, and we’ve been here for nearly a month now. I know you, and I know Pearson Hardman. What’s this bullshit about ‘orientation’?” Donna had picked up her highlighter and was holding it up as though she was threatening to go back to work if his answer didn’t satisfy her. Harvey plucked it from her hand and turned it over in his fingers deftly.   
  
  
“I need to talk to you about our expectations when it comes to loyalty.”  Donna raised her eyebrow with a lack of enthusiasm as she took the highlighter back from Harvey. She went back to her proofreading – his pointless agenda no longer interested her.   
  
  
“I _told_ you I’d take a bullet for you. Do you need a notarised affidavit from me as well?” Donna asked sarcastically, not taking her eyes off the papers in front of her.   
  
“This is more about my loyalty to _you._ I know that you’d stick your neck out for me, but that doesn’t mean anything unless you can trust me as much as I trust you.” Donna looked up at him in surprise. Did he think that she didn’t trust him? Harvey was the sort of person that she’d trust her life with. If that weren’t the case, she wouldn’t still be working for him.   
  
“Of course I trust you. Are you mistaking my constructive critiques for distrust?” Harvey rolled his eyes. Those ‘constructive critiques’ that Donna made were all too frequent, and most of the time he openly disagreed with her suggestions. Secretly, however, (and they both knew it) Harvey would always take it seriously and usually it would change his mind. Despite his superiority, he needed her to know that they were a team. In it for the long-haul.   
  
“No, but we’re going to face things in this job that will put us between a rock and a hard place. I’ll feel better if I’m assured that if something happens to you that you will always come to me first no matter what. Nobody else.” From experience, this was the closest Harvey ever got to being sentimental. Even if he was telling her in anticipation of some unknown threat to their working relationship, she knew that they had nothing to worry about.   
  
“Okay Harvey,” Donna replied to assuage him.   
  
“ _I’m serious.”_ The incidents at the DA’s office were still weighing on Harvey’s mind, and he couldn’t shake the feeling that one day they might face trouble. Donna didn’t seem to share his concern.   
  
“ _I know you are._ ” Donna mocked his insistent tone. “Are we done here?”    
  
“If you follow my golden rule, you’ll have nothing to worry about. _Never rat on your friends, and always keep your mouth shut_.” Harvey quoted to summarise his point. Donna gave him a blank look.   
  
“Robert De Niro? Goodfellas? What the hell’s the matter with you?” Harvey was astounded that he had hired someone who hadn’t even seen one of the greatest goddamn movies of all time.   
  
  
“And once again, you’re criticising my taste in culture. If you _really_ want to be sure that I trust you, then you can help me with this.” Donna pulled a stapled pile of papers from one of her desk drawers and tossed it on his lap.   
  
“And what is this?” Harvey asked, flicking through the pages with an air of suspicion.   
  
“It’s a script. I have an audition coming up, and I need someone to read lines with me.”   
  
“You’ve got an audition? Break some legs.” _Jesus Christ._  And he wondered why she never came to him about this?   
  
“I think you mean, ‘break A leg.’ You have so much to learn.” Donna took the script back from Harvey and rehoused it in her bag. She hadn’t expected him to take it seriously. But that was okay, because that was just who Harvey was. He’d always favour movies over theatre, and it wasn’t her place to fault him for that.   
  
“No, I mean ‘break some legs’ because if you take down your opposition, then you’re guaranteed to get the part.” It was hard to tell whether he really meant that statement, or whether he was bluffing his way out of getting it wrong. Of course he would equivocate the expression to actual injury.   
  
“You’re so _violent._ ” Donna admonished him, but it was in a (slightly disgusted) sense of admiration.   
  
“You don’t become the best associate here by simply _hoping_ that your opponent sucks.” Harvey pointed out. If anyone knew how to mentally prepare a person for an audition, it was Harvey. It didn’t matter that auditions were about acting. It had to be the same as preparing for trial, right?    
  
“No, you became the best associate by knowing that you’re the best and never doubting yourself.” Which Donna didn’t. In fact, she was already off-book with the script. The audition was merely a formality to pretend to give the other candidates a chance. Harvey ruled his domain, and Donna ruled hers. They were a good pair.   
  
“I _am_ the best,” Harvey agreed, grinning wickedly.   
  
“God, I should stop telling you that, your ego is becoming unbearable.”   
  
“You don’t tell me that _enough_.”   
  
“Well, do you really need reminding? We kick ass every single day. And that wouldn’t happen unless we both trusted each other. Is my orientation over now?” Harvey pretended to frown at her, but he hopped off her desk.   
  
“For now. But if you need me to help you break some legs, I’ll be there.”     
  


* * *

  
  
**_Present Day_**  
  
Donna still trusted him. Even now, when she had left him to go work for Louis. Even now, when he had offered her an olive branch and she had told him to keep it. Even now, when they were sitting in a suffocating ‘conference’ room when he was angry and she was all over the place. Even now, when she still loved him but he acted as if he didn’t believe her.   Donna knew what he was going to say to Jessica, and damn if she wasn’t going to stop him from making even more sacrifices for things that weren’t ever his fault.   
  
Mike really hated conflict. Sure, he was a lawyer, but that stemmed from wanting to help people and resolve conflict. He now realised that he would have preferred being directly targeted with questions by Jessica about this mess. Sitting in that room and listening to Donna and Harvey and Jessica was bordering on torture, and he just wanted it to end. So if he told Jessica about his part in the case, then maybe she’d let the other two off more easily.   
  
  
"Jessica, it was -" Donna started.  
"It really wasn't-" Mike began at the same time as Donna.   
"Goodfellas." Harvey interrupted the pair of them in a sharp voice.   
  
Mike already knew what this was referring to -  _of course he knew._ Mike and Harvey spoke in movie references as if it was another language they were fluent in. He promptly shut up as soon as Harvey cut in. And that's when it hit Donna just what Harvey meant. That Robert De Niro quote he had spouted at her all those years ago. She had promised him that she'd watch Goodfellas but had never gotten around to it. But she would always remember the quote. Donna was no Mike Ross, but each of the important conversations she'd had with Harvey she remembered as though they had occurred yesterday. And the conversation where Harvey wanted to make sure that they had each other's unwavering trust was one that would be etched into her memory forever.   
  
  
The fact that he'd then turned that quote into a code word for emergency situations was bordering on the ridiculous. Mike didn't seem surprised by this use of the code word, which indicated that he had been given the full lowdown on this code. It was something that she should have known, but evidently since her departure there had been new developments. Rachel would have to be her first port of call in this situation. Everyone who worked directly under Harvey would have been given the low-down. She wasn’t sure what hurt more – the fact that she didn’t already know about this, or that she wasn’t in a position where Harvey would have told her first.   
  
  
"Goodfellas?" Jessica repeated. Mike was silent, and he wasn’t going to say another single word until he had left the room. _Always keep your mouth shut._  
  
  
“Jessica, Terrence Wolf was here a few months ago because he wanted to charge me with intent to commit fraud for obtaining incriminating evidence for our Liberty Rail case. Harvey had no idea I did, neither he nor Mike told me to do it. But both of them worked their hardest to make sure that the charges were dropped. Which they were. It was not their fault, it was all on me.” Donna blurted out in a rushed confession. _Never rat on your friends._ Harvey sighed in frustration. He could have handled it without her confession, now what Jessica said next was anyone’s guess.   
  
But all Jessica did was nod respectfully.   
  
“Thank you, Donna. I take it your transfer to Louis was your punishment for your lapse in judgment. I will not punish you further. However, if I hear about any more activities of a similar vein, I will not be so forgiving next time.” Donna bowed her head gratefully at Jessica’s verdict.  
  
“I understand.”  
  
Jessica let out a long exhale.  
  
“Alright, the three of you may go. _Don’t_ let something like happen again, and _always_ keep me informed if you get involved with something serious. Do I make myself clear?” She received three nods, and they were dismissed. Donna was going to be the first out the door, but Harvey caught up to her and grabbed her wrist, gently pulling her aside.   
  
“What the hell was that?” he whispered angrily. “I had it covered.”  
  
“Goodfellas,” Donna replied with a sad smile. “ _Never rat on your friends_.”  
  
“And ‘always keep your mouth shut’, which you didn’t do.” Harvey was annoyed that she had both understood his code word, but disregarded it anyway. He was also still apprehensive about the fact that something had clearly upset Donna before she had entered that conference room.  
  
“Donna, listen to me. If you ever need me to, I am more than willing to kick Louis’ ass. Especially if he upsets you again.” This prompted a laugh from Donna, which was more than Harvey could have hoped for.   
  
“Thank you, Harvey. I trust you.” Harvey nodded meaningfully.  
  
“I know. And look, I was thinking. Are you free tomorrow night? We could get together and talk.” Donna had missed his company so much, and it was a very tempting offer. But she couldn’t do it the night he was suggesting.  
  
“Harvey, I have an audition tomorrow night. But how about the next night?”   
  
“An audition, huh? Break some legs.” Harvey replied with a grin. Donna rolled her eyes.   
  
“Shut up, Harvey.” Things were slowly getting back to normal. They were making fun of each other again, and Donna felt like a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Before she could leave the room and face Louis and his stupid missing dictaphone, Harvey had one more thing to say.   
  
“Donna. I’ll see you the night after tomorrow. I’ll swing by your desk at eight.” If Donna wasn’t a mature and sophisticated woman, she might have blushed at the setting of a meeting ( _not a date_ ). But instead, she gave him a professional smile, and proceeded back to work.   
  
  
  
  
  
Despite Jessica having dismissed them, she wasn’t finished with Harvey. Once Donna and Mike had safely cleared the room, she called out to her fellow named partner.  
  
  
“Harvey, can I speak to you for a moment?” Looking happier than he had all morning, Harvey swaggered back to the table where Jessica was still seated. She stood up to face him.  
  
“Why was Terrence Wolf here to see you the second time? I know that this had nothing to do with Donna, it’s common knowledge that the two of you are no longer working together.”   
  
“What? I don’t know. The man’s got a grudge, Jessica. He came in, trying to spin a bullshit story about needing to question Sadie.”   
  
“What about Sadie?” This had piqued Jessica’s curiosity, but she was careful to not show it. Harvey gave a careless shrug.  
  
“He claims she knows something about an incident. I don’t know, I’m not taking anything seriously until someone gets arrested.” Harvey was back on the defence, a position he knew all too well. Jessica knew that he wouldn’t volunteer any more information about Sadie, so she’d have to look elsewhere.   
  
“Okay, Harvey. Thank you.” Harvey left, and Jessica made a mental note to herself. Despite Terrence’s alleged grudged against Harvey, she knew the man was a professional. He wouldn’t turn up on Harvey’s home turf completely to antagonise him. There was something else going on, and she’d get to the bottom of it. Starting with a phone call to the DA’s office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because we all love a flashback scene every once in a while.


	5. Double, Double, Toil and Trouble

Louis had forgotten how much the associates’ office smelled of desperation and terror. It was magnificent. Every time he felt like Harvey had been busting his chops too much, he’d make his journey back to the original source of his power and show the fledglings who was boss. He always felt better after he’d instilled the fear of God into the associates; it was the perfect start to the morning. Louis was still riding his power trip when it occurred to him to make another stop to cement his sense of control for the day. His looming presence overshadowed Sadie’s desk.  
  
“I have a bone to pick with you.” Sadie was working through answering emails, and she made no effort to even look at up him.  
  
“What, Louis?” she asked irritably.  The two of them had an unusual relationship. Even though Louis was theoretically one of her bosses, any instruction from him had to be approved by Harvey first. But Harvey hadn’t yet arrived, so it was open season for Louis to confront Sadie on matters that had been troubling him.  
  
“I think the correct response when addressing your superior is ‘Yes, Louis, how can I help you?’”  
  
“Don’t you have your own secretary to harass?”  
  
“She’s not here yet. I know you did it.” It was unusual that Donna wasn’t already in the office, but this anomaly was pulled from focus by Louis’ vague accusation of wrong-doing.   
  
  “I have _no idea_ what you’re talking about.” Sadie and Louis had never been alone together in the same room before, but it was quickly becoming apparent to her that he was an uncomfortable man to be around.  
  
“Sure you do. I know you must have played lots of pranks at your sorority. But you’re not at college anymore, sweetheart.” Sadie wrinkled her nose in disgust and turned away from Louis’s disparaging gaze with a shudder. Louis wasn’t fazed; he’d evoked much stronger reactions from his associates in the past. But if he was to maintain a certain level of control in his job, he had to target his potential weaknesses. Louis could already sense that Donna had started pulling away, and he didn’t need another person undermining his authority.   
  
  
“You might think you’re hot shit, working for Harvey. But you need to remember the pecking order at this firm. As a named partner, I am your boss. And if I catch you near my office again, you’ll be out on your ass quicker than you can say Kappa Kappa Gamma.”  
  
“Once again, I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. And if you threaten me or call me ‘sweetheart’ ever again, I’ll report you for harassment,” Sadie added with a touch of vitriol. It was a threat that Louis had faced many times before, and usually he’d laugh it off. But messing with Harvey’s secretary ( _again_ ) would be completely foolish. Louis settled for scowling at Sadie, knowing that he’d lost that round. He vowed to himself that round two wouldn’t go so swimmingly for her.  
  
  
  
“Louis! You didn't have to camp out overnight if you wanted to see me, I'm not THAT popular." Harvey had just sauntered into the office, flashing his arch-nemesis a charming grin. But his grin dropped off his face when he read the room.  
  
“Is he bothering you?” Harvey asked Sadie, eyeing Louis with heavy suspicion.   Louis and Sadie exchanged glances. Louis could be put into a whole lot of trouble with just one word, but they had reached a temporary truce, and both of them knew getting Harvey involved would escalate the situation unnecessarily.  
  
“No, Harvey. He’s just bored because Donna’s not here yet and so he has no-one to play with,” Sadie’s tone was mocking, but Louis was grateful.    
  
“Well, where’s Donna?”  
  
“Same place Mike and Rachel are, it seems. AWOL.”  
  
“Are they not here, either?! What the hell are we paying them for?”  Harvey was away as quickly as he came. His patience was quickly wearing thin with Mike and Rachel; they had taken a few liberties recently to use work time for wedding-related activities. Harvey had let it slide the past few times, but he wasn’t going to let it become an accepted nor frequent practice. It was purely because he needed his team to be on board at all times and wasn’t because he had been harbouring all kinds of resentful feelings lately to those around him. Not at all. Louis had no further business with Sadie, and so he followed Harvey to solve the mystery around the notable absences.

 

The reason why soon emerged as the elevator door opened with the three missing employees. Mike, Rachel and Donna on crutches. Rachel was carrying Donna’s bag, and Mike was carrying six coffees which was presumably to make up for their late entrance. At the sight of a hobbling Donna, any thought of admonishing the three for their lateness quickly escaped Harvey’s mind.  
  
"Oh my God, Donna, what happened?" Louis was horrified to see Donna in an incapacitated state; it was a rare sight.  Donna gave him an exhausted glare that was part irritation, part shame.

 

"I slipped over at my audition and fractured my tibia." Harvey was torn between showing sympathy, and also expressing his amusement at the situation.  The crueller side of him couldn’t help but be delighted that this would make things more difficult for Louis.  


"When I told you to break a leg, I didn't mean it literally,” Harvey spluttered. Donna pointedly ignored him.  
  
“Why the hell didn’t you call me?” Louis accused. If Donna had been completely honest, she had explicitly argued with a number of hospital staff not to call him despite him being her emergency contact. But to say that would be less than tactful.  
  
“I called Rachel because I knew _you_ would laugh-” (Donna jabbed a crutch in Harvey’s direction) “-and I knew that you, Louis, would freak the hell out.” 

 

“Freaking out, why would I freak out? I’m not – I’m not freaking out, I’m just – _you can’t walk!”_  
  
“There it is.” Harvey said under his breath, grinning at Louis’ misfortune.  
  
“Don’t worry, Louis. I just need to stay off my feet for a while.”  Donna’s attempts to assuage his panic were proving unsuccessful.  
  
  
"You can't come to our business lunch like this! We had a table on the upper mezzanine! What the hell am I supposed to do?!” Louis was doing extremely well at reacting exactly how Donna had expected him to.

  
"I didn't slip over just to inconvenience you, Louis," Donna snapped. The sound of their arguing was music to Harvey’s ears. His mood had picked up to the point where he barely registered that Mike had handed him the coffees to jump back in the elevator with Rachel.  
  
“You may as well have stayed home! You shouldn’t be here like this!”  
  
“If I knew I was going to continue being attacked, then yeah Louis, I would have stayed home!” Donna had been willing to forgive Louis for the previous day’s accusations, but her patience was wearing thin.   
  
  
 As they were bickering, Mike and Rachel had taken a trip downstairs to fetch a wheelchair for Donna which she had decided to take along with her crutches. When they returned, Donna sighed with relief for the reprieve. She hobbled over to the wheelchair and settled into it. The drop in height only made Donna more determined to command respect from everyone.  
  
“Great. I’m going to go and do my job. Maybe, Louis, you should try doing the same without me holding your hand every step of the way.” She picked up her bag, dumped it in her lap and wheeled away with her crutches wedged precariously between the wheels. Mike and Rachel were tactful enough to quickly leave the scene. Louis was staring dumbfounded down the hall after Donna, who was already out of sight.  
  
“Glad to see it’s going well,” Harvey offered sarcastically, giving Louis a single pat on the back.  


* * *

  
  
  
As it turned out, Donna was surprisingly agile in the wheelchair the hospital had loaned her. The hallways of Pearson Specter Litt were wide enough that she could easily manoeuvre her way across the building, or people would go out of their way to help her. As one of the most respected (feared) staff members in the firm, assistance wasn’t hard to come by.  
  
Despite the relative ease for her to accomplish most of her daily tasks, Donna preferred to find a quiet spot in the filing room and keep her head down. Given the complete disaster of the past 24 hours, there were multiple people she wanted to avoid. She thanked her past self for already having organized Louis’ schedule to the point where he’d have to have lost all cognitive function to require any assistance with his appointments. Her day would continue to get more and more eventful, however.   
  
  
“Louis Litt doesn’t like me. He thinks I stole his dictaphone.” Donna’s ears pricked up. She was hidden behind shelves and tables, but she could still hear someone across the filing room – it sounded like Sadie. As far as Donna had been aware, the two of them had barely ever spoken. For Louis to have progressed to outright dislike meant that she had missed something crucial.  
  
  
“Well of course not, I wouldn’t be _that_ stupid! I simply moved it.” A laugh. Something about the laugh rubbed Donna the wrong way. She was still bristling from Louis’ misguided anger over his dictaphone, and to hear the guilty party laugh about it was mildly infuriating.   
  
“I’m learning a lot about the firm. I’m sure you’d find it _fascinating._ We’ll have to catch up very soon and I can give you all the juicy details.” Donna quietly grabbed her phone from the table she was seated at and turned the recorder on, but the conversation was practically over.  
  
“How about Monday lunchtime? Great…No, no, don’t be silly, I’ll come and meet you. Okay. Bye.” Donna heard the door open and close again, and she was alone with her thoughts again. Except this time, her thoughts were focusing on Sadie and what on earth she could be planning. Donna had to be careful about how she approached this. If she confronted Sadie with as little information as she had, it’d be too easy for her to deny it all – as well as tip her off that she needed to have her phone conversations elsewhere. If Donna laid low, she could potentially gather more information that would help figure out what was going on. Maybe she could finally save the day without needing Harvey to swoop in.  


* * *

  
  
Harvey had been doing a lot of swooping that day. Suddenly Donna was no longer alone in the filing room; Harvey was at her side.  
  
“Is this where you’ve been hiding all day?” he asked, glancing around at all the files. He didn’t tend to spend much time in the filing room. He even needed a minute to remember exactly where it was.  
  
“I haven’t been hiding, it’s just easier for me to be in one place, and I have to guard this fax machine from people who mistreat it.” Donna replied, resting a protective hand on the beeping contraption. The sideways glance Harvey gave the fax machine was one of suspicion. She knew he was experiencing flashbacks to his mailroom days.   
  
“I was going to ask if you were still free tonight.” _The meeting!_ It had completely slipped Donna’s mind. She wasn’t particularly looking forward to jabs at her expense over her leg and Louis. The audition and the previous day’s interrogation had left her emotionally drained.   
  
  
“I’m not going anywhere, Harvey,” Donna answered tiredly, gesturing to her leg. _Please, take the hint._ She needed sleep, she needed peace, and she needed to be as far away from Pearson Specter Litt as possible for a night. Not that she could go anywhere, but Harvey’s company would keep work near the front of her mind. It would be an evening of her debating whether to tell Harvey about what she had overheard.  
  
“Alright, I’ll come to yours then.” Presumptuous bastard. But with a sigh, Donna knew that it wasn’t worth fighting over. Harvey was already half way out the door anyway.  
  
“Fine. I can’t guarantee I’ll be awake!” she called out to him as a warning. The lower the expectations for both of them the better.   
  
“Then it can’t be any worse than usual,” Harvey teased over his shoulder. Donna couldn’t help but smile at him. Maybe the day would get better after all.  


* * *

 

 

It was the fourth time Harvey had ever been to Donna’s apartment. The godawful dinner party, the other time, and most recently when Harvey had told Donna that he loved her. And then promptly left. This fourth time would prove to be the most tumultuous of them all.  
  
If she was being completely honest with herself, Donna was secretly pleased that Harvey had invited himself around. The elevator in her apartment building was broken, and it was extremely useful to have him there to lug the wheelchair up the stairs while she carefully hoisted herself up on her crutches.  
  
Harvey had offered to take her up in the wheelchair as well, but in the poor lighting and the narrow stairwell, it would have ended badly for both of them.  
  
“You’re not _that_ strong, Harvey,” Donna said, shaking her head. “And _no,_ that’s not a challenge.”  
  
“This wheelchair’s light as a feather! Unless you’ve switched to drinking full-fat milk again.” Harvey joked, taking off his suit jacket and draping it over the back of the wheelchair. Donna surreptitiously glanced up and down his torso and arms, trying to gauge whether he’d be strong enough to carry her up to her apartment. Unfortunately, his long sleeved shirt wasn’t giving anything away.  
  
“Funny! Why don’t you shut your mouth and get climbing.” The wheelchair really wasn’t that heavy. Harvey had already dropped it off by her door and come back down in the time it took Donna to make it to the first landing.  
  
“Donna, this is just as painful for me to watch as it is for you.” Donna highly doubted that. But under no circumstances was she going to let him save her again. Even if it took all night to get up the stairs, one at a time.  
  
“If you want to help, you can carry my purse.” Harvey begrudgingly accepted, and slowly inched up the stairs with her at Donna’s pace. After five pain-staking steps, Harvey tried to persuade her to give in.  
  
“You know, it would be a win-win if you’d just let me carry you,” Harvey pointed out. He’d like that, wouldn’t he? He had a hero complex that rivalled Batman’s. Over Donna’s dead body would she let that happen.  
  
“Absolutely not,” Donna said firmly. “I am _fine._ ” They continued up the stairs in silence, broken only by the slow squeak of the crutches as the two of them ascended the stairwell. By some miracle they finally made it without collapse or argument. A sense of dread filled Donna as she realised that she’d have to go through the whole debacle until the elevator was fixed, but she tried to shake off that thought as she opened up the door.  
  
Harvey rested the wheelchair by the door, and Donna eased herself down onto her couch in utter fatigue, propping her leg up on an ottoman.  
  
“Wine?” Harvey asked, as he headed into the kitchen. Donna made a meagre attempt to get up, but failed miserably. _I better not,_ she thought, but the day had lasted too long and she was past caring.   
  
“Wait, Harvey, I’ll help you,” she said wearily, not convincing either of them.  
  
“Stay where you are. Aren’t you supposed to be resting?” There was a ‘pop’ as Harvey had located the corkscrew and a bottle of merlot. Donna fished around in her purse for the painkillers the doctor had prescribed her the night before.  
  
“If I take these with that wine, I will rest like a baby.” She shook the little orange bottle absent-mindedly. A good, long sleep was sorely tempting, but Harvey had already swapped the medicine for a glass of wine before she could even consider opening it.  
  
“They gave you Vicodin?! You can’t have these. I’m confiscating them. You’ll do more harm than good.”  
  
“Harvey, don’t pretend like it’s for my well-being. If you want to get high, go and talk to Mike. Those pills are mine.” Harvey gave her an admonishing look, but he relented and put the pills down on the coffee table.  
  
“That’s not funny,” Harvey told her, but his smile said otherwise. Damn straight.  
  
“You know what else isn’t funny?  Breaking my leg meant I didn’t even get the part, and that if I did, I wouldn’t be able to perform anyway.” Donna replied bitterly. She knew Harvey hated Shakespeare and that he would have been insufferable towards both her and Louis had she got the part. But Harvey seemed surprisingly sympathetic as he shook his head sorrowfully.  
  
“I’m sorry Donna. If it helps, I think I might have something that will cheer you up. Are you going to let people sign your cast?” Donna let out a laugh and shook her head in disbelief.  
  
“Do you want to draw on it, Harvey?” His impish grin was all the answer she needed. His joy was already making her feel better. She couldn’t possibly turn him down.  
  
“Have at it, Michelangelo.” She pulled a marker out from her purse and handed it to Harvey. He moved closer to Donna to examine where he was going to write. His eyes scrutinised her lower leg with an intense concentration that made Donna feel slightly giddy. He smiled triumphantly when he picked the perfect spot. Harvey started carefully writing from the top of the cast near her knee. It was one of the sweetest things she’d ever seen regarding Harvey Specter. The man who never showed weakness was bringing out his inner child. Donna couldn’t help but smile fondly at him. It was rare to see him like this.  But it wasn’t a drawing he was inscribing on her cast. He was writing something that looked lengthy and even systematic – so it wasn’t an inspirational quote, either.  
  
“Close your eyes,” he commanded, which made Donna blush. Had he noticed her staring at him?  
  
“Why?!” But she obeyed him anyway.  
  
“I don’t want you to see until I’m finished.” They sat in a content silence for a few minutes, Donna finishing her wine and Harvey scrawling away on her cast. She was so comfortable that the risk of falling asleep was considerable. To combat unconsciousness, Donna engaged Harvey in conversation again.  
  
“What are you writing? It better not be the Pearson Specter Litt bylaws or something dumb like that.” Donna only considered them so because they had little about workplace relations – meaning that her rule not to date people she worked with was only a personal rule, not entrenched in the rules of the firm. But Harvey didn’t need to know that.  
  
“Shakespeare, in full iambic pentameter.” Donna’s eyes fluttered open.  
  
“Harvey, _no._ ” The last thing she wanted immortalised on her leg for seven weeks was what put her in the predicament in the first place. She tried to wrestle the marker from his hands, but he held it out of reach.  
  
“ _I’m kidding.”_ Harvey reassured Donna, who was still trying to grab the pen. “I’m writing down my code words for you.” She stopped reaching for the pen, and Harvey continued to write on her leg. Leaning over him she could see that he was true to his word, and that she’d have plenty to read later on. She caught a glimpse of ‘ _Finding Nemo’_ and was sure in that moment that Harvey was making it all up as he went along.   __  
  
“ _When_ did you develop this?”  
  
“It was Mike’s idea. He claims that he wasn’t high when he came up with it, but then to most people he claims he’s a lawyer, so I’m not inclined to believe him.”  Harvey said matter-of-factly as he continued to write. _Jesus Christ._ She wished she never asked.  
  
“Well, I’m glad you trust me enough to let me in on your little secret.” She meant little by her words, but they made Harvey re-cap the pen and look up at her with confusion.  
  
“What’s _that_ supposed to mean?” Playtime was over.Donna sighed, inwardly kicking herself for her phrasing. He wouldn’t believe her if she blew it off – the subject of trust had been tested lately, and it was bound to come up sooner or later. There was no backpedalling from her comment, but she didn’t want to dump everything on him at once about Sadie and her potentially baseless suspicions. Donna instead started with a simple truth.  
  
  
“Nothing. It’s just - yesterday Louis said that I betrayed you, and it just hit a sore spot.”  
  
“He shouldn’t have said that.” Harvey replied quietly, slowly turning the marker over in his hands – it was like a cruel parallel to the conversation they had had about trust all those years ago.  
  
“But he was right.” _Deny it. Please deny it._ But he didn’t, which meant that Harvey agreed with Louis. There was still this unspoken impasse between them. He was still hurt by her leaving, and she was holding suspicions that she knew would push him away. Donna had hoped that it would be easier now that some time had passed and the smoke had settled, but there was still a long way to go before she knew that they would be how they used to be. If they could ever go back.  
  
God, she was so tired. In those moments, Donna didn’t care what anyone thought – she would give anything to just forget everything and hug him tightly for a long time. He was still so close to her; if it weren’t for her leg, she could have easily curled up to him without thought. It was yet another obstacle in their relationship. How pathetic. She set her empty glass on a side table, but she misjudged the corner – the glass tipped over the edge and shattered on the carpet, sending jagged crystals flying in every direction.   
  
After swearing from the fright, Harvey jumped up to find something to clean up the glass.   
  
“Just leave it,” Donna sighed. She pulled her good leg up to her chest, and squeezed her eyes shut. She could sense that things were about to turn messy, and she didn't want him finding excuses to avoid the impending conversation.   
  
“You can get new glasses, it’ll be fine. I just don’t want you walking around half barefoot when there’s glass everywhere.”  
  
“ _Harvey,_ ” Donna pleaded, and this time her tone was more urgent. He stopped and turned back to her with a perplexed look of annoyance on his face.  
  
“What the hell’s wrong, Donna? I’m just trying to help.” _I don’t deserve it._  
  
“Why are you here?”  
  
“Because I missed you,” Harvey shrugged carelessly, sitting back down beside her. She knew from looking into his eyes that he knew that wasn’t the answer she wanted. Neither of them wanted to address the elephant in the room about why they hadn’t been talking much lately.  
  
“Is that all?” _We’re going to have to talk about it sometime. Just push through it._  
  
“What do you mean, ‘is that all’?” He knew. Harvey was deliberately playing dumb. It was as though he was asking her if she was _really, really sure_ that she wanted to take their conversation in the direction it was heading. He was not going to make it easy for her. She would have to pluck up the courage to do it herself.    
  
“I mean, was I too naive to hope that you coming here meant that you were finally ready to talk about us?” _Shut up, Donna. You don’t REALLY want to talk about it now!_ Why was she doing this? Harvey had given her many chances to brush it under the rug, even if was for only a few more minutes of blissful denial. But Harvey had now adopted a defensive stance; bristling from her words as he leaned forward on the couch, away from her.  
  
"You think I don't trust you." Harvey said brusquely. Their pleasant evening was officially over.  
  
"I _know_ you don't trust me." Her eyes bore into his; daring him to confirm or deny it. Despite all her self-doubt, despite all the guilt she had, despite her reassurances to herself that she had made the right decision to work for Louis – none of it prepared her for the sucker punch that Harvey would deliver next.  
  
“You’re right, I don’t.”  


	6. Rumour Hans It

_“You think I don’t trust you.”_

_“I know you don’t trust me.”_

_“You’re right, I don’t.”_

 

* * *

 

 

The truth was inevitable. 

 

“What did you expect me to say? That I’m perfectly fine with you doing the one thing – _the one thing!_ – that I expected you never to do?!” Harvey had jumped back up from his seat as though he was physically incapable of taking such an injustice sitting down.

 

“Oh, so you just _expected_ that I would stay with you no matter what? Is this about trust, or is it about you wanting to retain control of every single little part of your life, including me?” Donna accused, bordering on livid. Her anger was as much because Harvey had adopted his lawyer stance as it was his words. Harvey was not a ‘que sera, sera’ kind of guy.  He had to be in control of the situation at all times, or at least think he was.

 

“Whether or not I expected you to stay, you’re not a part of my life anymore.” Was that too far? It was technically a fact – she no longer worked for him, and the two of them crossing paths happened infrequently (even if that was deliberate). But the way he had said it was so counter-productive. Maybe they were both stupid for not anticipating that any conversation about their relationship would descend into bitter argument, but if Harvey had known that he’d be spending his evening feeling like he’d rather spend eternity mudding with Louis he’d have gone home. 

 

 

And Harvey had had enough of these arguments to know and be ready for how Donna was likely to react to such a statement: the first of which was that she would get angry and argue back at him, saying that it was just as much his fault as hers. Possibly involve things being thrown at each other. The second option was being crushed by his comment with a side of waterworks.  He thought this was more likely when Donna seemed to deflate back into her seat at his words. But Donna chose the third option.

 

 

“Okay,” she replied calmly after about a minute.  She was staring blankly into a corner, but there was no sign of anger or tears. It was as though all emotion had drained from her body. This, more than anything, made Harvey uneasy.   He already had his rebuttal on the tip of his tongue, but her eerily serene response made him choke on it.

 

“But - did you even hear what I said?!” It was impossible to tell whether she had actually processed it, or whether it had yet to sink in. Donna broke her eye contact with the wall to look up at him. Harvey still couldn’t gauge any emotion on her face; her eyes were almost listless.

 

“You said that you don’t trust me, and that you don’t consider me part of your life anymore. And that’s okay.” There was a tell-tale crunch of glass as Harvey gingerly took a step sideways. They both heard it, and Donna saw him take a wary glance to the door.

 

“Are you going to walk away from me again, Harvey?” She let out a colourless laugh which sent chills down his spine. He walked slowly back into the living area and sat down across from Donna, watching her very cautiously.

 

“No, no, it’s fine, you can leave. It’s not like I can run after you.” It felt like a trap.

 

“Harvey, I’m happy you said that you don’t trust me. It shows that you’re not running from your feelings.” That sparked a twinge of annoyance in Harvey, although he tried to shake it off. If he showed too much emotion, it would feel like he had lost the argument. Even though Donna wasn’t exactly arguing with him.

 

“Why are you so calm all of a sudden?” he demanded. It wasn’t that he had wanted her to be hurt by his words, but – actually, yes. He _had_ wanted to hurt her. But only because he was hurting too. And to see that it had no effect on her was almost upsetting.

 

“You wanted to talk about us, and this is the first honest thing you’ve said to me all night. I don’t want for you to hide what you’ve been feeling.” When Harvey had imagined the conversation they were going to have about what had happened between them when Donna had left, he had hoped with all his heart that it would be civil and polite. Now that they were having this conversation, Harvey was starting to wish that they were still yelling at each other over it. This was unsettling. He hadn’t known Donna to have such a good poker face. She was normally the first person to tell him exactly where he could stick his distrust, and that he was being a baby and he should grow the hell up. But the Donna sitting in front of him was almost like a therapist. And it made him increasingly uncomfortable.

 

 

“If there’s something you want to say to me, you better goddamn say it. Don’t give me this bullshit.”

 

“Seeing as you apparently have the moral high-ground in this discussion, can I trust you to answer me truthfully?” _Oh, come on_. At least her acerbic tone gave Harvey an indication of how she was feeling – and that was mad as hell.

 

“Hit me.” _Not literally, of course_. He was remembering her recount how she had slapped Daniel Hardman twice.

 

“So, to you, I’m this ex-employee who you don’t trust, you feel betrayed you and you don’t consider me to be a part of your life anymore.” It wasn’t a pretty picture that Donna was painting, and the overall sum of her words was inaccurate, even if they were made from truths. But Harvey knew that she knew what she was doing.  The only other person in the entire firm who had had as much success in mock trials as Harvey was Donna. Even though she never played the part of the lawyer, Donna knew how it worked. Twisting what he said in order to fit her narrative.  This was her payback from the last time she was put on the stand in a mock trial. 

 

“Objection! Is there a question, your Honour?” Harvey asked sarcastically. He had never been more relieved that Donna was essentially immobile, because he was certain that in that moment she probably would have lashed out at him. Harvey knew this, because it was the exact same look he got in his eyes before he punched people. However, Donna had more restraint than Harvey tended to have, and she conceded to his objection and added a question to her statement.

 

“Am I correct in my evaluation?” she asked, albeit through gritted teeth.

 

“Yes.” Despite the fact that the subject matter was horribly raw and personal, it was almost morbidly interesting to see where her line of questioning would take them. They would get further if Harvey ignored the pressing need to contradict everything that was problematic in her statements.

 

“Okay, then. So, if you knew that you didn’t trust me, and that I’m not an important part of your life anymore -”

 

“I didn’t say you weren’t important, I just said that you weren’t really in my life anymore,” Harvey cut in. He couldn’t let them all slide.

 

“ _Let me finish_ ,” Donna fired back at him. “If you don’t consider me to be part of your life, don’t trust me, and are still mad at me for leaving you  - did you come here tonight, knowing all this, and expecting that we would have sex?” _Oh, fuck_. It was the sort of question that if it was asked of a client, he would advise them to not say a single word. Donna had learned from the best. Sure, he was angry with Donna for all the reasons she had efficiently laid out in front of them, but his ultimate goal had been reconciliation. But if he truthfully answered that question, it would cement her view of him as the unfeeling, cowardly asshole that she used to tease him about being.

 

  
  
“I’m not going to dignify that question with an answer,” Harvey replied with as much indignation as he could muster. His answer was indicative of one thing only. _Guilty as charged_.

 

“ _Get out_.” She could barely choke out her words, but the sentiment was evident.  

  
  
“We’re not done here!” Harvey insisted; over his dead body was he going to leave that as the last words of their argument. He wanted so desperately to defend himself, to convince her that _it wasn’t like that._

 

“ _Oh, yes, we are_.” Talk about something that they’d both regret! To have sex when clearly they were still at odds at each other made her no more than one of the countless women without names that Harvey would bed. The thought of that was sickening, and it made her feel worthless.

 

“I’m not leaving until we fix this. You _can’t_ just kick me out now,” Harvey’s tone was almost begging. It was reminiscent of the last two times he had pleaded with her, and both those times it was immeasurably difficult to hold her ground. But this time, it was easier to encourage him out the door.

 

“I’m not going to discuss my feelings until you trust me. And you obviously don’t, nor do you respect me, so I’m done talking.” Her voice was dangerously quivery; it was as much to ward off tears as it was to show Harvey that she wasn’t going to take his bullshit. She glanced down at the extensive list that he had written on her cast and turned her head away. It had turned sour so quickly, and they were still no closer to regaining what they had. But they were in no position to patch things up when their emotions were all over the place.

 

Harvey looked thoroughly displeased with Donna’s refusal to communicate any further, but he didn’t retaliate. He picked up his coat and made for the door, making an effort to slam it behind him. _That’s about right._ She didn’t feel any happier than he did about making him leave. But it would be worth it in the end. She hoped.   
  
  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
If Harvey didn’t trust Donna, then it didn’t exactly matter what she did to find out the truth about Sadie. She could pull out the stops and only limit herself to her own personal restrictions. She needed cold, hard proof about what the hell was going on. It was easier now that she didn’t have to worry about what she thought Harvey might say about her methods (“ _Wire-tapping, Donna, for God’s sake! Have you learned NOTHING?!”_ ). This had gone beyond trying to prove to Harvey that she was more trustworthy. She had to figure this out for herself.   
  
  
Donna tried to block _that_ evening from her mind in the following days. She did so by burying herself in work, trying to memorize plays she was unlikely to ever perform, and working on the mystery. In the process, she had purchased herself an expensive camera and was planning to use it to obtain evidence from within the firm. The best part about it was it was extremely quiet – she had learned that she could remain virtually undetected in her corner in the filing room when practicing getting shots from far away. Louis had let her set up shop there in the afternoons - under the guise that it was too difficult for her to keep wheeling back and forth throughout the building. It also meant that the chance of running into Harvey was practically nil.   
  
When it came to obtaining evidence outside the firm, it became a little more difficult in her state. But that was little to worry about. She also had a secret weapon. That secret weapon? Connections with a private investigator. Donna and Vanessa had been in contact for a number of years. Vanessa had also helped Harvey in a number of cases, but he had no idea that Donna knew about her – and she preferred to keep it that way. Donna had asked Vanessa to follow Sadie’s mysterious Monday meeting, as it would have been difficult to spy in a public place without being spotted. Her injury was proving to be a nuisance. That Tuesday afternoon, Donna was visiting a street-cart that sold falafel for some mid-work sustenance.   
  
  
"Oh, I love your shoes! Are they Italian-made?" Donna asked the woman who was waiting in line in front of her.    
  
"Oh, thank you! I'm not sure, actually, I'll just check - would you mind holding this for me?" Donna held her arms out so the other woman could pass Donna her jacket. The woman took off her shoe to check, and Donna handed her back the jacket, but a brown envelope still sat in her lap.    
  
“Nope! Made in France. Nice guess, though!” When the woman turned back to order, Donna slipped the envelope in her purse surreptitiously. Donna ordered her food afterwards, and wheeled herself off to a nearby park to eat. Vanessa sat herself down on the park bench next to Donna’s wheelchair.   
  
“Long time, no see,” Vanessa said, crossing her legs and kicking her foot with the French shoe back and forth. Donna shook her head woefully as she took a bite of her falafel.   
  
“I’m a little worried. Either something bad is going on, or I’m going insane. In either case, I’m not looking forward to the verdict.” It wasn’t in Vanessa’s job description to interpret her findings, but the person Donna had asked her to tail seemed to be up to some questionable actions, if Donna’s initial assessment was to be believed. But to express her concerns to Donna would be imprudent, given that anyone around them could be listening.   
  
“No wedding ring on your finger yet, I see.” Vanessa observed, changing the subject; she had known Donna for so long that it was almost acceptable for them to engage in a nominal amount of small-talk.    
  
“I’m married to my _job._ ”   
  
“Is that what you call him?” Vanessa asked with a smirk.  Donna rolled her eyes as she disposed of her trash in a nearby bin. However angry she was feeling at Harvey, such comments insinuating they could be an item still failed to aggravate her. And no matter how much she told herself that she was solving this for the greater good of the firm, part of it was to prove herself to him. Even if he _was_ a serial commitment-phobe. By the time she had turned around, Vanessa was already gone. It was time to go back to work.  
  


* * *

  
  
Although Donna and Harvey were successfully avoiding each other, the chances of running into people who worked directly with Harvey, however, were still extremely high. Donna was so focused on opening the envelope of photographs from Vanessa that when she glanced up and saw Mike standing across from her, she nearly had a heart attack.  
  
“Jesus, how long have you been standing there?” she exclaimed, trying to settle her heart rate, quickly covering the envelope with numerous folders.   
  
“Long enough. I didn’t know you were into photography!” It was days like these where Donna wished that Harvey had hired a less attentive associate. Especially one who was not engaged to one of her best friends.   
  
“I’m not,” she replied, shaking her head, and pretended to get back to work. _Take the hint and walk away._ Mike looked around at her set-up with her camera, case, and the suspicious brown envelope poking out from her other work with a sense of bemusement.    
  
“…then, what’s all this?”   
  
“Oh, I’m…dating a photographer.” It was a flippant comment that was a mistake the second it left Donna’s lips. The rumour mill at Pearson Specter Litt was brutal, and for Donna to voluntarily offer information that would make the rounds was completely senseless. She inwardly kicked herself, and this time pushed her camera aside and started working to avoid making any more careless remarks.    
  
“What’s his name?” _Why are you still here?_ Donna let out an exasperated sigh and put down her pen to give him full attention. It would make him leave faster.   
  
“What do you want, Mike?”  
  
“You’re dating someone, that’s awesome! Why didn’t you tell us?” _Because he doesn’t exist!_ And knowing Mike, it would get back to Harvey, which was the last thing she needed, especially as it wasn’t true. The problem was, now that she had invented this fake photographer, if she were to deny anything, he would push back harder. At least it gave her a temporary alibi, and she figured she could have a little fun with it.   
  
  
“Okay, kiddo, listen up. His name is…Hans.” A talented actress though she was, her improvisation skills left a little to be desired.   
  
“Hans?” Mike sounded sceptical, but it was because he had imagined that Donna would be more likely to date someone called Lawrence, or Antoine. Or maybe even Harvey, although he kept that to himself.   
  
“Hans…Christian…Andersen. It’s a name!” Donna snapped defensively. Mike’s scepticism increased upon learning the photographer’s last name.    
  
“As in, Hans Christian Andersen the author?” _Oh, no._ She had pulled the author of The Little Mermaid from her self-conscious. But until Donna admitted it, it could technically still be true.   
  
“It’s a very common name in Sweden!” she insisted with a shrug.   
  
“Well, he’s actually Danish,” Mike informed her. _Such a know-it all._    
  
“Have you even met him?”   
  
“Have _you_?” His inquisitive blue eyes were extremely piercing, to the point where Donna had to look away. Mike knew that Donna had not met this Hans person, because he was dead. This was probably an attempt to piss off Harvey, but Mike wanted to understand Donna’s angle. Her lack of response confirmed his suspicions.  
  
“But seriously, Donna, what’s in that envelope?” The truth was, Donna didn’t know yet, but she wasn’t about to say that she obtained them from a PI. She could answer part of the truth and let Mike in on the fact that she was suspicious of Sadie, or she could kick the rumour mill into action and drop a smoke bomb that would put him (and by association, Harvey) off her case.   
  
“They’re my nudes. From Hans.” Donna knew that she would regret it later on, but in the interim her lie was brilliant – Mike had no choice but to believe her, because if he turned out to be wrong, then things would get very messy very quickly.  Unless he called her bluff, in which case she’d be in trouble. But luck was on her side that day. The smoke bomb worked.   
  
“Why would you bring your _nudes_ to work?!” Mike hissed, sounding like a little child who was trying not to get caught swearing.   
  
“Do we really need to discuss the times you and Rachel have done the dirty in this very file room?” Mike knew he was defeated, and he didn’t argue her point. He was also slightly concerned about how Donna knew about these instances, but if there was one thing he knew about Donna it was to never question her methods.  
  
“So, am I telling Harvey, or am I not telling Harvey?” It was important that he stayed on the right side of Donna for the time-being. She probably had a whole lot more dirt on him, and he didn’t want to cross her path.   
  
“You can tell him whatever you like, I don’t care,” Donna replied loftily. She knew that whatever her wishes were, the news would get back to the wrong people regardless. As long as they were off her tail about Sadie, then it didn’t really matter. She would deal with the potential fallout from Harvey finding out at a later date.   
  
“That doesn’t help me!”   
  
“I _don’t care_ what you say to him. I really don’t. What I care about is you leaving me alone to do my work in peace. Can you do that?” Mike gave her a troubled look, but he obliged. When Donna was certain that he had gone and shut the door behind him, Donna grabbed the envelope to see who Sadie was meeting with the day before. The glossy photos in the envelope were of extremely good quality, and it was immediately evident who it was Sadie was meeting with. Donna had hoped that it was someone that she didn’t know, but the familiar face in the photo created the potential for an even bigger problem.   
  
“Oh, _shit,_ ” Donna muttered under her breath. Without further proof, how was she going to convince Harvey that Sadie was spilling ‘juicy details’ about the firm to someone – especially when that someone was none other than the District Attorney himself?


	7. Persona Non Grata

_**13 years ago**_  
  
"Your deposition hearing has been switched until Thursday at 9, you have a business lunch with Cameron Dennis at 1pm, and also you need to complete my employment assessment form before tomorrow," Donna informed Harvey, handing over a pile of papers with the blank assessment sheet on top.   
  
"Why don't you fill it out, and I'll sign it off," Harvey suggested hopefully. It wasn’t that he disliked paperwork  - it was that he _loathed_ bullshit paperwork. What he classified as ‘bullshit paperwork’ was on a carefully crafted scale, and it included any piece of paper that he had to complete which wouldn’t change a damn thing.   
  
"Because if _I_ fill it out, you'll have to explain to your bosses why you authorized a 200% pay increase for me." Donna knew how much Harvey hated paperwork, and under normal circumstances she would have filled it in on his behalf, but this particular employee assessment was more important than others – the District Attorney himself was up for re-election, and with every election came a restructuring of the department. Harvey (and by proxy, Donna) had little to worry about – but it would still look bad for Donna to complete her own employee assessment form.  
  
Knowing that he was defeated, Harvey picked up the form with a heavy sigh and skimmed it over.   
  
“Alright. Let’s do this now.” He sounded less enthused by this than by going to his dentist. It didn’t exactly inspire confidence in Donna that he didn’t immediately throw together a glowing review, but it would be easy to coax him into it. She sat down on the other side of his desk with an earnest wiggle.    
  
“You’re going to let me see what you’re going to say?”  
  
“This is so you’ll know what to write next time,” Harvey joked, picking up a pen.   
  
"I figured one word answers would make them believe that you wrote it,” Donna remarked with a shrug. Harvey pretended to look offended, but he cracked a smile and started writing.   
  
“ _Donna Paulsen has no problem insulting her superiors,”_ he began, but all he was actually doing was writing her name and other details on the form.   
  
“ _Harvey Specter has a fragile ego. Can dish it out but can’t take it,_ ” Donna mimicked his tone, grabbing a piece of paper and started writing her own assessment of her boss. She could then frame it, and give it to him as a Christmas gift.  It would help when his head needed to deflate. _  
  
“_ Strengths. Hmmm…” Harvey surveyed Donna up and down before putting an answer.   
  
“ _Bench presses about 65 pounds. Have yet to arm-wrestle with her for an accurate assessment of her strength_.”  
  
“65 pounds? Are you fucking kidding me?” Donna Paulsen was no weakling. She wasn’t a bodybuilder, but Harvey’s guess at her levels of strength was insulting.   
  
“Okay, 66,” Harvey conceded, crossing out his previous judgment.   
  
“I bet _you_ couldn’t do a keg stand without anyone holding your legs,” Donna retorted. This revelation distracted Harvey from the assessment. He stared at her in wonderment for a few seconds before his scepticism set in.   
  
“You can’t do a keg stand,” Harvey scoffed, leaning back in his seat. Donna raised an eyebrow knowingly.  
  
“I have amazing upper body strength,” Donna replied confidently.   
  
“I’m sorry, but I can’t take your word for it.” Harvey shrugged. She was offended that he didn’t believe her, until she realised the real reason he was contradicting her.   
  
“You just want to see me do one,” Donna accused. The opportunity to impress Harvey with something else beyond her job was tempting, but it would take an extremely unprofessional scenario for that to happen.    
  
“That’s exactly it,” Harvey grinned. Donna rolled her eyes, and tapped her pen on his piece of paper.  
  
“Focus! You have a deadline!” Harvey was still trying to picture Donna doing a keg stand, but he moved on to the next part of the assessment.   
  
“Weaknesses. What are your weaknesses?” Harvey looked up at Donna questioningly. Donna didn’t give him any indication of what to put. For once, he was completely stumped.   
  
“I’ll just put ‘perfectionist’, ‘works too hard’, ‘disobeys her superiors’…” At Donna’s unsavoury expression, he tried to justify his choice of words.  
  
“Well, I don’t know what your weaknesses are. You don’t let me see them. You know what _my_ weaknesses are,” Harvey pointed out.  
  
“Well, that’s my job. I’m _your_ assistant. I’m here to help you be a better lawyer, not for you to be my life coach.”   
  
Harvey cocked his head slightly to his left and gazed at Donna sincerely; the switch in tone of their conversation put her on edge. When it came to their job, she was fine with them being serious, but when it came to their personal lives, she preferred to keep it light-hearted.   
  
“You can tell me, you know. I won’t put it on the form.” His tone of voice made her feel like she was at a middle-school slumber party. She didn’t trust it one bit.   
  
“My weaknesses? Anything with chocolate, an Irish accent, and my right ankle,” Donna responded glibly.    
  
“That’s it?” Harvey was a little disappointed. He wouldn’t be able to put any of that on her assessment.     
  
“That’s it,” Donna confirmed with a nod. Any other weaknesses Harvey would have to figure out himself.   


* * *

  
  
**Present day**  
  
Donna stared at her right ankle resentfully.   
  
“This is all your fault,” she told it. If she hadn’t fallen in her audition, it would have been easier for Donna to follow up the incriminating photographs of Sadie and the Terrence Wolf. But she wouldn’t be able to figure it out by herself. With the revelation that Sadie was in close contact with the DA, she was torn as to who to approach first. Louis was immediately out; he already had somewhat of a grudge towards Harvey’s secretary, and she knew that he would up the ante and let Sadie know that they were onto her. Even if it wasn’t intentional. The confirmation that Sadie was the one to touch his dictaphone would be akin to arming a young child with an atom bomb. Especially when Sadie had done so to compromise the firm that he constantly battled for. But Donna was nothing if not a professional; she would at least inform him that he needed to be more cautious around Sadie, and his dictaphone.  
  
Donna had summoned Louis into the partner’s lounge when she was sure that Sadie was out helping Harvey with a client meeting. After a full night of pondering and deliberating over what on earth was going on, Donna had growing concerns that their offices might be bugged. Donna hadn’t been in the partner’s lounge since she had worked for Harvey (although she spent little time there even then) and she didn’t want to risk running into him just yet. She was still feeling raw from their last exchange, and his face was the last thing she wanted to see.   
  
Her best approach was to go with just enough truth so that Louis wouldn’t accidentally reveal to Sadie what was going on. She knew the best way to appeal to Louis’ ego and attitude towards the young woman.   
  
“You know Harvey’s new secretary?” Her voice was tantalizing with the promise of rumours. Louis usually considered gossip to be childish and petty (especially when it was about him), but if Donna was offering the opportunity to vent about the newest threat to his authority, then he was all ears. Louis nodded, intrigued. Her hook had worked.    
  
“I’m worried about her, Louis.” It wasn’t technically a lie, but the reasons why would be somewhat different from her true sentiments.  
  
“Why? What’s wrong?”   
  
Donna craned her neck to scan the room, making sure no-one was in earshot. When she was confident in her surroundings, she leaned in close to whisper to Louis.   
  
“I think she’s got a serious problem. I don’t want to say what it is, but there’s a few things you can do to minimise how her problem might affect us. Can you do them for me?” She was banking on Louis suspecting that the problem was that Sadie had kleptomania.   
  
  
“Okay, Donna. What is it?” She thanked her lucky stars that despite what Louis might have said to her recently, that he still trusted her implicitly. Or at least, he was the one person that trusted her more than Sadie.   
  
“You need to be more careful with your dictaphone. Don’t make personal comments about cases on it, and don’t let it out of your sight. In fact, it would probably be best if you avoided all discussions on things related to work and the firm on it for the time-being. Can you do that?”  
  
“Of course. Anything else?” Louis used his dictaphone more for his personal musings nowadays, and since it went missing he was more vigilant than ever. Donna’s request was an easy one.   
  
“Yeah. Just stay away from Sadie in general.”   
  
“Already done. Harvey’s weirdly protective of her. I’m free to give Mike a hard time, but the minute she crosses my path, I can’t set her straight because he’s already there telling me to back off.” From his bitter tone, Donna sensed that Louis already suspected Sadie in the dictaphone debacle. At least she wouldn’t have to worry about him giving potentially sensitive information where it would leave the firm, unless of course it was an accident. And Donna could only go so far to prevent such accidents.   


* * *

  
  
Her first instinct had been to approach Jessica about her suspicions. But to tell Jessica would mean that it would get back to Harvey (and Louis) without Donna telling them herself. Plus, there was the whole issue that she had no proof that she was comfortable with to present to Jessica, and she was in an unfortunate position where her word didn’t have as much influence or credibility as of late.   
  
The next option was to tell Harvey the truth. It wasn’t a particularly enticing idea. Given their last conversation, any accusation against his secretary was likely to be taken the wrong way. But he was the first person that she _wanted_ to tell. If it weren’t for the fact that Sadie was his secretary, she’d be going to him because he was the only person she trusted implicitly to fix it. She knew it was a bad idea, but she didn’t care.   
  
It had been a week and a half since their fight when Harvey stopped by Donna’s spot in the file room as if nothing had happened between them.  
  
“Rumour has it you’re dating a photographer.” _For God’s sake._ She was in no mood to defend herself, so she tried an evasive answer.   
  
“That’s what they’ve been saying,” she deadpanned. Harvey was the last person who paid attention to gossip. If anyone else but Mike had told him, he would have laughed in   
  
“Alright, I’ll rephrase. Rumour has it that you _specifically_ told Mike that you’re dating a photographer.” There was no mistaking his playful tone, but she couldn’t tell whether he was laughing at her or teasing her gently.   
  
“I didn’t think you cared.”  
  
“I don’t.” Why was it that Donna could always tell when he was lying, but he never questioned it even when she lied to him? It occurred to her that it was because he had always trusted her to the hilt, and that made her heart sink a little.   
  
  
As he sat down beside her, uninvited, she noticed that his tie was a little crooked. Half of Donna was glad that Sadie hadn’t taken it upon herself to fix it for him and had left him in a state of marginal disarray. The other half of Donna, however, was cringing and wanted to immediately reach up and fix it herself. But they didn’t do that anymore.   
  
“What are you looking at me like that for?” Harvey had picked up on her scrunching her nose at him; it made him oddly self-conscious. She flicked a finger upwards in the direction of his tie.  He angled his neck to glance down at his tie; he couldn’t see anything wrong with it.  
  
“What? It looks fine.”   
  
“Fine if you’re an unemployed philosophy professor.” Donna retorted.   
  
“I’d rather be a philosophy professor than a photographer.” Harvey replied, taking off his jacket and placing it on the chair next to him. Donna didn’t like that. That meant that he wasn’t just swinging by, he planned to be there for a while.   
  
“At least photographers tend to have a sense of style.” Harvey puffed up his chest defensively at the implication that he was dressed less than impeccably. It was remarkably satisfying to cause him offence.   
  
“There’s nothing wrong with my tie!” He gave it an absent-minded twiddle, which made it even worse. What was so aggravating about the situation was that he was normally extremely dexterous at aligning his tie. In the space of a week or two, his ability to dress himself had somehow thrown itself off the 55th floor.  
  
“Oh my God, you are _so_ infuriating sometimes,” Donna moaned, massaging her face tiredly with both of her hands. With all that was going on, she couldn’t believe _this_ was the conversation she was having. In that moment, they were in a parallel universe where she still worked for him and things were the same as they’d always been.  
  
“If you’re so annoyed by it, _you_ fix it.” Donna glared at him, not making any movement. Harvey tried to fix it again, but he was worsening the situation even further. Donna instinctively reached up and swatted his hands away.   
  
“ _The shit I have to put up with,”_ she muttered, focusing intently on the tie she was now adjusting and very intently _not_ focusing on Harvey’s face inches from hers. Out the corner of her eye, she could swear that he was grinning. She found the situation wholly unfunny. It was reflected in aggressive way she fixed his tie; smarter men would have sensed how close she was to choking him and backed away. Harvey certainly didn’t doubt that she was capable of doing so.  It was uncertain whether it was out of trust or a thirst for danger that Harvey ignored all these warning signs and left his life in her hands.   
  
  
Donna allowed herself to glance up at Harvey’s face. If he was grinning before, he certainly wasn’t now. His gaze was so intense that Donna couldn’t hold it for longer than a few seconds. It was his lips so close to hers that she now found herself focusing on. He moved his face the slightest bit closer to hers. _Shit._ Her fingers grew limp and she pulled away from him, leaving his tie still slightly askew.   
  
“Donna...” Harvey said gruffly; he was stinging with the sudden lack of her touch.   
  
“Are you _trying_ to piss me off? Of all the people you could have gotten to fix your tie, and you come to me,” Donna tried to laugh the tension off, but her unsteady voice betrayed her. She knew her cheeks were pink, and she started shuffling through the papers in front of her so she didn’t have to meet his eyes. She would have to re-sort them later, but it was better than the alternative - which was to acknowledge what had nearly just happened.   
  
“ _Donna..._ ” Harvey repeated, sounding a little more irritated. He couldn’t possibly be annoyed that she had stopped them from kissing, could he?   
  
“ _What do you want from me_?!” It came out louder than Donna had meant. She was lucky that the file room was otherwise empty, because it would have elicited stares. It was more than a simple question; it was anguish, it was anger, it was fear. And for once, Harvey didn’t shirk away from the question.   
  
“I want to move on. I’m sick of this bullshit where we don’t talk, we only fight. I know you’ve been avoiding me, and I want it to stop. I want you back in my life.”  Harvey Specter was her biggest weakness that she’d never admit. But she was trying her hardest not to succumb to her weaknesses. Her ankle had done enough. Harvey’s plea for them to move on made it almost impossible, but she managed to avoid the temptation. Plus, there was another obstacle.   
  
“We can’t yet.”   
  
“Why not?” It was time for the moment of truth. He had to know, and it had to come from her first. Even if he didn’t believe it. Which she still knew he wouldn’t.   
  
“Because I have a secret that you won’t believe me if I told you.” She could have lied and said that it was because she wasn’t ready, but he was going to have to find out sometime.   
  
“You _are_ dating a photographer?!” There was horror on his face, but even this lie would be easier than the truth.   
  
“ _No!_ God, no. Harvey, Sadie met with the DA last week. I think she might be working with him against us.” Donna watched him carefully for his response. His face was emotionless and he didn’t speak for about a minute.   
  
“Working with him how?” he asked finally. It was still difficult to gauge whether he believed her or not.   
  
“I don’t know.” Donna admitted. She was regretting not waiting until she had more proof, but it was going to be a difficult scenario no matter _when_ she told him.   
  
  
“And going against us in _what way,_ exactly?” _Oh_. It was mocking. He didn’t believe her. That was why they couldn’t move on. Harvey’s trust in her couldn’t be rebuilt overnight. When he trusted her enough to say _exactly how he loved her,_ only then would she let herself entertain the possibility. But they were still far from it, and the thought was aggravating.    
  
“I don’t know, Harvey, okay! I just know what I saw, I know what I heard, and I figured that I’d do the polite thing, and let you know first that your secretary might be a spy!” Donna trilled.    
  
“You’re out of your goddamn mind,” Harvey said, shaking his head and getting up from his seat. It was becoming a familiar sight. But she’d been expecting it. All it did was make her more determined to make sure that she was right.   
  
“I wasn’t asking you to condone what I’m doing, Harvey.” He knew now, and there was nothing more that Donna could do. Until she had more evidence. That was her next step.   
  
“Then why are you even bothering?”  
  
“So I can say ‘ _I told you so’_ later!” Donna had never wished harder that she’d be able to say that to a person. But it was going to take time.   


* * *

 

 

It was a cliché to say that being a workaholic was someone’s weakness, but at times it certainly could be Donna’s downfall. It was partially out of convenience, and partially out of dread of going home that Donna started sleeping at work on a frequent basis. Very little sleep was actually had on those nights, however. When she didn’t want to go home, she’d find a stack of paperwork to be sorted to make life easier for the associates (never had they had it easier), or on her more desperate nights she’d find a law textbook and try and channel Mike’s ability to ingest knowledge at lightning speeds. After the close call with Mike, she’d made the decision to leave anything relating to her investigation on Sadie at home, and even as she slowly acquired more information, it lead her nowhere. When she was stuck at home, it reminded her of how little she knew about what was going on. If she was at work, she could at least kid herself that she was getting something done. But not in the file room. After what had nearly happened there between her and Harvey, she was eager to stay away as much as possible.   
  
  
Donna had kept herself so wrapped up in work and her suspicions, that Louis’ innocent comment one day put her on the defence.   
  
“How did your doctor’s appointment go?” Louis had returned early from a consultation with a new client. His presence was surprising enough, let alone him knowing about her doctor’s appointment.   
  
“ _What_ doctor’s appointment?”  Donna knew about the appointment, but she had skipped it. It was scheduled during work hours, and she couldn’t bring herself to tear away from work to be told things that she likely knew already.   
  
“You didn’t go, did you?” She couldn’t quite tell whether he was worried or disappointed. Probably both. Either way, she had the overwhelming urge to vacate the room immediately, which was less than possible in her condition.    
  
“Louis, my leg is _fine._ ” Another secret weakness of Donna’s: she _hated_ hospitals. Her physician’s office was a lot cushier than the local ER, but it still had that smell that creeped her out. And there was the chance that if her leg wasn’t healing properly, then she’d have to get surgery.   
  
“Donna, I had a talk with Jessica. And we both agree that you should take a few days off so you can focus on your health.” She wasn’t expecting _that._ Even the idea made Donna feel sick.   
  
“What?! You never let Norma take a sick day!” Donna was half accusing Louis, and half pleading with him. The absolute last thing she needed was to be sent home from work.   
  
“And look how that turned out! Donna, I care about you, and you’re obviously exhausted. You’re doing nobody any good by staying at work.”  Donna clenched her hands into fists as she tried her hardest not to tear up. With only three hours sleep, waterworks tended to switch on more frequently.   
  
“Louis, I _need_ to stay at work.” Donna would go certifiably insane if she had to stay at home surrounded by her thoughts. But Louis misunderstood her plea.  
  
“Donna, don’t worry. We’ll manage. I’ve already told some of our clients that I won’t be in contact as much this week.”  
  
“When did you do that?!” Donna demanded. The thought of Louis going behind her back to do _her_ job was humiliating.   
  
“It was when you were sleeping in the library this morning.” _Oh, God._ She could have _sworn_ that she only closed her eyes for a few seconds. She didn’t want to consider how many people had seen her sleeping. At least it would take heat off the photographer rumour, which she had regretted from the instant she had invented him.   
  
“Talk to Harvey, he knows why I can’t leave work at the moment.” It was highly unlikely that Harvey would agree with Donna that she needed to stay at work, especially when half the reason was so she could keep tabs on his secretary, but she needed to stall. If Louis went and talked to Harvey, maybe she could sneak off and find another part of the building where she could do work. Donna needed to stay in the firm so she could continue to keep an ear out for gossip. It had been useful in the past, but she wouldn’t be able to benefit from home.   
  
“Alright, I’ll go and talk to Harvey now. But you really should take the afternoon off.” She did not argue as Louis started to leave.   
  
  
“Absolutely.” _Not._ But she was just about to depart her desk when the phone rang. She picked up the phone out of habit.   
  
“Hello, Louis Litt’s office?”  
  
She was still dealing with phone calls when Louis returned, this time with Harvey in tow. _Reinforcements._  Donna couldn’t believe that Harvey had agreed to do this, much less to do it for Louis. But then she remembered that he had consulted with Jessica and figured that Jessica had probably asked him.   
  
“Jesus, Donna, you look awful. Go home.” A typical Harvey response. Louis had tried to be sympathetic and appeal to that side of her to convince her to go home. But Harvey had no time for that. He was never the type to mollycoddle anyone.  Fuck them both. She wasn’t going to make it easy for them.  
  
“ _No,_ ” Donna snarled. They’d have to drag her out of the building kicking and screaming. She wasn’t afraid to make a scene. Hell, she thrived in it. But they had come prepared.   
  
“Okay, Donna, here’s the thing. Sadie’s at the courthouse right now, picking up your temporary trespass order. So either you can you home quietly, or we can have you arrested as soon as she gets back. Consider yourself persona non grata.” The moment knew that Donna really did need to go home was when she seriously considered getting arrested. If she got arrested, she’d be closer in theory to Terrence Wolf. But that was a step too far.   
  
“Okay,” Donna replied meekly. She picked up her bag, and started hobbling out the door in her crutches. She knew that the scene would have attracted attention, but she held her head high as Louis and Harvey escorted her out. Before Donna could get in the elevator, Harvey had something to add.   
  
“I’ll have Sadie swing by later with the paperwork.”  
  
  
“You son of a bitch,” Donna snapped at him. But it wouldn’t be until much, much later that she’d realise that by doing this, Harvey had sent her a gift straight to her door.   
  
  
  



	8. Special Delivery

In all his time at Pearson Specter Litt, Mike had had no idea that Sadie’s chair was so comfortable. It was even more comfortable than Harvey’s chair, which was a clear indicator that Donna had more control over what happened at the firm than Harvey did. It worried Mike the fact that Donna hadn’t taken the chair with her when she went to work for Louis; she must have been in a hurry to leave. That, or there was more than one chair like this in the firm. The lumbar support was _extraordinary -_ Mike suspected that this chair had been one of the sources of Donna’s power. The view straight into Harvey’s office probably helped as well. He had never fully understood Harvey and Donna’s relationship, but he suspected that the set-up of their workspace had an important part to play. The fact that Sadie had done very little to change anything at her desk suggested that she felt this power too.   
  
“What in God’s name are you doing?” Mike was rotating slowly in the chair, pensively contemplating the universe when he found Harvey standing right in front of him. Mike was quickly snapped out of his trance.   
  
“Waiting on the SOS call,” Mike replied in a knowing voice. After Donna’s eviction, Mike was willing to place a substantial amount of money on what he thought might follow.   
  
“From _who_?” If it weren’t for Mike’s completely lucid appearance, Harvey would have thought Mike was high.   
  
“From your secretary.” Harvey’s mind automatically went to Donna, even after the months that had passed. It only took him a second before he realised that Mike had meant Sadie, but he still felt a mixture of guilt and irritation at his subconscious.   
  
  
“ _Why_ would she be in trouble?” Donna’s suspicions were weighing heavily on his mind, and he couldn’t shake the urge to follow up on her claims. He didn’t want to admit that, which resulted in his defensive tone.   
  
“Do – do you _know_ what you sent her to do today?” Harvey didn’t appreciate Mike’s condescending tone.   
  
“If she can’t pick up a simple document from a courthouse, then I can’t help her.” Harvey replied curtly. Mike was about to retort, but a thought occurred to him and he changed his tone.   
  
“Are you trying to punish Sadie, or Donna?” he asked perceptively, leaning back in his chair and folding his arms.  
  
  
“I’m not trying to punish anyone.” Harvey said casually. Mike was, however, making himself the most desirable target. He wasn’t fooled by Harvey’s nonchalance.   
  
“So you think it’s a good idea to send Sadie to Donna’s apartment to interrupt the very reason why you sent her home?” Mike was still trying to figure out who would end up worse in the situation - Donna for being woken up, or Sadie for having to wake Donna up. His money was currently on Sadie as the underdog, but it didn’t seem to match up with Harvey’s intentions.   
  
“If she doesn’t deliver the trespass notice today, Donna’s going to think it’s a bluff and she’ll try to come back to work.” Harvey leaned against the wall of the cubicle; it was as though his balance was as weak as his attempt to justify the situation.   
  
“You _really_ think a trespass notice will stop her?” Mike knew to interpret Harvey’s jaw twitch as a suppressed smile. They both knew that if Donna wanted to come back to work, she’d find a way. But Mike hoped for everyone’s sake that Donna would wait it out. With another slow spin of the magic chair, Mike had another burgeoning question to ask of Harvey.  
  
“Hey – when did you get close enough to write our _secret code_ on her cast?” Harvey rolled his eyes and pulled away from the cubicle. He was not willing to engage with Mike on anything related to his visit to Donna’s apartment.   
  
“I told you about the can opener, it’s only fair.” Harvey pointed out.   
  
“Yeah, I still don’t get that. How can you – without first…?” Not even the Chair of Wisdom could help Mike gain any clarity on their ritual. It probably didn’t help that Mike was high when Harvey first explained it. In fact, learning about what they used to do prompted more questions than it answered.   
  
“I don’t have time for this. You should get back to work, too.” Harvey was about to leave but Mike extended his arm out to him in a desperate gesture.   
  
“ _Harvey_. Do you know if I can get one of these chairs for my office?”   
  
“ _Unbelievable,_ ” Harvey sighed, shaking his head and leaving Mike hanging off the edge of his seat.   
  
“How about I just assume that you slept together at some point?” Mike called after Harvey, hoping to provoke a reaction. Harvey kept walking; he had promised Donna that they would never speak of the other time again. To acknowledge it to Mike would be sacrilege. Harvey’s instruction to Sadie was to guarantee that he could attend his next meeting undetected, but Mike didn’t need to know that yet.   
  


* * *

 

  
Although Donna would never admit it, there was an upside to being sent home from work. The minute she got herself home her first stop was to collapse onto her bed. Sleep was the favourable choice over dwelling on her humiliation. And given the lack of sleep she’d had in previous days, it wasn’t hard to coax herself into inertia.   
  
Of course, it was not meant to be. After what felt like a few seconds following Donna closing her eyes, a thumping wrenched her from her slumber. She lifted her head for a few seconds, praying that it wasn’t her front door she heard.   
  
“Donna? Are you there _?_ ” _Ugh._ Sadie was the last person that Donna wanted to see at that moment. With all the willpower she could muster, Donna lifted herself off her bed, blinking a few times to clear her vision. She begrudgingly picked up her crutches and hobbled to the door, taking her sweet time in doing so. Sadie was almost about to leave when the door opened in front of her.   
  
“I was just about to leave and come back later,” Sadie said, relieved that she didn’t have to wait in the hallway any longer. Donna didn’t make any movement to let Sadie inside, however. She had turned her iciest stare on, and her silent disgruntlement made Sadie visibly uncomfortable. Sadie had for the most part gotten used to Harvey’s moods. Gone were the days of secretly crying in the file room (and Donna would know). But she didn’t know Donna anywhere near as well, and her obvious hostility was disconcerting. Sadie shifted her balance from one foot to the other.   
  
“Uh, do you want me to go?” Sadie asked, breaking the excruciatingly painful silence. Donna was considering her options. There was a chance that she could try and figure out what Sadie might be up to if she let her in. Given that Donna was forbidden from returning to work and Harvey didn’t believe her, this was probably her best chance. With a small sigh, Donna stepped aside and tilted her head slightly to invite Sadie in.   
  
“Thank you,” Sadie replied gratefully. Her arms were almost completely full with a number of folders and boxes. Donna pointed at a seat in her living room, and Sadie hastily relinquished her belongings to the coffee table and sat down.   
  
“Is that all the paperwork preventing me from going near the firm?” Donna asked dryly, settling herself down on the sofa.   
  
“No, a lot of this is some extra paperwork that I got given today to cover some absences,” Sadie tried to be vague about who they belonged to, but it was difficult to lie to Donna.   
  
“Are those _Louis’_ clients?” Donna asked incredulously. Louis had told her that the work would be taken care of, but he had failed to mention that he’d be passing it on to Sadie. Donna picked up the stacks of files and sat them beside her protectively.   
  
“You are _not_ getting these back,” she told Sadie coolly. Sadie did not contradict her. Instead, she reached into her handbag and pulled out a more official looking folder.   
  
“That one’s your trespass order.” Donna did not reach out to take it, so Sadie set it on the coffee table. It was partly because Donna enjoyed making Sadie squirm, and partly because Donna was close to falling back to sleep that she did not make any response.    
  
“So, uh, how long did you work for Harvey?” Sadie asked in an attempt to make conversation.  Donna squinted at her through bleary eyes. Sadie was leaning forward slightly in her seat, her feet dangling off the floor   
  
“I don’t know, 13 or 14 years,” Donna yawned, curling up horizontally on her couch with her bad leg sticking awkwardly off the side. It made her look completely ridiculous, but she figured little could top being trespassed from her own workplace. She yearned for the younger woman to take the blatant hint that it wasn’t a good time.   
  
“So you worked with him when he was at the DA’s office?”  Her question came a little more freely now that Donna was closer to unconsciousness. It made her a little less intimidating.    
  
“Use your brain, Sadie,” Donna moaned; she still couldn’t believe that Sadie was in her home in the first place, let alone asking stupid questions. But something jerked her awake when the question actually sunk in. She hadn’t been the first person to bring up the DA, and this put Donna on alert. Did Sadie know that Donna was onto her? It didn’t seem that way; the expression on her face made Donna realise just how young her visitor was – Sadie seemed so earnest.   
  
“Why’d you leave?” This one prodded Donna into an upright position. Sadie looked so harmless sitting across from her, but she was venturing into dangerous territory. Donna forced herself to remember the pictures she had and the conversation she had overheard. But it was difficult to reconcile them with the person sitting in front of her. Still, the truth about what had happened under Cameron Dennis’ reign was a touchy subject even all those years later.   
  
  
“Harvey resigned because he made a mistake with a file that was left out of discovery.” Technically it was the truth, and it safely glossed over the messy details.   
  
“Because his boss _buried_ the file?” Sadie said with a touch of uncertainty.   
  
“Are you asking me, or telling me?” Donna found it rather irritating that Sadie was filling in the gaps in the story she was telling.   
  
“Telling you. I read up on the case.” This admission put Donna on edge. It was possible that Sadie had followed the case out of interest, but the fact that she was also in contact with Terrence Wolf seemed too coincidental.    
  
“Then I guess you know that Harvey left because his _boss_ was willing to break the law to get what he wanted, and Harvey is better than that.” Donna replied firmly.  _But I’m not._ Her afterthought was a vicious barb in her side, and it turned her mouth sour. She started picking at a non-existent piece of lint on her sleeve.   
  
“Yeah, but why did _you_ leave?” Sadie was more insistent than curious this time. It was becoming clear that there was a certain answer that she was trying to pry out of Donna. Donna felt like she was back on the witness stand in all those mock trials. But in that arena, the lawyers were easy to predict and avoid manipulation. Sadie was a wildcard, and Donna had no idea what angle Sadie was aiming for.   
  
“I left because I didn’t want to witness the fallout.”  
  
“Is that why you left this time?” Donna’s heart skipped a beat. Sadie’s question hung in the air; this was the answer she wanted. _But why?_ She tried to think who the answer would hurt the most. To explain about the attempted fraud would put her in trouble, and to explain the whole ‘I love you’ situation was something she didn’t want to touch upon. Her only option was to deflect.   
  
“Who says I left voluntarily?” Donna countered. There was no judge there to order her to answer the question. That was her advantage. If she could turn the questions back on Sadie, she’d be able to salvage some answers of her own. Sadie frowned in puzzlement.   
  
“Why would he fire you, but allow you to keep working in the firm?” Sadie was right to be confused. The logic of that possibility was lacking. It was encouraging that Sadie’s tone wasn’t accusatory; it was genuinely mystified.   
  
“Have you asked Harvey about any of this?” Donna inwardly kicked herself as she realised that this should have been her first response to Sadie’s questions.   
  
“You think I should ask him?”   
  
“Yes I do. I really do.” Donna’s tone was daring. There were a few things that Donna hoped would happen in the instance that Sadie went to ask Harvey all these questions; the first of which was that he’d get pissed off that she was asking irrelevant personal questions and tell her to butt out. The second (which was more important, but also more unlikely) was that Harvey would cotton on to what it was kind of answers Sadie was trying to obtain, and hopefully start to believe Donna that there was at least something suspicious about his new secretary.   
  
“You know what? I think you should go now.” Donna said. It wasn’t a suggestion so much as an order.  Sadie took the hint this time. She picked up her bag and went to gather up the files that Donna had taken, but Donna put a hand on top of them.  
  
“Oh, I wasn’t kidding about these. If you get given any more of Louis’ client files, you will bring them straight to me. You are not to do anything with them in any way.  Understood?”  Sadie gave a desperate glance at one of the folders tucked under Donna’s palm.   
  
“But Donna, I just need- ”  
  
“I _said,_ you should go.” Sadie gave one last unhappy gaze at the stack of folders, but obeyed. When the door had shut behind her, the first thing Donna did was pull out the folder that Sadie had been looking at. It belonged to one of Louis’ clients, but there was a piece of paper tucked inside it. Donna pulled it out, and scanned it over.   
  
“Oh, come on!” she muttered. It was a partial list of the firm’s clients. Although it was privileged information, it wasn’t quite the damning evidence that Sadie was attempting to sabotage the firm. There had to be more evidence of what Sadie was up to. She couldn’t find the rest of the list in the work that she had been left, or anything else incriminating. It was back to square one. Only this time, she was forbidden from getting close to work. Donna rested her head back down on her sofa, and as she drifted off to sleep, she started brainstorming ways to get into the firm undetected. In her exhaustion, she had failed to notice a piece of paper that had slipped onto the floor sofa that would make her horrible day pay off.    


* * *

  
  
To put his mind to rest, Harvey was off to meet an old friend near the newsstand.    
  
“You thinking of running?” A voice made Harvey lower his newspaper. The voice belonged to a woman behind an issue of Time magazine. Harvey glanced at her sideways.   
  
“Run where?” The woman shook her head, with a knowing smile on her face. She closed her magazine and rested it on top of a shelf of chocolate bars.   
  
  
“Election season. Plenty of opportunity to crush the corruption. You look like a stand-up kind of guy,” she replied with a smirk.   
  
“Yeah, I stand for my principles; I don’t need to run anywhere with them,” Harvey informed her. But it appealed to his ego to think that he’d be able to run for office, and that was reflected in the grin on his face.   
  
“I’m surprised you wanted to meet me in daylight,” the woman said, breaking their little act that Harvey enjoyed far too much.    
  
“Well, Vanessa, desperate times call for desperate measures.” He pulled her payment from his pocket and handed it to her. Vanessa took the envelope and handed a quarter of the bills inside back to Harvey. He was surprised by this gesture.   
  
“Are you finally giving me a discount?” He re-pocketed the bills and waited for an explanation. “It better not be because you did a half-ass job,” he added jokingly.   
  
“No, the discount is because I already had some of the information ready for you.” The busy noise of the street masked Harvey’s troubled silence. He could tell from the look on her face that he wasn’t going to be impressed with her news.   
  
“Harvey, we haven’t spoken in several years and the first thing you ask me to do is to look into yet another attorney, this time an _elected official._ Don’t tell me you’re trying to take his spot.” Harvey gave a small shudder.  
  
“And give up my current pay check? No thank you. I wouldn’t be able to afford your services were that the case.” Vanessa did not smile at his comment. She produced an envelope similar to the one she had given Donna, only this time it was thicker. Harvey took the envelope somewhat hesitantly, making no move to open it.   
  
“Terrence Wolf is definitely up to something. He’s met with your secretary a few times in the past few weeks.” Vanessa told him regretfully. At this revelation, Harvey tore open the envelope and pulled some of the photographs out. As well as the meeting that Donna was aware of, there were several other instances where Sadie and the DA had been in contact with each other. It was difficult to determine the nature of their meetings from their expressions, but the fact that they had met without Harvey’s knowledge was already too much.   
  
  
“ _Shit_ ,” Harvey muttered. The picture that was of most interest to him was the one depicting Terrence and Sadie handing each blurred packages. If Harvey could figure out what was exchanged, then he could jump on the situation before any major damage was caused if it wasn’t already.   
  
“Do you want be to keep an eye on the situation for you? I’ve got word that they’re meeting again this afternoon at the Supreme Court.” Harvey shook his head, his gaze still fixed on the photos.   
  
“Goddamnit _._ No, I think I’ve got this for now. Thank you. ” He gave Vanessa a grateful pat on the shoulder as he slipped the envelope into his jacket and pulled out his phone.    
  
“Sadie? Have you been to Donna’s yet?” he barked at her over the phone.    
  
“Yeah, I’ve just got one more thing to finish before I head back to the office.” _Like hell you do._ There was no way that he would let Sadie attend that meeting.   
  
“Forget that. Get back to the firm now, I have an important package turning up in 20 minutes and I need you to sign for it,” he ordered, hailing a cab.     
  
“Uh…okay. Why can’t someone else sign for it?”     
  
“It contains privileged information and only you and I are able to sign for it. Can you do that for me?”   
  
“Sure. I’ve got you covered.” Harvey hoped that the lure of privileged information arriving would be a suitable bait to get Sadie back to the office as quickly as possible. Either she really _was_ up to something, and she’d want to be there to check the package herself, or she was innocent and she would follow his order because she was a professional. Harvey had never wished harder for someone to be in trouble with the law; he’d almost be relieved if it turned out she was in trouble for something like shoplifting. He would be able to fix that.  If he could do it with Donna, he could do it with Sadie, provided that she was loyal to him. The news about Sadie and the DA and the way he’d shot down Donna’s accusations left his head spinning. It was a lot to comprehend.  But in the meantime, he would take Sadie’s place and meet with Terrence Wolf himself. If there was one place to go to shed some light on the matter, it would be with him.

Of course, if Harvey or Donna knew what had slid under Donna’s couch after Sadie left, Harvey would be able to avoid the hazardous position he was about to put himself in to get answers.


	9. Poker Face

**7 Years Ago**  
  
  
Harvey Specter knew danger. It wasn’t the sort of danger that came from jumping out of planes, or running from wild animals – that relied too much on variables he couldn’t control. No, Harvey preferred the danger that came from playing other people to get his desired results. Even though he was an expert on reading people, there was always the thrill of the unknown that made it just difficult enough to make it fun. Especially when money was involved. It wasn’t the current danger he was facing, however; Donna was on the warpath and he was currently the closest emotional outlet.   
  
  
“This is the most ridiculous thing we’ve ever done. A partner’s retreat? I know what _that’s_ code for: ‘let’s waste everyone’s money and time on a field trip to play trust exercises and jerk each other off’,” Donna was not pleased with her predicament. She would claim that she was coerced into packing a bag and getting into Harvey’s car; it wasn’t far from the truth.    
  
“Jesus, Donna,” Harvey said with a disturbed glance in her direction.   
  
“Am I _wrong_?” Donna’s question was rhetorical, but she wanted to hear his answer anyway.   
  
“No,” Harvey sighed, as much as he hated to admit it. “You’re right.”  
  
“And why the hell do _I_ have to come to this thing, anyway? I’m not a partner!”  
  
“You’re _my_ partner. You’ve been an instrumental part of my success.” Donna rolled her eyes. It was far too obvious when Harvey was trying to suck up to her. It wasn’t going to work. Not this time.   
  
“I think I just threw up in my mouth,” she informed him. Harvey laughed; it was suspicious to Donna that he was taking it so well.  Normally she was the one who had to talk Harvey off the roof to even consider such pointless occasions.    
  
“Why are you so mad? You usually love these things!”  
  
“Because I had fifth row tickets to Cats that I had to cancel.” Harvey wrinkled his nose in disgust.   
  
“Cats? _Really?_ ” There were roughly a million things that sounded more appealing than that show, and that included waterboarding and being forced to do Housing Court cases for the rest of his life.   
  
“Do you even know who’s directing this season?”   
  
“I don’t care. Singing cats dressed in leotards? No thank you.” Harvey appreciated that he and Donna had differing opinions on what qualified as art forms, but Cats was one step too far. He had been under the impression that Donna had taste.   
  
“You’re saying this as though you’ve never seen The Lion King on Broadway.”   
  
  
“Well, I haven’t that one either.” Harvey figured it was basically the same thing, and he had no desire to see either. He could barely handle Shakespeare, let alone Shakespeare with songs.   
  
“Oh my God. _Oh my God._ Stop the car here; I’ll walk back to Manhattan.” Donna pretended to try and open the door, but Harvey reached out and stopped her. The only thing that would make the retreat worse would be if he had to do it without Donna there.   
  
“You can’t leave me. I need you to be there. We need to keep our eyes on the prize.” It was one of the only reasons why Harvey was complacent with going.

“That’s the problem; I know what the prize is, and it isn’t worth this pile of shit. We’re going to win anyway, so why don’t they save the trouble and just give it to us?”  
  
“Because that’s no fun,” Harvey replied, finding it hard to contain his grin. What Donna didn’t know yet was that they were about to have a whole lot of fun over the next few days.    
  
“But Harvey, it’s Jersey! Why did they pick New Jersey? Connecticut’s _right there_ ,” Donna moaned, leaning her head mournfully against the window. Harvey took the opportunity to watch her for a few seconds. He couldn’t wait for her reaction when he told her what he had planned.   
  
“To make it easier to sneak off to Atlantic City.” The thrill of playing hooky from work once in a while was another danger that Harvey liked to indulge in, especially when Donna was with him. Donna turned her head and her beaming smile was as rewarding as Harvey had been expecting.   
  
“Well, _now_ you’re talking!”  
  
  
*********************************************  
  
“So, what’s your game plan, Harvey Specter?” They were only a few sips into their complimentary champagne, but they were already feeling buzzed. It had less to do with the champagne and more to do with the excitement of their choice of detour.   
  
“Have you ever seen me play poker?”  
  
“No, I don’t want to have the mystique ruined for me,” Donna replied sarcastically, shaking her head.   
  
“Come with me.”   
  
Harvey had scanned the room and found a poker table that was surrounded by spectators. They stood a few steps back from the rest of the crowd, but they still had a view of the players at the table. The game was reaching a critical point where the winner was about to be revealed.   
  
“Alright, so it’s obvious that Eyebrows O’Reilly is gonna the first one to fold,” Harvey whispered confidently, gesturing to the man who was seated to the left of the dealer.     
  
“Nope. Definitely Big Ears McGee. He’s on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Newly divorced. I bet you that’s the last of the measly settlement he got from the proceedings,” Donna replied, indicating the man on the far right. She seemed so certain in her judgement that Harvey knew there was little point in contradicting her.   
  
Sure enough, the man with the sizeable ears let out a sigh of defeat and elected to fold.   
  
“How the hell did you know that was going to happen?” Harvey demanded.   
  
“You really thought this was my first time?” Donna gave Harvey a consolatory pat on the chest as she started walking away from the poker table.   
  
“Where are you going?” he called over her shoulder.   
  
“More drinks, and then I’m going to win big at roulette. I’m not watching more poker.” She wasn’t expecting Harvey to join her, but it pleased her when she could sense a person directly to her right. Without even looking, she called the bartender over and ordered a single malt in addition to her wine.   
  
“You don’t even play!” Harvey still couldn’t get over how she could so confidently call the results of the game.   
  
She held up her left hand and pointed to her bare ring finger.   
  
“Ring tan.” Harvey shook his head in admiration as Donna handed him his drink.    
  
“You really are something.” It was the second genuinely heartfelt compliment he had given her that night, and this time she couldn’t help but blush. It was hidden by the casino’s dim lighting, for which she was grateful. It was risky letting Harvey get too sentimental. All it did was make her consider the ‘what ifs’. It was a game that Donna preferred to spectate. Even when it was watching Harvey make poor attempts at sustaining relationships with women.   
  
“I know,” she replied matter-of-factly.  It would inflate his ego too much to know the full effect his compliments had on her. They found themselves a table to seat themselves at in view of the poker tables. The tables were long forgotten as they spent the better part of three hours laughing and slowly letting the stress of Manhattan melt away.   
  
“So, why do you play roulette instead of poker? That seems like a waste of money.”   
  
“Because once in a while I like to take a leap of faith. And you can’t win ‘em all,” Donna added with a touch of melancholy, gazing off across the casino.     
  
“What kind of attitude is that? I hope you’re not talking about the partner’s retreat. This isn’t meant to be an opportunity for you to practice losing.” Harvey Specter, the best damn closer in New York City. He never accepted defeatist attitudes, especially when it could bring him down.   
  
“Oh, I’m definitely not talking about the partner’s retreat. That’s different. Those sons of bitches are getting their asses kicked.” Given the surprise he had gifted her, the least she could do was help him crush the opposition.   
  
“Good, that’s what I like to hear.” And as he held out his drink to toast hers, she felt confident that he would _never_ let her lose. They always shared their wins. It was what made them such a good team.     
  


* * *

  
  
**Present Day**  
  
But with Donna’s absence, luck hadn’t been on Harvey’s side.    
  
  
The courthouse was swarming with journalists; Harvey hadn’t been paying much attention to the news lately, but he remembered something about a high-profile assault case that Terrence Wolf had been working on. Judging by the masses, the sentencing hearing was about to finish. He found space between two pillars and leaned against one, facing the street. All the people around him were looking in his direction back into the courthouse. It was as though his brief tenure as an Assistant District Attorney was only just behind him.   
  
“Are you here to congratulate me on my win, Harvey?” A voice from behind him asked. With a smile, Harvey turned to face his opponent.   
  
“Here? Of course not. I was thinking that old joint on Lafeyette Street.” _Minimize the risk. Find neutral territory._ Outside the doors of the courthouse was a bad place to start threatening the DA. If it needed to come to that, of course. Harvey wasn’t about to go all in when he could still make Terrence fold early on in the game. The bar he was referring to was one that he used to frequent when he worked for the DA’s office. It was also the same place he met Donna for the first time. It made him feel like she had his back despite her absence. He was sure she’d appreciate her going to the DA to find out the truth for her. For _them._  
  
  
“You really like sticking your nose in where it doesn’t belong, don’t you?” Harvey didn’t mince his words with any useless small talk once they were seated with their drinks.   
  
“What are you talking about, Harvey?” Instead of appearing affronted by the accusation, Terrence almost sounded amused. If Harvey had paused to consider why Terrence had reacted in such a way, he wouldn’t have showed his hand too early.   
  
  
“I’m talking about Sadie. I know you’re in contact with her. I’m here to tell you to back the hell off.”   
  
“The last time I wanted to talk about her you said, and I quote: ‘go fuck yourself’,” Terrence pointed out as they received their drinks.   
  
“You think I’d really sit on my hands and let you get to her behind my back?”  
  
“How do you know she didn’t come to me?” Terrence posed the question in a philosophical way.   
  
“I _know_ she didn’t.” _He’s bluffing._   The thought that Sadie went behind Harvey’s back after he directly told her not to was inconceivable. Terrence shook his head disappointedly. The hesitation before Harvey contradicted Terrence was far too revealing.    
  
“This is becoming a frequent pattern, isn’t it? Your employees going behind your back? Although I suppose if you don’t even _ask_ them what’s going on before making assumptions, then I can’t blame them.” The grip Harvey had on his glass was just a _little_ too tight, whilst his grip on the situation was slipping away.   
  
“You better tell me right the hell now what’s been going on between you two, I swear to God-” Had Harvey already thrown the game? He was certainly losing his cool.    
  
“Why don’t you just let her go?” Terrence knew he had the upper hand, and he was enjoying the emotional rise he was getting out of Harvey.   
  
“Because I protect my own.” The guffaw that Terrence was infuriating. But he forced himself to try and remain as calm as possible. It wasn’t easy.   
  
“If she can’t even confide in you about legal matters, then are you sure she’s one of your own?” Terrence wasn’t just referring to Sadie now. He didn’t know the exact circumstances surrounding Donna’s departure, but he knew enough to prey on Harvey’s insecurities. He let the question hang in the air before graciously moving on before Harvey could respond with any form of attack.   
  
  
“Do you know who I just sent to prison today?” Harvey gave a noncommittal shrug as he tried to retain a calm front. Harvey tried not to dwell on what went on at his old workplace if he could help it.   
  
“I’m sure you’ll tell me anyway,” Harvey remarked, nursing his glass of scotch.     
  
“Her ex-boyfriend. Miss Clifford saw him after the assault. She could have been charged with harbouring a fugitive, but she cooperated fully with the prosecution and we protected her. I’m only disappointed that she didn’t see fit to tell you.” Terrence’s tone of false concern was grating.   
  
  
“I think you’re full of shit,” Harvey countered. If he was on the verge of folding, he was going to make damn well sure that Terrence wasn’t bluffing first. Terrence’s smile broadened.   
  
“And I’m sure you thought Ms Paulsen was smarter than to commit a felony, didn’t you?” Harvey’s eyes flickered across the table as doubt clouded his mind. _That was different._ She had done that to help him, even if it had backfired. In Harvey’s silence, Terrence reached into his briefcase and pulled out a familiar looking package. There was no hiding the recognition in Harvey’s eyes as the envelope was placed on the table.   
  
“It’s an affidavit signed by Miss Clifford, which helped me in my case today. I suggest that you get your facts straight next time before you make yourself look like a fool.” And before Harvey could punch him in the face, Terrence waved the barman over to pay for the drinks. Harvey stared at the envelope that was the root of the mess.   
  
“You can open it. I know you think I’m bluffing.” Harvey had played that same trick many times over the course of his career, so he was going to make sure that Terrence wasn’t lying to him.    
  
Sure enough, it was an official statement that Sadie had made, and not anything more nefarious.  Terrence was metaphorically sweeping the chips off the table into his coffers.   
  
It was twice now that Terrence had delivered the sucker punch piece of information that had been withheld from Harvey, making him look inept. Two times too many. It was unwise to keep playing. The deck had been stacked against him, and the house had won.   
  


* * *

  
  
“The package didn’t arrive, do you need me to contact the courier?” Harvey’s livid march down the hallway almost sent the papers on Sadie’s desk flying.   
  
“Forget that. We need to talk. Shut the door.” It was not unlike the times he had told Donna to come clean about something that she’d strategically withheld from him. The parallels were not lost on him, and all that did was fuel his anger.    
  
“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t fire you right now.” Harvey had been intending to start as calmly as possible, but he was still inwardly fuming from his disaster of a meeting with Terrence Wolf, and Sadie had played a huge part in that. He was no longer in the mood for any games, least of all ones of deceit and secrecy.   
  
  
“ _Fire_ me? What did I do?!” Harvey was pacing around his office agitatedly, but he stopped to face her and stare her down so he could be sure she wouldn’t lie to him.   
  
“Were you _ever_ going to tell me that you helped the DA convict your ex of assault?”  
  
“I didn’t think you needed to know,” Sadie said hotly. It wasn’t the truth that Harvey wanted to hear.     
  
“ _Didn’t need to know?!_ ” Rachel had been walking down the hallway towards Harvey’s office, but upon hearing his explosive response she swiftly turned and went back the way she had come. But curiosity got the better of her, and she paused to try and hear what was going on.   
  
“I told you _specifically_ not to talk to Terrence Wolf without consulting with me. And what do you do? You go behind my back! And what’s more, you do it during work hours!”   
  
  
“I only ever went in my spare time! And I didn’t want everyone at work to know my business!” Sadie had her arms crossed defensively, and she was backing ever so slowly towards the door.   
  
“How am I meant to trust you when you obviously don’t trust me?” It was meant for Donna. She had been weighing so much on his mind lately that it got mixed up in his conversations with both Terrence and now Sadie. But his trust for Sadie was shaky now as well.   
  
“You’re my _boss_ , this was my problem to fix. Not yours.” Something about this struck a chord with Harvey. He turned away from Sadie to gaze out the window; he had no response to give. When Sadie realised that their conversation was over, she exited the office and made her way down the hallway as quickly as possible, avoiding eye contact with Rachel as they she passed her. If Rachel hadn’t overheard their argument, she would have sworn that the grimace on Sadie’s face was a smile of relief.   
  


* * *

  
  
Since Donna had been ordered home, she had failed to make an effort to organise the files she had made Sadie hand over. They were scattered around her living room from Donna having gone through them so many times - to the point where she could almost recite them from memory. _Eat your heart out, Mike!_  But all the clutter did was remind her how her life had been a mess lately. That had to end. She gathered up the stacks of folders to create the illusion of tidiness. A couple of pieces of paper escaped and sailed down to the floor beside the couch. Donna sat down on the edge of the couch and shifted her bad leg so she could reach down and pick them up. In the process, she noticed something poking out from underneath the settee. It was a pile of pages stapled together. She pulled it out, wondering what it could be. When she realised what she was holding, her mouth went dry and her face paled.  
  
“Goddamnit,” Donna whispered. It was obviously not intended for her eyes, but she couldn’t help but read through several of the pages. After several minutes of being completely transfixed by the document, Donna realised she had to act immediately. She stood up and hurried as quickly as her leg would allow, hobbling around her apartment as she grabbed her bag and keys, the document tucked securely under her arm. But when she opened the door, there was someone waiting on the other side.   
  
“Rachel!” Rachel had finished with her classes for the day, and she had decided to make a detour to Donna’s before going into work.    
  
“Are you going somewhere? I can come back later if you’re busy.” Donna weighed up the situation, before concluding that an hour or two wouldn’t make a difference. Plus, Rachel had arrived with fresh baking that Donna could not refuse.    
  
“No, it can wait. Come in!”   
  
“Was that for work? I can take it in for you. You don’t need to breach your trespass order.” Donna rolled her eyes as she closed the door behind Rachel. She went into the kitchen to find a plate for the mini-muffins that Rachel had brought with her.   
  
  
“I don’t know _why_ they went as far as a court order. I would have listened if Louis had just asked me nicely to go home.”  
  
“No you wouldn’t,” Rachel grinned. “You would have turned up to work the next day, feigning amnesia that he asked you. And _then_ you’d leave him questioning whether he even said it in the first place.”   
  
  
“You shouldn’t be giving me ideas,” Donna joked as she made tea for her guest. The two of them hadn’t caught up in a while; in Donna’s avoidance of Harvey, it had extended to those who worked directly beneath him. She hadn’t realised how much she’d missed Rachel’s company.   
  
“Do you feel rested at least?” Rachel asked as they settled in the living room with steaming mugs of camomile.   
  
“If by ‘rested’ you mean ‘out of my goddamn mind with boredom’, then yes, I am extremely well-rested,” Donna replied acerbically as she rested her mug on a coaster.   
  
“I’m so sorry.”  
  
“It’s not your fault. I was working longer hours than the first year associates, it was probably good for me,” Donna conceded. She had been stupid to make the mistake of sleeping at work and she had paid dearly for it.   
  
“I didn’t think you were that busy, what’s been going on?”  
  
“I wasn’t. I was trying to distract myself. Harvey and I had a fight,” Donna said delicately. Rachel sensed that it was a sensitive matter that Donna didn’t want to discuss. But Rachel had some news that she hoped would cheer her up.   
  
“He’s been in an awful mood lately. He yelled at Sadie the other day.” _Ahh, sweet schadenfreude._ It was almost like the old days where Harvey was burning through secretaries like flash paper. She found it encouraging that he no longer considered her the golden child, especially given what Donna had just discovered had been sitting under her couch.   
  
“Oh, why was that?” Donna glanced at her bag, where she’d hastily stowed the document she was holding earlier.   
  
“She failed to tell Harvey that she was asked to give evidence against someone the DA was prosecuting,” Rachel replied, shaking her head. _Wait, what_? That news didn’t match Donna’s intel, but there was something that she was clearly missing.   
  
“How did he find that out if she didn’t tell him?”   
  
“He had to find out from Terrence Wolf himself.” Donna’s heart skipped a beat. Unless   Harvey had to have followed up on Donna’s suspicions. It seemed completely uncharacteristic to the way he had completely dismissed her accusations.  
  
“Why was he talking to Terrence Wolf?” She didn’t want to hold her breath that Harvey had gone to follow up on her suspicions; maybe there was a case that he, Mike and Rachel had been working on.   
  
“I have no idea. None of our clients have any business with the DA’s office.” Donna couldn’t think of any other reason why he would have talked to Terrence Wolf. But it failed to explain why Harvey hadn’t then immediately told Donna that she was wrong, which was unlike him. Unless it was because he didn’t want to admit that he had taken her accusations seriously. Donna pulled her good leg up close to her chest and wrapped her arms around it protectively.   
  
“What a mess. The sooner I get back to work, the better,” Donna mumbled darkly. Rachel gave her friend a sympathetic smile.    
  
“You know they did this because they care about you, right?” Rachel’s reassurance provided Donna very little consolation. It was because they both cared so much that Donna was even in this position in the first place.      
  
“This would all be so much easier if they didn’t care at all.”   


* * *

  
  
But that wasn’t the case. Despite all that had happened, Donna cared about Harvey, and she wasn’t about to let him be fooled by his secretary. It had been several days since Rachel had visited Donna, and Donna was finally ready to put her plan in action. Part of her delay had been because she was waiting until she visited her doctor, who had armed her with a moon boot. Now, Donna could walk around properly instead of relying on crutches and wheelchairs to get anywhere.   
  
But even though she was trying to help Harvey, he inadvertently complicated her plan with a single phone call.

“Donna, where the hell are you? I’m outside your apartment.” Donna could have screamed. It had been _days_ since the two of them had spoken, and now he decided to turn up at her home unannounced. It was almost as if he _knew_ what she was planning.   
  
“I’m at the grocery store!” Donna winced as she waited for Harvey to see through her lie.   
  
“Which one? I’ll swing by and give you a ride.”  
  
“Harvey, honestly, that’s a bad idea, I’m all the way uptown right now.” Donna craned her neck to look up at the tall building that cast her in shadow. As she did so, her dark brown wig slipped over her face. She cursed quietly as she tried to adjust it one-handed.   
  
“Harvey, I might be a while. Let yourself in, you know where my spare key is. I’ll call you when I’m on my way.”  
  
“No rush. I’ll be fine,” Harvey told her.   
  
As she hung up, she let out an exasperated sigh. Her errand was already going to be stressful enough without the worry that Harvey was at home, essentially putting her on the clock. Although as she thought this through, another thought occurred to her. It actually helped her. Sneaking into Pearson Specter Litt would be marginally easier with one less person to potentially recognise her. Plus, Donna Paulsen liked a little danger herself. And it was her turn to make sure that Harvey didn’t lose in the end.  


	10. Just Desserts

  
It was the greatest role Donna would ever play, and her success depended on no-one ever knowing she played it. Despite the serious matter of why she was about to break into her workplace, she was exhilarated by the prospect. It helped that the eventual outcome was extremely desirable as well. This wasn’t going to be a repeat of the Liberty Rail debacle that she tried to forget. Pearson Specter Litt was _her_ domain. She belonged there. And unlike with Liberty Rail, she didn’t have to falsify another identity (no, _portray_ ; she was an actress, not a liar) to achieve what she needed to do. Attention was her worst enemy today.   
  
  
The first step was the costume. She knew that security and staff alike were on alert for a woman who was using either crutches or a wheelchair. It didn’t match Donna’s current description; her cast adjustment allowed her to walk unaided, and at reasonable pace thanks to two days of practice around the block. She had found a black pantsuit in her wardrobe that with some adjusting and sewing skills could fit one of the legs over her bad leg. The other foot wore a flat-heeled but nonetheless stylish boot that looked similar enough from a distance to give her enough time to walk away before anyone scrutinised her legs more closely.   
  
The security on the ground floor were easiest to get past during what she had dubbed on her plans ‘The Changing of the Guard’. Even more so when their eyes were trained to look for a woman with long red hair. When she saw the first guard leave his post to end his shift, Donna swept by, giving his replacement a wink. He smiled back. His untrained eyes failed to notice that the cute woman with the dark brown bob actually got her hair from a costume store. Just as Donna had planned. She stepped into the elevator, and allowed herself a gleeful little laugh as she prepared herself for what came next.   
  
Game face on. Donna pulled out a folder from her bag and started examining it very intently, keeping her head down as she made her way to Jessica Pearson’s office. This was the riskiest part of her mission, which was why she put it first. Jessica had been negotiating a settlement for a client for the past half hour. This usually meant that either she would be out for another forty five minutes, or that it would be wrapping up within ten minutes. And Donna wasn’t quite the gambler that Harvey was. Her aim was to be in and out as quickly as possible.   
  
  
She was armed with multiple copies of the document that Sadie had left behind in her apartment, and Donna was intending to put them in different places across the office. No more secrets. Soon, everyone would know what Harvey’s secretary was up to. In an ideal world, it would be Harvey himself that would uncover the truth first, but she wasn’t picky. It would get to Harvey soon enough. Even if Donna had to hand deliver the dossier herself.   
  
The document almost scared Donna a little. She knew the minute that she picked it up that it had to be dealt with. Addressed to Terrence Wolf and signed off by Sadie, it detailed information on cases, clients and other sensitive information that was restricted to the firm. But what was unclear was the intention of the document. Was it part of a job application? Or was she working undercover like Donna had guessed? At any rate, it was one heck of a lie that Sadie had been feeding her boss, and Donna was going to put an end to it. Her first stop to Jessica’s office was to try and locate Sadie’s personnel file to see if there was anything that would link her to Terrence Wolf.   
  
No-one paid any mind to her as she went through the hallway. The route she took was one that she had walked hundreds if not thousands of times over the years. It wasn’t until she got to the door of Jessica’s office where she started to feel a little apprehensive, but she tried to shake the feeling off. She wasn’t Donna Paulsen, a woman who had no business that day being in the firm, let alone Jessica’s office. She was _Donna frickin’ Paulsen_ who was going to get to the bottom of this and save the firm. From experience, she knew exactly where to find the personnel files that Jessica kept on hand; in a drawer behind her desk and slightly to the left.   
  
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” Louis’ booming voice frightened the living daylights out of Donna, and she clumsily dove to the ground to hide. Thankfully, Louis was still yards down the hallway out of sight of Jessica’s and his exclamation was directed at what sounded like a naïve associate.   
  
“You were going to give this to Jessica? Over my head? Un-goddamn-believable. This is garbage. You’re gonna walk yourself right back to the library and you’re going to find yourself something called a dictionary. Do you know what that is? And then I want you to pick it up, and beat yourself over the head with it. And _then,_ you can start this over from scratch, and then you will give it straight to me before you even think about giving it to Jessica. Got it?” Definitely an associate. And from what it sounded like, both the unknown associate and Louis went back in the direction from whence they had come. Donna gave it a few seconds to guarantee that no-one was about to come back and find her with her hands deep in Jessica’s files.   
  
It was a longshot, but Donna had to try it anyway. She opened the drawer, and sure enough it contained personnel files. Only on a small number of employees, however; Sadie’s was missing. It was likely to be in Harvey’s office somewhere. This meant that Donna could get out of Jessica’s office immediately. She climbed back to her feet and cautiously made her way to the door to check if the coast was clear. There was no one who was looking in her direction, so she slipped out the door and pretended to bury her head in her smoking gun.   
  
She bypassed Louis’ office, and it gave her an idea. It wasn’t part of the original plan to leave a copy in Louis’ office, but in Donna’s absence she figured that Sadie had probably been in and out of his office multiple times in recent days. Another place where Sadie could have plausibly left her by-law breaking betrayal. With a satisfying smile, she slipped a copy in between some documents in Louis’ in-tray.   
  
When she got close to Harvey’s office, it was disconcertingly empty. Donna already knew that Harvey was absent (waiting for her to return), but Sadie’s absence from her desk was unexpected. Donna had been ready to make a fake phone call to get her away from her desk, but Sadie being absent meant that she had no idea how much time she had before facing being caught. At least she had the advantage of knowing the ins and outs of Harvey’s office and where to leave things without losing any seconds to hesitation. One to his second desk drawer, three tucked in different case briefs that Sadie had just finished proof-reading, and a copy tucked in the newspaper that he would glance over with a glass of scotch if his day went well. That would depend on how things played out when she got home.   
  
The temptation was strong to plant one in Sadie’s desk, but she knew she had done enough. It was lucky for Donna, because if she had looked more closely at Sadie’s desk, she would have been likely to commit a more violent crime. Violating a trespass order was enough illegal activity for one day. Now she could go home and wait for the inevitable fallout, and Sadie would finally get just what she deserved.   
  
But she wasn’t out of the woods yet. Just as Donna was about to step into the elevator, the dry-cleaning slip from Donna’s blazer fell out of her pocket. Unfortunately for her, a familiar face had arrived in the elevator to return it to her.    
  
“Excuse me ma’am, you dropped your – _Donna_?!” In a panic, Donna yanked Mike back into the elevator and slammed the emergency stop button once the doors had closed. She was regretting letting her guard down before she left the building. _A rookie mistake._ But of all people to recognise her, Mike was the most favourable option.    
  
“What are you doing here?!” Mike hissed, instinctively glancing around the empty elevator to ensure they were alone.    
  
“I’m not here. You _didn’t_ see me. _Understood_?” Donna still was still gripping Mike’s tie, tugging it as she emphasised her words. He winced and she reluctantly released him.   
  
“This is illegal! You’re not meant to be here!” His first statement was technically true, but the second statement Donna considered to be arguable. She found it slightly hypocritical that he was the one to lecture her on illegal activity.   
  
“Do you really want to go there, Mr Harvard Hotshot?” she asked him with mock innocence.  
  
“Come on, Donna, you know that’s not fair.” Mike had thought that he was finally safe from having to worry about his past transgressions, and he considered it a low blow for her to bring them up again to defend her own behaviour.   
  
“Who said I was fair?” None of what had happened lately was fair. Harvey’s failure to talk about his feelings, her broken leg, the restraining order. None of it.    
  
“ _Everyone._ You’re the one who sets Harvey on the straight and narrow.” The present tense stung. Mike was supposed to say that Donna _used_ to set Harvey on the straight and narrow.    
  
  
“I’m not talking about this anymore. I hereby implement Fight Club.” Donna said, staring very hard the button panel in the elevator. The use of Harvey’s code was enough of a distraction. What Donna really needed was to make sure that Mike wouldn’t tattle. Then, and only then would she allow the elevator to start moving again. In the meantime, she would try and use his language to coax him into doing as she asked.   
  
“Donna, this isn’t a Fight Club situation. You can’t just ‘implement’ it whenever you want.” As much as Mike respected Donna and the way she knew people, she sometimes just didn’t quite get it when it came to films. Let alone the code that he and Harvey had spent a long time cultivating.    
  
“You’ve already violated rule number one. You’re not getting another word out of me on the subject.”    
  
“I can’t believe he _told_ you the code. That was meant to be secret,” Mike lamented, shaking his head sorrowfully.    
  
“You’re such a child,” Donna replied, rolling her eyes. He didn’t appreciate Donna’s lecture when she was meant to be the one in trouble.   
  
“Oh, _I’m_ the child? You’re the one who sneaked into the building looking like a Bond villain!”    
  
“First of all, I shouldn’t have been in a position where I had to sneak in at all. Second of all, I’m doing this for the greater good. You have to trust me.” Mike’s suspicious eyes were fixed on Donna’s wig.   
  
“Does Harvey know you’re here?” _Donna, please don’t tell me that you’re doing something that will make him mad._ If Harvey knew what Donna was doing, then Mike would feel better about the matter, despite the illegality of the situation.   
  
“This is _for_ Harvey.” She stared him down. Donna knew one of the few things that Mike would allow would be if it were to help Harvey in some way. Even if he didn’t know about it.   
  
“That doesn’t answer my question.” He didn’t break her stare, but his expression was far more troubled than hers. He knew that if Harvey found out that Donna was doing something else illegal behind his back, then he wouldn’t take it well. Especially given what a mess he had been in since Donna had left. Mike was used to people being evasive, but Donna’s answer all but confirmed his suspicions.   
  
“Would you really want to know if I was breaking the law behind Harvey’s back?” Plausible deniability had rarely worked for Mike in the past, but in this case it was definitely preferable to the alternative. No matter what Mike could claim, he knew that if Harvey found out Harvey would consider Mike to be a culpable accomplice.  Especially after what had happened with Liberty Rail.   
  
“No…” The less Mike knew about any illegal activity, the better. He had never asked to be privy to anything between Harvey and Donna, and he wasn’t about to start now.   
  
“Good.” Donna hit the emergency button again, and the elevator finally started its descent. Mike would have to take it all the way back up again, but that was the least of her worries as she stepped out, finally satisfied that she had completed her mission.   
  
“You’re mean as a brunette!” Mike called after her as the doors closed on him.  


* * *

  
  
To ensure her cover wasn’t blown, Donna had stashed her wig in her bag, and made one hasty trip to the grocery store so she didn’t return home empty handed. She was mainly picking up food for dinner, but she figured that she and Harvey could celebrate Sadie getting what she deserved with some frozen yoghurt. Even if Harvey didn’t quite know it yet. Dessert was the perfect celebration.  Harvey wasn’t alone when she arrived home, however. He was seated at the table opposite the one person that Donna had been working to thwart. So _that’s_ where she’d been! The sight of Sadie sitting at her kitchen table made her feel nauseated.   
  
“What are _you_ doing here?” Her voice was just a _little_ bit too high-pitched for her attempt at happy surprise to be believable.    
  
“Donna, it’s okay,” Harvey stood up to ward off any impending fights. He could see through Donna’s fake glee, and he knew it could turn ugly. Donna could throw a punch when she had to, and Harvey had it on good authority that Sadie could be scrappy at the best of times. He didn’t want to risk it getting violent.   
  
“I thought you came alone,” Donna said; her mouth was all smiles, but her eyes meant death and they were directed exclusively at Harvey.   
  
“Actually, Donna, I’m not staying. I just wanted to grab those files I left with you,” Sadie said a little nervously. Donna knew what the real target was. After her (mostly) successful mission, she was more than happy to oblige. She stepped into her bedroom to grab the files, and managed to slip the original copy of the report back where it came from. That way, Sadie’s guard would be down until the truth was uncovered.   
  
“Did you get through them all?” Sadie sounded earnest, but it was obvious to Donna that she was gauging whether Donna had found the incriminating information.   
  
“No, I didn’t get around to it! I decided to take a break for a few days.” Donna had absolutely no problems lying to Sadie.    
  
“Oh, I’m glad. I’m happy to see you’re feeling better.” They both exchanged smiles that didn’t meet their eyes. Sadie’s from worry, and Donna’s from a degree of hatred. Harvey wouldn’t claim to know _everything_ about women, but he knew enough that Sadie and Donna’s polite conversation troubled him more than if they’d started brawling there in the kitchen.   
  
“You better get back to work, Sadie.” It was as much for Harvey’s piece of mind as it was for Donna’s sake. Sadie took the hint. The door closed, and it was as though the entire room breathed a sigh of relief. Donna dropped her cheery façade and swapped it for a sullen glare directed at Harvey as she seated herself at the kitchen table. Her melting yoghurt didn’t taste anywhere near as sweet now, but she continued to irritably stab her spoon in and take mouthfuls anyway. The second carton sat untouched on the table.   
  
“Is that for me?” Harvey asked, gesturing to the second carton. It was a rhetorical question, because it was his favourite flavour and he knew that Donna rarely bought that flavour for herself.   
  
“You don’t deserve it anymore,” Donna replied, sliding it away from Harvey.  
  
“Is that so?” Donna glared at him for a full minute, before pushing it back in Harvey’s direction and finding him a spoon. She couldn’t let it go to waste, and she had to remind herself that Sadie would hopefully be gone for good in less than 24 hours.   
  
  
“You let her in my house. You _know_ how I feel about her!” Donna said, swallowing a mouthful of cookie dough. “Why are you even here?” she added irritably.   
  
“Your radio silence was a little strange. I just wanted to make sure that you were still alive. And there was something I had to tell you in person.” _Oh, no._ Donna knew what he was about to say, and she had to pretend like what he told her was correct. She set down the yoghurt and spoon, and gave him her full attention.   
  
“I spoke to Terrence Wolf,” Harvey began, looking at Donna with a very grave expression. She did not speak; she didn’t trust herself not to make a sarcastic comment or something that would give the game away before he found out himself. The whole point of her mission had been so that Harvey found out the truth himself, or at least so it looked like Sadie had incriminated herself.   
  
“You were wrong about Sadie. She was meeting with him because she was a witness for one of his cases. ” Donna bit the inside of her cheek to contain her retort. But the thought of him finding the truth out the next day was encouraging enough for her to stay in character.   
  
“I know you were sure, but her story checks out.” He still wasn’t gloating. It was a far cry from the way he had mocked her when she had first told him her suspicions.   
  
“You don’t sound too pleased about it.” Donna finally found her tongue.   
  
  
“Because she lied, but it wasn’t to hurt me.” Harvey’s brow was furrowed slightly; his reaction was hard to gauge. It was as though he was questioning Donna – _was that the same reason why Donna had lied to him_? He seemed lost. Donna finally looked away. The actual truth would crush him. For the first time that day, she realised that the reveal might not be as jubilant as she had been hoping. Harvey took betrayals hard, and he did seem to actually like Sadie. He continued to explain why he wasn’t beaming over his supposed victory.   
  
“I understand why you didn’t tell me about what happened with Liberty Rail. I know you were trying to help. I should have been more understanding.” Oh, God, Harvey was jumping the gun. It was _great_ that Harvey had gotten his head out of his ass and was ready to see Donna’s side of the story but he was just one day too early.   
  
“Harvey, _stop.”_ Donna put her hand on top of his to cut him off. Her voice was unexpectedly shaky.  She didn’t think it was fair that he told her all this when there was one last secret that he had yet to discover. Donna would let him make up his own mind once he found out about Sadie.   
  
“Harvey, I know what you want to say, and I’m going to give you the chance to say it, but can you trust me and wait one more day?” To Donna’s surprise, Harvey smiled at her request.  
  
“You know about the dinner.” _What?_ She certainly knew nothing about any dinner plans. _  
  
_ “What dinner?”   
  
“The dinner to celebrate your return to work tomorrow.”  
  
“ _Tomorrow?!”_ Did Harvey _know_ what she had been doing all afternoon and that Sadie would be out? If so, then Mike had a _lot_ to learn about not being a snitch.   
  
“Didn’t you read your trespass notice? Today’s the last day.” _Son of a bitch._ If Donna had waited one more day, she’d have been able to plant the documents without having to worry about breaking any laws.   
  
“That would mean I’d have to acknowledge its existence.”   
  
“Well, you can throw it away now.” Donna cast her eyes downward guiltily. She had torn it up in a fit of pique after Sadie had stopped by her apartment the first time.   
  
“You already destroyed it, didn’t you?” he was meant to sound accusing, but there was no hiding the pride in Harvey’s voice.    
  
“Well, I figured you’d be more than happy to give me another one,” Donna replied sardonically. Harvey’s smile widened.    
  
  
“I realised too late what a mistake that was. We need you.” Such words were Donna’s kryptonite. Her insides always softened at Harvey admitting how important she was to him.   
  
“Well, if you _need_ me, then I guess I have no choice, do I?” She couldn’t help but smile. This would also mean that she could guarantee that Harvey found that document, and she would be able to witness the consequences in person. Harvey nodded.     
  
“Then we’ll talk tomorrow. It’ll be good to have you back.” With any luck, things would return to a happy equilibrium by the evening. Seeing as they’d be closer together again, the odds were good that it would be a fulfilling day.   



	11. The Ugly Truth

_“You’re dead to me.”_  
  
Donna awoke to a vague sensation of nausea. The night before, she’d been almost excited about the day ahead. But unconsciousness brought forth all the uncertainties, unfavourable memories and ‘what-ifs’ that she’d been trying to bury. The front of her mind as she awakened had reminded her of something that Louis had once said to her. The revelation that she had been lying to him about Mike’s status as a lawyer had put an inextricable rift between them.  
  
Even after she had decided to go work for him instead of Harvey, there had been times where she knew that Louis still harboured the faintest doubts about her loyalty to him. It had finally occurred to Donna that the truth that she had worked so hard to ensure its reveal would not be well-received, for more reasons than one. Whilst she was glad that she could put the truth into the right hands, she realised that the actual truth would hurt many people.  
  
The first fact was that there was someone within the firm who was working and delivering information to a rival. That was a serious matter that would have long-lasting implications, even if the perpetrator was removed immediately.  
  
She had to deal with the possibility that she would face trouble for not bringing it to people’s attention sooner. That was one of her lesser worries; she _had_ tried to convince Harvey, but at the time there was little evidence (that she could divulge). Not to mention the fact that Harvey had followed up on her claim and had ruled that she was wrong.  
  
Louis would be pissed off. Sure, most of that would be directed at Sadie for being the problem in the first place, but he would also be angry with Donna. Because she _was_ meant to trust him. But as of late, he had barely registered on her radar. She had been working for him for months _,_ and she still couldn’t prioritize him first.  
  
Donna could barely put herself first. The last major decision she had made for herself was the choice to work for Louis. It was a necessary move, but after all that had happened, she knew that what was best for her was closely linked to what was best for Harvey.  
  
The more pressing worry for Donna (once again proving how mismatched she was working for Louis)  was how Harvey would take the news. As much as Donna wanted to personally crush Sadie under her boot, she knew that it would affect him badly. To find out that yet another secretary had thrown his trust under the bus could send him over the edge. Which edge remained to be seen, but she knew that it was likely that she’d have to wait a while before continuing the conversation that Harvey had started the day before.  
  
And Donna wanted to be certain that they were both sure of what they wanted. She’d spent so long being angry with Harvey for not telling her exactly what he wanted, that now there was a chance that they were finally on the same page, she wasn’t ready. Not until she could be sure that there was nothing left in the way of complications.  
  
****************************************************************  
  
Louis didn’t seem to remember how angry he had once been with Donna; he was utterly ecstatic at her arrival back to work.  
  
“Donna! It’s so good to have you back!” He all but buried her in a warm hug, which was welcome, but all it did was make Donna feel guilty over lying to him. She tried to console herself with the reassurance that he’d know the truth soon enough.  
  
“It’s good to be back,” she mumbled into his shoulder. Louis sensed her less than happy tone, and pulled out of the hug, holding her at arm’s length.  
  
“What’s wrong?” he asked suspiciously.  
  
“Nothing. I’m fine,” Donna insisted.  
  
“Is this about Harvey? You can tell me anything, you know.” Louis almost sounded wistful. He had been envious of the closeness that Donna and Harvey had had, and she knew that he’d been attempting to recreate it.  
  
“ _No._ It’s not about Harvey.” Donna and Louis were friends, but she knew she’d never be able to be candid about her feelings for Harvey. The poor man had suffered enough. Lying to Louis really was the kindest option in this scenario.  
  
“Because if you want, I can go and beat the shit out of him,” Louis said boldly. She should have known that he’d make her feel better. Donna shook her head, trying not to laugh as she thought about the fact that Harvey had once offered to do the exact same thing to Louis.   
  
“That’s very kind of you Louis, but I think I’ll pass.”  
  
“Just say the word. I got your back.” She knew that he was secretly relieved that he wouldn’t have to actually go and fight Harvey. They both knew that Harvey would win, even if Louis pretended that it was only because he was instructed by his doctor to hold back.  
  
  
But after the pleasantries, Donna was happy to get back to doing some actual work. She needed to distract herself from worrying about everyone. She had done her job, it was just a matter of waiting for the chips to fall in the right places. The copies of the documents from the day before were likely still hidden around Harvey’s office, and there was still the back-up copy in Louis’ in-tray.   
  
“Thank you. So, what’s the agenda been looking like lately?” Donna asked brightly, eager to change the subject and start fixing what had fallen to pieces without her.  
  
“Well, did you finish with the Talmer Incorporated file?” That was an example of actual work that hadn’t been done. It was the first that Donna had heard that that file needed to be finished.  
  
“No, I didn’t think you needed me to finish it until I got back.” Donna hadn’t seen the file in question since before she had been unceremoniously banished from the firm.  
  
“ _No?_ I have a meeting with them this afternoon, I can’t go to the meeting without the file!” How Louis expected Donna to have done the work if she hadn’t received it or even knew about it was a mystery.  
  
“If I _had_ the file, I would have done it! You must have forgotten to include it!” Donna snapped at him. It was remarkable how she could go from zero to livid in 0.5 seconds. But Louis frustrated the hell out of her at times. Before Louis could retaliate, however, Mike provided a much-needed reprieve when he stuck his head around the door.  
  
“Louis? Jessica wants to see you her in her office right now. She sounds _pissed._ ” Louis and Donna both exchanged worried looks. Louis’ was because he had no idea what it could be about, and Donna’s was because she had too much of a good idea what it was about.  
  
  
“I’ll get onto this right away.” Donna promised. If she put her head down, she’d be able to finish it in time for Louis’ meeting in the afternoon. Louis gave her a single nod, and hurried out of the office to try and ease Jessica’s wrath. Mike was still hovering at the door; he looked as though he wanted to say something to Donna about their chance encounter the day before. But he changed his mind, and left Donna to her work. And after he left, it dawned on her. If Louis had included the file to be given to Donna, it was because of Harvey’s secretary that she never got it. Sadie had a lot to answer to.  
  
*******************************************  
  
  
Mike returned about twenty minutes later, just as Donna’s concentration was about to break. She had been to the file room three times, and the partner’s lounge twice. She would have gone more times if she was able to walk full speed, but the amount of rushing around had left her leg aching slightly. The area surrounding Harvey’s office she deliberately avoided. Donna didn’t want to run the risk of running into Harvey or Sadie until she knew where everyone stood. The meeting was taking longer than Donna was anticipating. The three espressos probably didn’t help, either.  
  
“Are you worried about Louis?”

  
“Louis?Why would I be worried about Louis?” In the grand scheme of what had been going on at the firm, Louis was not at the top of the list of her worries. She had been expecting a query about Harvey, or the future of his secretary. Louis, on the other hand, threw her off-guard.  
  
“Do you not _know_?” Mike found it bewildering that Donna seemed clueless. Especially considering the fact that she had been at the firm in an overwhelmingly suspicious capacity the day before. He pulled out the day’s newspaper and opened it to the editorials.  
  
“The DA wrote a full page opinion column about big law in Manhattan, and he included confidential information about the firm’s financials and clients.”  
  
“ _WHAT_?!” Donna seized the newspaper from Mike and read the article frantically. The article was damning to the firm. Some of the things Terrence Wolf discussed Donna could recognise from Sadie’s document. But there were other things that either Donna had missed, or Sadie had leaked at a different time. Either way, it was worse than Donna had originally feared.   
  
“Oh my God _._ And Jessica thinks _Louis_ leaked this information?!”  
  
“It came from Louis’ computer.” Donna looked up at Mike with a horrified expression. That document had only been the tip of the iceberg. And now Louis was about to take the fall for it.  
  
  
“But he didn’t do this! He would never – God, I have to fix this.” She pulled Sadie’s document from Louis’ in-tray and readied herself for the possibility of having to answer a lot of questions. She left Mike in her dust as she hastened to Jessica’s office, ignoring the throbbing in her leg.  
  
**************************  
  
From the loud voices that Donna could hear down the hallway, she knew that it wasn’t going to be pretty. The three named partners each posed their own special danger to Donna. Jessica, Harvey and Louis were meeting in Jessica’s office. The hierarchy of the three partners was evident even in the way they were seated. Jessica was on her sofa, one long leg crossed elegantly over the other. The only way to describe her was _regnant;_ as much as Harvey had tried to overthrow her in the past, he still trailed behind her in bloodshed caused by his own hands. Donna found that Jessica was the hardest to read out of the three; Louis wore his heart on his sleeve, and even Harvey could often be an open book (when he actually managed to get in touch with his feelings). Jessica, however, had built her career and her reign by being cool, calculated and therefore ruthless. It was rare that she offered her emotions freely. The threat posed by Jessica was that Donna had no idea how she would react to this news that it was actually the fault of someone else. And the risk remained that Donna faced trouble for not coming forward with the information earlier.  
  
The dangers of Harvey and Louis, on the other hand, were that Donna was fairly certain she knew _exactly_ how they were going to react to the news. As much as she craved justice for the issue at hand, she knew that she was making a risky move as the messenger.  
  
Harvey was sitting on the arm of Jessica’s sofa; not quite her equal, but still at her right hand. He was leaning forward slightly, as though he was ready to lead the fight into battle at Jessica’s word. In the royal court that was Jessica’s office, he was the knight. He was her protégé, her secret weapon. Donna knew all too well the damage he could inflict on a person. Sometimes without even trying.  From the look on his face, it looked as though Jessica had instructed him to be ready with the guillotine at her orders. He was staring at Louis, itching for permission to let loose on his co-worker.  
  
Meanwhile, Louis was standing. Even now he remained the outsider of the three. If anyone were to be labelled the jester of the firm, it would be Louis. Despite his high ranking position, he had been treated as a joke several times over his career. One of the reasons why Donna had decided to tell the three of them together was to show Louis that she regarded the three of them as equals. The memory was all too clear in her head the last time she had concealed the truth about something from Louis. She had intended to just have Harvey find out, but the fact remained that Donna still worked for Louis. Her job was to protect him. Especially now that Louis was facing trouble for a problem which she should have stomped out already. And as a result, Jessica and Harvey looked more than ready to sentence him to a metaphorical death over this.  At least Louis might be grateful that she had the truth to vindicate him.   
  
None of this contemplation over their roles in the firm helped Donna ease her worries, however. She stood in the hallway, a few steps back from the door. She was far enough back that none of them noticed her. Her heartbeat was still beating close to a million beats per minute.  It would take a few seconds before she felt calm enough to proceed through that door and interrupt the argument that was taking place. It was of course Louis and Harvey who had failed to keep a lid on their volume.  
  
“This isn’t the first time this has happened, and I’m willing to bet that it won’t be the last. You said that you and Donna would make a better team, but all this has shown that the problem is not with your secretary, it’s with you.” Donna inched back towards the wall at mention of her name. She hadn’t been expecting to come up in conversation, much less to have Harvey and Louis bickering over her _again._  
  
“What does Donna have to do with this? It was _your_ idea to send her home, what the hell were you trying to prove?! That her absence would affect me at work?! Well, then you succeeded. But don’t try and tell me that having stretching _your_ secretary thin to help us both was anything more than rubbing it in my face.” No wonder Sadie could access Louis’ information, if she had been working with him in Donna’s absence.   
  
“Louis, it’s obvious that you fucked up, and that you’re blaming yourstupidity on the fact that you depend too much on Donna to do the most _basic_ of tasks.”  
  
“Oh, and you _didn’t_? Who was the one who came marching into my office because the only reason why you can function as a human being had decided to leave you?!”   
  
“ _That’s enough.”_ Jessica cut them off, much to Donna’s relief. She didn’t wish to witness a repeat of the last time they had argued about her.  
  
“I don’t know what the hell is going on with you two, but it stops right now. Louis, whether or not this was a mistake, this was _your_ mistake, and you’re going to make damn well sure that you fix it.” _Showtime._ Head straight, shoulders back, eyes forward. The few extra steps that Donna had to take provided the momentum to stride into Jessica’s office with a false confidence.  
  
  
“Jessica, it wasn’t Louis who leaked the information,” Donna blurted out. She had intended for her voice to be strong and clear, but there was no hiding the trepidation in her tone. The three of them stared at her for a few seconds, but Donna couldn’t bring herself to meet the gazes of Louis or Harvey. With a small gulp, she walked over to Jessica, handing her the document.  
  
“Sadie accidentally left this with me. I think you’ll find the source of the leak in here.” It wasn’t outright accusing the guilty party, but it was enough that Jessica could put two and two together. It was a painful minute as Jessica skimmed through the document, her expression unreadable.  
  
“Thank you, Donna, you may go.” Donna had done all she could now. It was literally out of her hands. She allowed herself a cursory glance at Louis as she turned to leave. Despite the grave situation, she let out the biggest sigh of relief and returned to her desk feeling much lighter than before.   
  
  
********  
  
Jessica waited until Donna was out of earshot before speaking again.  
  
“Well, Louis, it looks like you’re in the clear. I’m sorry that you had to be dragged into this.” Under normal circumstances, Louis would have kicked up a stir over being implicated in the first place, but he recognised that something was up and he accepted her apology with a nod.  
  
“What the hell is that?” Harvey demanded, gesturing to the document in Jessica’s hands.  
  
“Your secretary seems to be in frequent contact with the DA. Did you know about this?” Now it was Harvey in the firing line. Jessica handed the document to Harvey so he could see the evidence himself.  
  
“I didn’t know she was spilling firm secrets to Terrence Wolf, no,” Harvey replied quietly. He had worded his answer carefully. The document was thick, and it felt as though it weighed several pounds. The extra weight was from the knowledge that he had been wrong to trust his secretary. There was no mistaking the logo from the District Attorney’s office and the employee code; he had created many documents with the same format himself.  
  
  
“But you knew she was talking to him?” Louis relished the fact that Harvey was the one in trouble, and the chance to interrogate him was one that he was not about to pass up. Harvey shot him a dark look before answering.  
  
“Yes,” Harvey was realising how bad it sounded. “She was a witness in one of his assault cases.” This admission antagonized Jessica further. She stood up finally, towering over a contrite Harvey.  
  
“Where is she? You better find her, and bring her here right away.” Her tone was threatening, and the anger was certainly catching. Harvey was more than happy to leave and lead the hunt for her, even if was just so he could avoid the urge to pick something up and smash it against the wall.  
  
His office and her desk were empty. He had noticed that he hadn’t seen her that morning, but it hadn’t concerned him at the time. Now it was downright suspicious.  
He searched in multiple places around the firm where she might be; the file room, the staff lounge, supply closets. As he was doing so, he couldn’t help but think back to a conversation that he and Donna had had one of the last times she had wanted to warn him.  
  
_“This is not your fault, and I never want to hear you say that again. You did everything you could have done.”  
  
_ Harvey had seen how upset Donna was to have to deliver that _goddamn_ document to them earlier. And she had continued to try and warn him. But Harvey had refused to listen. He was having trouble trying to figure out whether he was angrier at his soon-to-be-ex secretary for being a traitor, or himself for not taking Donna more seriously. But at that point it didn’t matter. She was still nowhere to be seen; he had to enlist more reinforcements. She obviously didn’t want to be found.  
  
Mike and Rachel were in Mike’s office, both with grim expressions on their faces. Their lack of surprise at Harvey’s arrival suggested that they had been waiting for Harvey to stop by.  
  
“Where the hell did Sadie go? Have you seen her?” Rachel and Mike exchanged glances, and Mike pushed forward a resignation-shaped envelope across his desk.  
  
“Harvey, we just found this on her desk. She’s already gone.”    
  
Secretary number thirteen had left the building.  
  
*****************************************  


Donna had walked to the file room and back about ten more times before Louis returned from the meeting. Much to her relief, he didn’t appear to be angry. To the contrary, he had a tired smile on his face as he leaned against her cubicle.  
  
“What’s going on? What’s happening? What - where’s Sadie?” She was beginning to think that her behaviour came less from nerves and more from the absurd amounts of caffeine she had consumed in such a short space.  
  
“Sadie left her letter of resignation on her desk. She must have known that the writing would be on the wall when the article came out. We’ll be looking into legal action to take against her and Terrence Wolf.”  
  
“She _resigned_?!” Donna had secretly been hoping for the chance to fire her herself, but a resignation was worse. It meant that yet another person had left Harvey. She pulled back out of her chair. “I have to go and talk to him.” But as she was about to leave, she gave Louis a pleading look. It wasn’t as though she had to ask for permission, but more for understanding. He gave her a knowing nod.  
  
“Go. He’s feeling pretty low. I know you’ll make him feel better.” Louis was speaking from experience. Donna gave him a grateful hug, but he knew as he watched her hurry down the hallway that he’d always play second fiddle to Harvey. And it was time for him to accept that.  
  
***************************************  
  
Harvey was at his desk, facing the window. She was positive that he heard the door open, but he made no movement to turn around. Donna sat down on his couch and waited patiently for him to be ready to talk. Her mind was perfectly content with waiting, but she couldn’t stop her good leg from jiggling incessantly. She knew how much she resembled an impatient child, but it couldn’t be helped.  
  
  
“What’s wrong with your leg?” Harvey asked; he could see her reflection in the window. Donna forcibly put her foot down and smiled sheepishly. But it served as a perfect icebreaker - he swivelled around to face her, struggling to keep up his steely expression.  
  
“Three espressos, huh?” Harvey had learned over the years to match Donna’s ability at figuring out how many coffees he had drank. It helped that her tells were far more pronounced than his signature - one espresso was properly functioning, two was finishing work for Harvey before he even knew it existed (the usual standard), and three was _wired._  
  
“Well, after what happened _before_ my unwelcome hiatus, I wanted to be 300% certain that I wouldn’t fall asleep at work ever again.” The corner of Harvey’s mouth twitched, which was a good sign. He wasn’t quite wallowing in the deep end just yet.  
  
“You know it was Sadie who put the idea in my head to send you home?” Harvey told her morosely.  
  
“That two-faced bitch,” Donna replied, putting her thumbnail in her mouth to prevent her leg from jiggling again. It also worked at stopping her from properly articulating her thoughts about Sadie. They could wait.  
  
“She said you should take some time off, and I was the one who thought a restraining order was a good idea. I didn’t realise it was because it made it easier to leak stuff to Terrence Wolf.”  
  
“Harvey, it’s not your fault.” Harvey had told her multiple times over the years not to blame herself for things, and now it was time for her to return the favour. Sadie had been pretty damn convincing at playing the role of trustworthy secretary.  
  
  
“Isn’t it?” It wasn’t a rhetorical question; he was giving her the opportunity to blame him. Not just for refusing to believe her, but for his overall behaviour.  She didn’t think it was the best time to address their deeper issues while he was still obviously upset.  
  
“Would breaking something make you feel better? I think Sadie left a couple of paperweights that would look great in a million pieces,” Donna suggested, diplomatically changing the subject. They would have time to discuss their feelings later on.  
  
“I want to break our rule.” His reply stopped Donna’s thought train in its tracks.  
  
“ _Our_ rule?” Harvey was verging on dangerous territory. If he was talking about the rule that she thought he was referring to, then their conversation had just taken an unexpected turn. He really was eager to continue their talk from the night before.  
  
“Donna, we both know goddamn well that the minute I agreed to try and forget about the other time, it became my rule as well.” He was right. Even if the rule only applied to Donna, he had agreed to it and been the perfect gentleman in sticking to it. Until he had told her he loved her, of course.  
  
  
“We can’t break the rule, because I don’t work for you. Unless you’re saying you want me to quit working for Louis, start immediately working for you again, _just_ so we can break the rule?” She tried to make it sound as absurd as possible; it was still uncertain whether he was of sound mind to be making such proposals. Donna definitely didn’t want to be the rebound secretary.  
  
“That’s exactly what I want. I want everything. I want you back.” The number of times that Harvey had said words to that effect to her in recent months was tallying up to the point where Donna was almost allowing herself to believe it.  But until she heard him say that he loved her again, she’d play it down.  
  
  
“Well, I guess there’s a huge caseload that just opened up that I could help you with - I’m thinking an injunction?” she suggested, knowing that he would leap at the opportunity to stick it to Terrence Wolf.  
  
  
“An injunction? That’ll never work. It’s already been published.” His defeatist demeanour was infuriating. Donna stood up and walked over to his desk, pressing her palms down forcefully into the hard surface. He needed a good, old-fashioned Donna pep talk.  
  
“What kind of attitude is that?! I didn’t work with you for all those years so you could back down from a little challenge!” Trust Donna to take words that he had once said to her and turn it back into advice for him. Harvey appreciated the pep talk, but he had to point out the reality of the situation.  
  
  
“It’s the truth! Unless it stated that Terrence Wolf had to go round every single newsstand in New York City picking up all unsold copies of the newspaper. I was thinking we go and scare some people at the New York Times to publish a full-page retraction and apology on the front page of both the print and online editions,” Harvey presented his tempting counter-offer.  
  
“Well, why not both?” Who said they couldn’t kick multiple asses in one day?  
  
Harvey gave her a huge smile as he realised that Donna had implicitly agreed to work with him again.  He stood up slowly so they were at eye level. Donna was proud to see him adopt his determined game face.    
  
“Let’s do it.” Harvey nearly bolted out the door, but Donna caught him by the arm before he could make any rash movements.  
  
“Wait, Harvey! Are we going to the courthouse?” He also needed to slow down because she’d fall over if she had to keep up with his pace. They had time to savour their first case together in a long time.   
  
“Of course we are, why?” Donna gave him a triumphant smile that cemented their new working relationship.   
  
“Then you better go get the can-opener.”


	12. Stop the Presses

**3 Years Ago**  
  
A flying carton of Chunky Monkey ice cream was an excellent way to test Harvey Specter’s reflexes. He saw it from the corner of his eye and caught it a split second before it would have hit him and exploded all over his suit. The source of the ice cream was now standing in front of his desk, looking down at him with a sympathetic look on her face.   
  
“What the hell is this?” he demanded, setting the carton on his desk and trying to conceal the fright that the frozen projectile had caused him.   
  
“I know what you said about Chunky Monkey, and after thinking about what you said, I decided that I’m going to reject your rejection.” Harvey had been wondering whether this moment would manifest.   
  
“But it’s not even breakfast time,” Harvey said with a touch of sarcasm.   
  
“Doesn’t matter. It’s got chocolate. There’s always time for chocolate” As far as Donna was concerned, there was never a bad time for chocolate.   
  
“Donna, I have work to do. Can we do this later?” ‘ _This’_ wasn’t strictly referring to the ice cream, and they both knew it. She was presumably waiting for him to have some kind of emotional breakdown about Zoe.   
  
“No, that’s okay. You keep working, I’ll just sit here quietly, enjoying the ice cream that you’re _still_ refusing. I can’t believe you’re just going to let it melt,” Donna said, shaking her head in utter disdain. She settled herself into his couch with her own carton, and Harvey knew it was going to be a long night.   
  
“If I eat it, will you leave sooner?” He knew that there would be no ripping off the band-aid with Donna, but that sure as hell didn’t mean that he wasn’t going to try.   
  
“I can’t make any promises. But signs point to yes.” Donna knew that even a conditional ‘yes’ was as good as a complete victory. He’d just given her the perfect opportunity to elongate their conversation as much as possible.   
  
“I don’t have a spoon.” Harvey said stubbornly. There was no good reason for him to make it easy for Donna to achieve her goal.  And he _really_ hoped that she wasn’t about to suggest that he eat it straight.   
  
“If you move that messy pile of papers, you’ll find one,” Donna replied, gesturing to the stack with her spoon. Harvey didn’t appreciate the dig at the way he kept his desk, but he dutifully fished through his files and found a large silver spoon sitting at him. The way that it shone so innocently under the light of his office didn’t align with how it obviously must have found its way onto his desk.   
  
“When did you put this here?”   
  
“Does it _really_ matter?” Harvey knew that that was Donna’s way of saying that it had already been there when she had initially made the offer to him. The way that she had let it stay there meant that Donna had trusted that they’d be having such a meeting, even after he said no. Harvey didn’t like it one bit.   
  
  
“I know what you’re doing, Donna,” Harvey said, taking his first mouthful of ice cream. Her end goal was to get him to discuss his feelings about Zoe leaving. But Donna was going to go home empty-handed, because there was nothing he had to say on the matter.   
  
“I’d be disappointed in you if you didn’t.”   
  
“So, are you going to force me to talk about my feelings?” No-one could _force_ Harvey to do anything, but Donna was the one person who could get pretty damn close.   
  
“Not if you don’t want to talk,” Donna replied, shrugging pacifistically.   
  
“Good,” Harvey said bluntly. It felt like a trap. If Donna wanted something, she _never_ gave in without a fight. Donna didn’t respond right away, and every second of silence where she didn’t protest made Harvey more and more nervous.    
  
“I mean, I know you’ll apologise to Mike when you’re ready.” _There it is._ He hadn’t been expecting her to mention Mike at all, and the surprise prompted him to respond before he could even consider his answer.   
  
“I’m not apologising to Mike. His behaviour has been completely inexcusable lately.” Harvey knew as soon as he said it that his statement was perhaps a little too harsh, but he wasn’t planning on apologising, either.    
  
“His _grandmother_ just died. I think it’s okay if he’s a little off his game,” Donna pointed out.   
  
“Was I off my game when my father died?” It was a jackpot for Donna. Although the purpose of the ice cream therapy had meant to be in relation to Zoe, she would happily take Harvey talking about his father’s death.   
  
“Of course not, but that’s because you’re you, and you don’t let anything throw you. _Ever_ ,” she added for good measure; it was hard to tell whether she meant it as an insult or a compliment. That was the unusual thing about Donna – she always knew the truth about people, and   
  
“Zoe thought I lost my way,” Harvey admitted. Donna allowed herself a little triumphant smile.   
  
“And you _let_ her think that,” Donna clarified, and Harvey gave a conceding little nod as he dug a little further into his ice cream.   
  
“She was right. I wasn’t thinking straight. I didn’t want to admit the possibility that my head was in the wrong place.” There were a few seconds of silence as they both mulled over Harvey’s comment. But it wasn’t over yet. Donna had barely scratched the surface.   
  
“Is that why you’re pretending to be okay about her leaving?” Donna didn’t get the answer she wanted. Instead, Harvey suddenly let out an almighty wince, inhaling sharply and dropping his spoon. A sudden pain had hit him, rendering him practically speechless.   
  
“ _Fuck,_ ” he managed to hiss, clenching his fists and arching back in his chair.    
  
“Oh my God,” Donna said, jumping up and rushing straight to his side.   
  
“What is it? Should I call 911?” Harvey let out another moan of pain, and any level-headedness of Donna’s flew out the window. Medical emergencies were not Donna’s forte, and watching Harvey   
  
“Use your words, Harvey, I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong!” Donna’s voice had climbed several octaves in pitch as she tried not to panic at Harvey’s visible agony.   
  
“It’s nothing, it’ll pass – ah, _shit!_ ” Harvey groaned as a second wave of pain hit him, though not as bad as the first. It eased off after a couple of seconds, and he was able to sit back upright and give Donna a pallid smile. It did nothing to wipe the terrified look off her face.   
  
“See? I’m fine.” He so desperately wanted for her slightly glistening eyes to be a trick of the light.  
  
“Oh, you’re _fine?_ I bring up a touchy subject and suddenly you’re practically convulsing on the floor? I _know_ your family’s medical history, Harvey. I don’t know what the hell you’d call this, but it’s definitely not _fine._ ” Her voice broke on the last word, and Harvey registered just how tightly she was gripping his right fist with both hands. Given that they had just been discussing Harvey’s father, he knew that her first thought was something to do with his heart. Harvey almost didn’t want to tell her the anticlimactic truth about his episode. But it would be cruel of him to lie.    
  
“Brain freeze, Donna. That’s all.” Her face went from one of panic to confusion to a mixture of fury and embarrassment in about a second. The way she instantly relinquished her grip on his hand hurt almost as much as the brain freeze itself.   
  
“You son of a bitch.” Without another word, she seized the ice cream and spoon off his desk and made for the door.   
  
“You’re not even going to let me finish? Come on!” Harvey called after her, trying to laugh it off. In his defence, it _was_ an awful case of brain freeze, but he felt bad for making Donna worry.   
  
“If you want to finish this, you’re going to have a proper conversation with me about your feelings. Until then, don’t even think about it.” Donna made sure that the door closed as noisily as it would allow as she sat down at her own desk, avoiding Harvey’s sorrowful gaze through the glass. He had gotten what he wanted, which was to stall their inevitable discussion about Zoe. This time, it was Harvey who came to _her_ desk. He had her carton that she had dropped on his floor held out in a peace offering.  
  
“You dropped this.”   
  
“Yeah, because I was busy attending to your melodramatic ass,” Donna snapped. She had been the one to threaten to call 911 over brain freeze, but Harvey knew that to point that out would be callous.   
  
“Brain freeze is a very serious medical condition, you know. Maybe the ice cream was a bad idea after all,” he suggested, knowing very well that Donna would disagree. She would blame it on his lack of cooperation with her conversation.   
  
“No way. Just as I ask you a tough question about Zoe, you just _happen_ to get an ice cream headache? You better not fucking toy with me, Specter.”   
  
“I would never toy with you,” Harvey told her gently. And that was the truth. He had never _meant_ to cause her any harm. Donna swallowed a sniffle and finally took the ice cream that Harvey was offering.    
  
  
“You obviously can’t handle Chunky Monkey anyway. Brain freeze? What are you, twelve?”  


* * *

 

**Present Day**

Every time Donna had tried to get Harvey to talk about how he was feeling, there had always been a caveat. Harvey had promised her that he’d never _deliberately_ toy with her, but that didn’t mean that his actions and lack of actions failed to hurt her. Either brain freeze got in the way, or there were rules that rules that they couldn’t overstep. Or Harvey was upset about being betrayed and needed someone to be his emotional support – _not_ a romantic partner. Harvey didn’t _seem_ to be in a state of emotional vulnerability, but that probably had a lot to do with the high they were on from a successful legal day.   
  
“How are you holding up?” she asked him on their way back to the firm. He had refused to mention Sadie by her first name or barely touch on the fact that she had worked for him. It could have been down to the fact that they had had a busy day, but she also knew that Harvey’s eagerness to keep busy was a little extreme – even for him.   
  
“Did you see what we achieved today? I feel awesome.” That wasn’t what Donna had been getting at, but she knew it was the wrong time to press the matter, so she changed the subject.    
  
“Is the firm still shouting me dinner tonight? I think I deserve it after that performance,” Donna yawned, stretching out in her seat of the car. The espressos had finally worn off, and the resulting hangover was excruciating. It wasn’t exactly brain freeze, but it was contributing to her less than jubilant mood. She had pulled off her jacket and draped it over her eyes to alleviate her headache.   
  
“I think you scarred that poor journalist for life. After all you did today, I’m sure Jessica will be more than happy with the restaurant we’re going to.”   
  
“Who’s we?” Donna pretended like she hadn’t noticed the implied thanks he had given.   
  
“You, me, Mike, Rachel, Jessica...Louis,” Harvey added in a grudging voice. Donna wanted to sigh. It was obviously too much for her to ever expect Louis and Harvey to see eye to eye anymore.   
  
“Oh good, a bigger audience for your heartfelt apology.”  
  
“Apology? What made you think that there’d be any apology?” She knew that Harvey was joking, but it made her realise in that moment how much she _really fucking needed_ a proper apology before she’d be willing to proceed with their working relationship. And not just ‘I’m sorry’. She knew that Harvey had been ready to give her that the night before, but after the upset with Sadie it was going to be hard to tell which part of him was genuinely _ready_ to say it. Or maybe it was just easier to expect that the apology she was wanting might never arrive.    
  
“ _’I’m sorry Donna for abusing the law to send me home, and also for ever doubting you_ ’? There we go, I even wrote your speech for you,” Donna said, giving his knee an encouraging pat.   
  
“Abusing the law? We trespassed you because it was a matter of _safety,_ ” Harvey protested, lifting the jacket off her face so he could give her his best wounded look.   
  
“Whose safety, exactly?” she challenged, squinting at him.   
  
“Everyone’s.” It was the only safe response to the question, but it was also the most truthful. Donna accepted this answer, and tugged the jacket from Harvey’s hands. She sensed that he was about to make a quip about her headache in comparison to his brain freeze, but instead he smiled and let her take the jacket back. They didn’t say another word for the rest of the journey. There’d be plenty of time for that later.   


 

* * *

 

Harvey had invited her to have a celebratory scotch in his office, but she had politely declined. It wasn’t the best idea to have alcohol when her head was still thumping a little, and she figured there’d be plenty of time to celebrate at dinner. Plus, she needed a little bit of time to comprehend all that had happened that day. The water cooler in the partner’s lounge provided the perfect opportunity for her to be alone with her thoughts. Her few moments of peace and quiet at the water cooler ended when Louis found her with her eyes closed, in an almost meditative state.   
  
“How’d it go today?” She could hear the false peppiness in his voice; he knew what was coming and he was trying to be happy for Donna. Donna couldn’t quite match the excitement in his voice as she opened her eyes to Louis.   
  
“It went great,” Donna said listlessly. “The _Times_ will be printing a retraction, and for once we got a judge that doesn’t hate Harvey, so the civil case is well on its way.”   
  
“You don’t sound so happy about it,” Louis said astutely, pouring himself a cup of water. In recent weeks, Donna had almost forgotten that they were friends, first and foremost. The first time she had rejected being Louis’ secretary wasn’t just because of her loyalty to Harvey. It was because she had anticipated this happening. They’d barely had a proper personal conversation in about a month.    
  
  
“I’m just dehydrated. It’s been a long day,” Donna sighed, leaning against the water cooler.    
  
“That’s not it,” Louis said, shaking his head. He had been there when Harvey couldn’t say exactly how he loved Donna. Louis knew that was still weighing on her mind, even more so when she was likely to join him again on a permanent basis. He also knew that if there was any doubt, she wouldn’t be making the shift back to him.   
  
  
“He wants to break the rule.” She didn’t need to explain any further. Louis had had so many questions about the _whys_ of Harvey and Donna’s relationship, but this rule seemed to answer most of them.   
  
“Harvey’s always been a rule-breaker,” Louis nodded understandingly. He had a strange ability to bolster Donna’s confidence in Harvey during the rare times that it faltered.   
  
“But this is the first time in nearly 13 years that he said he wants to break this rule.” _Why had it taken him this long? But also, why was he saying it now?!_ Donna knew that her latter questions Louis wouldn’t be able to answer. Hell, even Harvey probably couldn’t give her a proper answer.   
  
“Isn’t that a good thing?”  
  
“You’re not supposed to be on _his_ side,” Donna smiled in spite of herself.   
  
“I’m not on his side, I’m on your side. Is this what will make you happy?” She had always put other people first – even her choice to go work for Louis would never have happened had he not expressed his need for her. It was time for Louis to ensure that sheput herself first for once.   
  
“Would you still be my friend if I said that it was what I wanted?” she asked meekly. Louis gave her a huge hug that said more than his words could.   
  
“Of _course_ I would. Plus, it’s clear that I can handle having a different secretary far better than Harvey can,” Louis said proudly. It had the intended effect; Donna laughed as she realised the truth of his statement. Even Harvey would agree to that.   


* * *

 

Donna had promised that she wouldn’t fall asleep at work again, but she convinced herself that there was a technical difference between _falling_ asleep (implying it was accidental) and a well-timed, much needed power nap to refresh herself before dinner. As long as no-one found her, they’d be none the wiser.   
  
As far as she was aware, they hadn’t. No-one had made a single jibe at her all evening. She was feeling much better than she had been all day. Although _still_ no apology had come her way from Harvey. An apology had been issued over sending her home, but it wasn’t _the_ apology that she had been waiting for. But she was so drunk that she couldn’t be bothered caring anymore that night.   
  
“The only way you can make me forgive you is by putting my name up on that goddamn wall.” Donna had suggested it to Harvey before, but this time she had far more power to make such a proposal.   
  
“Pearson Specter Litt Paulsen?” Harvey asked with a grin.   
  
“Pearson Paulsen Specter Litt,” Donna corrected him boldly. Harvey had much to learn in the way of   
  
“Paulsen Pearson Specter Litt?” This time Harvey sneaked a glance at Jessica’s reaction; she simply rolled her eyes.   
  
“ _That’s_ more like it. Now say it ten times fast,” Donna giggled.   
  
“ _Easy._ Paulsenpearsonspecterlitt.Paulsenpearsonspecterlitt. Paulsenpearsonspearson-”  
  
“I think we need to cut these two off,” Mike whispered to Rachel. Harvey and Donna had _barely_ acknowledged anyone else at the table the entire evening. Their recount of their escapade of intimidating the editor-in-chief of _The New York Times_ into obtaining a full-page retraction sounded extremely far-fetched, as though they were making up. No-one else could decipher what the hell they were talking about when Harvey mentioned the significance of one of the journalists’ arrangement of thumb-tacks in the newsroom.   
  
“They’re so adorable, though. I haven’t seen them this happy in a long time,” Rachel whispered back.   
  
“Do you think this means that they’re actually gonna – you know?” Mike questioned to his fiancée.  
  
“What are you guys talking about?” Louis asked in a loud whisper, sticking his head in their direction. Harvey and Donna had now moved onto impersonations of the editor-in-chief, and Jessica was patiently listening. She had, however, given the bottle of wine back to the waiter to make it harder for Donna and Harvey to intoxicate themselves any further. Mike glanced at Rachel and then back at Louis.  
  
“We were thinking of making a wager,” Mike said, in a tone that intrigued Louis. Rachel was normally morally opposed to such wagers, but given how sure she was about the outcome, this time she wasn’t going to say ‘ _no’_.   


* * *

  
Dessert (but no ice cream) and long drinks of water had meant that by the time Jessica paid the bill for the table, Donna and Harvey were no longer quite so inebriated. Harvey was even self-aware enough to apologise to Jessica for nearly dropping a cuff link in her soup.   
  
“We’ll arrange an appropriate punishment in the morning. You kids have fun,” Jessica said, giving them a knowing smile. Normally Donna would have taken umbrage to being labelled a child, but it was close to how she felt. As they saw off the other four, she couldn’t help but feel like a teenager about to go to prom for the first time.   
  
“What shall we do?” Harvey asked her, once the last cab had driven off.   
  
“ _We_?” Yup, definitely prom night jitters. In fact, she felt more nervous _now_ than she had at her prom. Her actions had consequences now. Donna was certain that she was blushing, but she hoped that the cool evening air was a reasonable cover.   
  
“You’re not sick of my company already, are you?” How could he seem so _calm_? She couldn’t help but have the fear that _this_ was what Harvey meant by wanting everything – working together, being incredibly close…but still not bridging that gap.   
  
“No…but I need a walk.” She didn’t wait for Harvey to respond, she started taking off down the street. Even with her slightly restricted walking ability, her head start meant that Harvey had to take a few quick strides to catch up with her. But he was still in good spirits; his head was lifted upwards slightly, looking up at the Manhattan skyline above them. In contrast, Donna had her head pointed downwards at the ground. It represented the balance in their relationship well; Harvey was always looking ahead to the end of the road, while Donna was making sure that they wouldn’t trip along the way.   
  
For the first time that Donna could remember, their silence was an awkward one. Or at least, that’s how Donna felt. She knew that one of them ought to be speaking, but which words and about what she was unsure. Harvey didn’t seem to share in her sense of awkwardness. On the contrary, he was enjoying being in her presence, even if it was a wordless one. But by the sixth block, even Harvey felt the need to break the ice.  
  
  
“Thank you for helping me today, Donna.” His unprompted expression of gratitude made Donna look up in surprise. The whole evening had been about thanking her. His tone was as though he had begged her to reveal the truth and assist him; when in reality she had _wanted_ to help him.    
  
“Harvey, I wasn’t going to make you deal with that on your own. Why do you think I drank so much coffee today?” She playfully nudged his arm with her shoulder.   
  
“What I’m saying is that you didn’t have to. You could have left me to clean up my mess alone,” Harvey pointed out, nudging her back.   
  
“It wasn’t your mess to clean up. And even if I could, I wouldn’t. Trust me.” It was a throwaway comment, but Harvey recognised the significance of her last two words even if she didn’t. Harvey stopped walking so he could meet her gaze properly. His dark eyes were almost indistinguishable against the night that surrounded them, but even easier to get lost in.   
  
“I do trust you.” _Goddamn Harvey Specter._  He was picking up their conversation from both the night before and from earlier that day.   
  
“Maybe we should talk about this somewhere warm; I’m freezing my ass off.” The speed with which Harvey hailed them a taxi suggested that he was just as cold. She hadn’t specifically mentioned a ‘somewhere warm’, but Harvey knew that where she had meant to finish their Donna noticed that Harvey had the most peculiar little smile on his face as they got out of the taxi outside her apartment building. He caught sight of her confused look as she pass through the door Harvey was holding open.   
  
“I’ve only been to your apartment at night a few times before,” Harvey explained as he followed her inside.   
  
“Oh, _God._ Yes, Harvey. The godawful dinner party, the other time and the other _other_ time,” There was little doubt that she was referring to the time that they had had their huge argument. There was one last night time that she had left out, and she was hoping that he would fill in the blank. Whilst Donna’s leg was on the mend, the elevator in her apartment was stagnant in its state of ill-repair.   
  
“You’re missing one,” Harvey said as they got closer to Donna’s door.  
  
“Am I?” For once, Donna was _terrible_ at feigning ignorance, but Harvey played along.   
  
“Yeah, do you remember how I said I love you?” Only Harvey Specter could give her that giddy feeling in the pit of her stomach. He was still her biggest weakness of them all. It certainly didn’t go unnoticed how he said ‘love’ instead of ‘loved’.   
  
“Actually, I’d completely forgotten,” Donna replied loftily, turning her head away from him to put her key in the door. She knew that he was smiling at her, and it was hard for her to conceal a big, dorky grin herself. Harvey leaned on the door frame as if it were her locker, not the entrance to her home. It was the exact same playful look he had given her the first time he had suggested that she might like him.     
  
“Turns out, I sorta meant it. And I was thinking that I should probably tell you exactly how much.” His voice went from silly to serious in such a short space of time that Donna didn’t want to push it. It made her pause for a moment. She slowly turned her head back to Harvey, leaving her key in the lock. Harvey was watching her carefully, waiting for her permission to proceed.     
  
“God, if you’re about to start reciting poetry or something else stupid like that, I think I might have to rethink this arrangement.” Harvey gave a familiar scrunch-up of his nose at mention of poetry.   
  
“Nah, I’m still not a Shakespeare fan.”   
  
“But are you still a Donna fan?” _The more important question_.   
  
“I never stopped.” Harvey had finished joking around, and he was now patiently waiting for her to meet him at his level.   
  
“Harvey Specter just admitted his feelings! Stop the presses!” Donna gasped sarcastically. She didn’t know when exactly she became the one to deflect her emotions with jokes, but she had some leftover nervousness to expel from her system. She was waiting for the road block that would stop them from moving forward; but tonight the way was clear.   
  
“We already did.” Harvey reminded her of their success at the newspaper from earlier that day.   _Donna and Harvey were back._ Donna nodded slowly at the thought, a beaming smile on her face.  
  
“ _’We already did’._ You know, I like the sound of that,” she decided. Harvey matched her smile.    
  
“So do I.” Then, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, Harvey leaned over and kissed her. It was soft and sweet and _far_ too short for Donna’s liking. _Completely_ unlike their last romantic encounter. But even given the kiss’ short duration, it had left Donna almost winded. Harvey drew back his head so his mouth was by her ear.   
  
“I know you want to say it. Those four little words you’ve been dying to say to me all night.”   
  
“What, I love you too?”    
  
“ _No_ ,” Harvey grinned, although he appreciated that as well, “The other one.” Donna was slowly unbuttoning Harvey’s jacket so it would be easier for him to shed it once they got inside.   
  
“I don’t know, Harvey,” she shrugged. This time Harvey took a full step back, much to Donna’s dismay. It was cold even out in the hallway, and she was missing his extra warmth next to her.    
  
“You don’t _know_?” he asked in mock horror.  
  
“In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m a little preoccupied right now,” she replied, gesturing to his half open jacket. She reached out and pulled him back into her by his jacket, giving him a kiss that put his previous one to shame. Harvey wrapped one arm around her, the other tangled in her hair. He could remember their last dalliance over the line, and he was sure it hadn’t been as incredible as this. But Donna broke their kiss prematurely again.   
  
“I choose you, Harvey?” Donna guessed. Harvey shook his head; she was saying things that he _wanted_ her to say, but not what she deserved to say.   
  
“Why don’t you just say it for me, then?” Donna suggested, pressing her forehead against his.   
  
“I told you so,” Harvey’s soft voice tickled her ear. It sounded even better coming from Harvey than if she’d had to say it herself.   
  
“Oh my God, that’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever said,” Donna moaned. If she was being honest, the thought hadn’t crossed her mind. Of course, that probably had a lot to do with all the distractions that Harvey had provided her.   
  
“So far…” he raised an eyebrow suggestively, and Donna smirked back at him.   
  
“I have an idea.” Those four words were equally promising to Harvey. Donna reached behind her to open her front door.   
  
“Does it involve whipped cream?”   
  
“ _Chocolate_ whipped cream,” Donna said, tugging him inside by the hand. Harvey was in no position to decline. She pulled away from him to grab the aforementioned whipped cream. When she brought it back to him and tucked it into his pocket, he pulled out his own contribution from the other pocket – their can-opener that he’d been carrying all day. She looked from the can-opener to Harvey’s face with wide eyes.    
  
“You were carrying that all day?” Donna had thought Harvey was just happy to see her.   
  
“Yeah. I’ve been using it as a good luck charm. But now that I’ve got you, I don’t need it anymore,” Harvey remarked as he wrapped both arms around her waist again. His comment nearly turned her legs to jelly, but her arms had a sturdy hold around his neck.   
  
“You do realise you won’t be able to just say cute things like that just so I’ll do stuff for you. I expect compensation.”  Harvey leaned in and kissed her for a third time.   
  
“I wouldn’t expect less. I had a good idea where to start.” Harvey started leading them slowly to Donna’s bedroom. She looked up at him with a look of admiration as she knew exactly what he had in mind; a true sign that they were back for good.    
  
“Wow, I really have taught you well.”   
  
_Fin_

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to be honest. The finale was upsetting. The main thing running through my mind was how betrayed Harvey would have been feeling, especially considering Donna went to Louis of all people. The argument between Louis and Harvey was the driving force behind this story. I had had a few requests to continue my other story that was set after 4x15, but I feel like I needed to get this one out more. I tried to end it on a bit more of a hopeful tone (original drafts had it being a straight-up angsty story with no resolution and no happy ending. But who needs that when we were left with such a cliffhanger?!), but I hope that the ending didn't take away from the emotion of Louis and Harvey in the middle of the story. Thanks for reading!!


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